tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-269648634709183279.post4889960071756698052..comments2023-10-21T06:41:09.118-07:00Comments on Random Enlightenment: No Courting!Markhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15292824227963056711noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-269648634709183279.post-57234139497113135272008-11-18T20:00:00.000-08:002008-11-18T20:00:00.000-08:00Jay: I remember that mocking! I even have an "enco...Jay: I remember that mocking! I even have an "encouragement" note that says something like "If we were allowed to court, I would so court you!" Tsk, tsk!<BR/><BR/>Dave: I'm not sure if a no courting rule is always the easiest route to go. If you have it you may have people who fight it. If you don't have it you may have people who abuse the freedom. Either way, serious work is involved by the leadership and staff. I do hear what you are saying about the freedom aspect though - it is uncomfortable to seem like you are denying it to people (even hormonal teenagers). Of course staff choose to put themselves under it, so I guess you could say they have made a choice. To choose to willing put oneself under rules and then complain bitterly about them is kind of amusing to me . . . <BR/><BR/>Krista: Good point. Teens will rebel against what they consider injustice. Of course that doesn't determine whether what they rebel against is injust or not. <BR/><BR/>These thoughts are a response to Jay's response (and the comments it elicited) at jayboaz.blogspot.com.<BR/><BR/>Regarding previously dating couples coming to camp: I have to admit that I chuckled reading everyone's comments. You see, contrary to some opinions there were NO rules against spending time together with someone you are dating at camp. This means there were no set rules:<BR/>1. against spending time with the person you are going out with<BR/>2. about forgetting about serious relationship while there.<BR/>3. about acting like you aren't dating someone<BR/><BR/>I hate to break it to people, but none of these "rules" were rules at all. They are more like assumptions that people made because of the courting (no starting new exclusive relationships) while at camp. Did we ever suggest dating couples focus on their campers and not on their dating partner? Or was it mentioned to try thinking about camp like you weren't dating so as not to distract the campers? Sure, but these were suggestions and never enforced. There were no rules against such things. Perhaps things are different today, but the courting rule was only for those wanting to start something with someone. I don't think I spoke to someone in an established relationship about their time together more then once or twice in my time at camp (and it was only because their campers were being ignored, something I would do with any counselor). Honestly it wasn't really an issue. If people were worried they were being watched it was probably mostly their imagination. Seriously!<BR/><BR/>So here's how I handled the dating issue (which was rare as we actually didn't have many dating couples at camp during our time) - everything was case by case. Lots of factors to consider when a couple came to us requesting we allow time in the schedule to be together - time at camp (1 week vs 5), length of relationship, spiritual maturity, how well I knew them, my knowledge of their physical relationship, etc. <BR/><BR/>The mature couples who came to us and said "Hey, can we have time together?" and we would make our decision on how much time based on the above factors. Very rarely were there occasions that we felt uneasy about a couple spending some time together (If such a couple were both only there for one week, we might not schedule their skills off together but that was very rare). Usually if we didn't schedule a couple's skill periods off together it was because we forgot or we needed one or both of them to fill certain spots. Almost every time it was requested we allowed it (with the usual cautions about neglecting time for rest/socializing with other team members/Godtime as well as being out of sight). Maybe I've forgotten some incidents but I was never really concerned about dating couples unless I knew they were struggling physically - and even that was quite rare.<BR/><BR/>There you go, the mysteries of camp dating are laid bare! Hopefully that will clear up some misconceptions?Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15292824227963056711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-269648634709183279.post-15328568738209667052008-11-18T18:37:00.000-08:002008-11-18T18:37:00.000-08:00Hmmm... I met my first boyfriend at Beaver Creek.....Hmmm... I met my first boyfriend at Beaver Creek.... but we know that's not who I married. <BR/><BR/>While I think that the concept in and of itself is right, the innate pull within the teenage mind (the majority of the counseling staff)is to ignore any rule that one finds unnecessary.Krista Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06922976338390791653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-269648634709183279.post-79800721945712195112008-11-18T09:18:00.000-08:002008-11-18T09:18:00.000-08:00There a part of me (maybe most of me that agrees) ...There a part of me (maybe most of me that agrees) and as a leader I see that as the easiest possible scenario to make things go smoothly...<BR/><BR/>but then I think... there are SO MANY Christians who desperately want to find something with a like mind and a like spirit and it's so hard to find... that it might be short sighted just to say no.Dave Carrolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12138953216264463289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-269648634709183279.post-73163375261338159602008-11-18T07:26:00.000-08:002008-11-18T07:26:00.000-08:00My reply was getting really long so see my blog fo...My reply was getting really long so see my blog for my response to this article!<BR/><BR/>I do remember that as part of 5 week staff one year we were having a little too much fun with courting and inbreeding jokes...we also turned the Encouragement Box into the Courting Box and filled it with fake courting notes one day...good times!Jay Boazhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14499002361030996927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-269648634709183279.post-78344189483798705022008-11-18T05:16:00.000-08:002008-11-18T05:16:00.000-08:00i laughed out loud. not a mocking laugh, but this ...i laughed out loud. not a mocking laugh, but this understanding kind that said 'i can just hear mark saying these exact words'...<BR/><BR/>LifeFORCE's rule #5 is similar and just as valid. i totally agree with a non-courting rule in such situations. it is not just better for the campers, but for the 2 staff members themselves..https://www.blogger.com/profile/10818975718170447111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-269648634709183279.post-80950782575456209212008-11-17T21:23:00.000-08:002008-11-17T21:23:00.000-08:00I completely agree with you!! camp is for the camp...I completely agree with you!! camp is for the campers. and thats that!! there should be no reason on the staff's part for a camper to miss out on his/her opportunity to be loved, given attention and learn about a loving Father.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-269648634709183279.post-2289511592249330502008-11-17T20:51:00.000-08:002008-11-17T20:51:00.000-08:00i was chuckling the whole time as i read this beca...i was chuckling the whole time as i read this because its so true.<BR/>no courting at camp is a smart rule. i wish as a teenager you could switch hormones off for periods of time so these rules wouldnt be so hard to followChadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12685993411418288627noreply@blogger.com