Random Enlightenment

Ten Guys & 10 Days in Haiti

2012-01-07T19:36:00.000-08:00

So this is kind of exciting: On February 17th I'm going to Haiti with a Samaritan's Purse Haiti workteam. It is an all guy group from my church and we're going to an area of great needs where we will do things like help build an orphanage, love the people, and basically just grow God's kingdom in whatever way we can.

I don't want to sensationalize that I'm going and I really don't want to sound super spiritual. I just want to be real about it so here's my attempt.

There is a great guy in my church, Dan who along with his family have done mission work in many countries. Jobina went to Ecuador to visit these folks and do ministry with them this past spring and had an amazing experience. So when Dan said he was leading a trip to Haiti I thought about it for awhile and came up with a nice long list lot of reasons why it couldn't work for me. But I just wasn't at peace. I decided to take a step of faith and say yes . . . and now I have to get some shots.

Me and Mission's trips have never worked out - I never even thought about one until I went to Bible College. There I got the missions bug but every time I've tried to go on one something didn't work out. Once I tried to sign up for a trip to Cambodia, but the team fell apart. Another time I tried to do a summer with Child Evangelism Fellowship, but for some reason after aggressively recruiting me, they just ignored my application. Perhaps it was because God wanted me at summer camp (which is where I went after these failed attempts)? Either way I've never gone on one until now.

Haiti is still deep in recovery from the terrible earthquake that struck in 2010. 220,000 people died, 300,000+ people were injured, and 1.5 million people became homeless. Samaritan's purse has done some great work there and we are honored to join them. If this sounds interesting to you and you'd like to partner with me and the team there's a few ways:

1. Please pray for me! Send me and email (or keep watching this blog) and I'll post some specifics that we'd love to have covered in prayer.

2. Come to our party! We're having an Information and Fundraiser Dessert Evening at my church on January 21st (7pm at Cornerstone Alliance Church in Winnipeg). We'll tell you all about the trip and there will be amazing desserts and auction (there will be a silent auction too). It would be great if you could attend or if you'd like to donate something for the auction that would be most appreciated. Please let me know by Jan 15th if you'd like to go and we'll reserve a place for you.

3. Share your wisdom! If you've been on a short term mission trip and you have some wise words or advice to share about going on one, please do. I can use all the help I can get (seriously).

Thanks for reading this and I wish you a great day,
-Mark

P.S. A video with more info about what's happened in Haiti and what God is doing there:

I'm Back...

2012-01-03T20:12:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to you! If in the past you've been a regular reader of this blog you may have noticed that things have (ahem) been a little quiet around here for awhile. Somehow I lost my taste for this kind of thing. Partially it was the increase in my workload at Riverbend, I simply didn't have as much free time on my hands. But it was also because I felt humbled in several areas of my life and didn't feel the same about putting things out there. As days of no blogging stretched into weeks I began to get reflective on what was holding be back.

It's weird, but after not posting for awhile, I felt . . . strange whenever I would consider it. As I perused my past posts I started to not like the kind of person I was sounding like in my posts. "The tone is key" I always say to my marriage counselling clients and when I listened to the tone of many of my posts I didn't like it very much. Too much that sounded like arrogance and not enough like humility. I decided I needed to take a break long enough to leave my old expectations and ways of interacting in a blog behind. So I went cold turkey.

I'm not sure what's changed (or even if it's enough) but I now feel a little more freedom when I think about it. It's a new year, a great time for new starts. So now I'd like to slowly wade back into the blogging waters, but do so with a little more self-awareness. I guess we'll see what happens . . .

Au Revoir Steve

2011-10-06T14:04:00.001-07:00

Shifted

2011-07-28T21:27:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks have been a bit challenging around our house. A few week ago we put in a bid on a house with more bedrooms and actually won the bidding war. Amazing. After the jubilation ended we were left with trying to figure out how to sell our house - shall we go private sale or a realtor? Recently the realtors have been forced to open up the MLS so we decided to try and sell privately on the MLS with a flat fee broker. It's much cheaper, but more work. The thing is that we only have a week or so to sell the property and so it's been a bit stressful doing the cleaning, moving stuff out, redecorating, fixing, babysitting the kids, etc. This weekend is our open house (Sunday 1-3) with offers to purchase the following Tuesday. Jobina and I have both felt quite overwhelmed sometimes (OK, I have felt overwhelmed) with business and worry and when I hit that place I start to lose my perspective on what is really important.

Then I saw this yesterday.

Seeing those pictures dumbfounded me. I felt intense grief, grief that children have to suffer like that and are suffering like. I also felt incredulous that a few moments ago I had been worrying about how much money I was going to be able to get for my house when there are literally millions of people who are worrying about if they are going to have enough food to feed their children. Suddenly reality (and God's reality) got through to me for a moment. All I wanted to do was something to help. All my internal worrying and whining about not having enough was shown for what it is - stupidity. I am blessed to have more then I'll ever need.

There is massive famine in Africa right now. But there are people trying to do something about it. I saw an add this morning for Samaritan's Purse who is doing relief work in the drought stricken areas of Africa. Check out some of the details here. And the Canadian government is doing something cool - matching any donations for Africa given to Samaritan's Purse, if it is given before September 12th. Feel free to donate at this link. If you feel lead to give something I know you won't regret it. And please pray for those who are suffering!

Reason: Stop Babying Your Kids!

2011-05-22T20:40:00.000-07:00

Perhaps our desire to protect our children has gone too far - this is the premise of the book and blog "Free Range Kids" whose author espouses a more "hands off" approach to parenting then many of us our used to. It is difficult for us to realize that the way we protect our kids (yes, I'm talking to you helicopter Mom) is simply based on our beliefs about kids/the world, and not on fact. Check out how resourceful kids are in areas of the world that do not have the luxuries that we do:

And I was excited when our kids could get their own cereal in the morning!

Surprising

2011-05-06T12:38:00.000-07:00

You've heard of the horse whisperer, the baby whisperer, and the dog whisperer. And now for something completely unexpected. Check out this video for something beautiful and paradigm shifting:

Working on My 4 Hour Body

2011-04-30T14:07:00.001-07:00

As I mentioned previously (in this post) I have been reading through The 4 Hour Body by Tim Ferris. Definitely a fascinating book. As a fan of experimentation, I asked Jobina if she would like to try doing the 4 Hour Body fat burning diet for a month to see how it goes. I actually have been experimenting with parts of it already (between that and the death diet, I have already lost 10-15 pounds) but I want to see if I can lose 5 or 10 more. Essentially I'm curious and I want assist Jobina with her own goals. This plan is actually quite simple:

1. Avoid "white" carbs
2. Eat the same few meals over and over again
3. Don't drink calories
4. Take one day off per week (yes, a cheat day)

Yes, that's it.

This of course is only the beginning, in addition to this I plan to use other powerful techniques the author has tested including:

-daily track my total inches, body fat, and weight
-use thermal loading/cold techniques to quicken my metabolism (ex/ ice water on awaking)
-take a photo of everything I eat and post it on weight loss blog
-use social awareness to increase adherence (public blog charting progress & bets with friends)
-take an unflattering "before" picture and put it in a prominent place
-when I get mid-week cravings, write down the foods I crave and plan/look forward to eating them on my cheat day

Most of the above techniques are psychological and have been proven by research to assist people in their goals. Tracking your progress is by itself sometimes enough to help people lose significant weight. I am 100% convinced that if I follow through on my plan I will lose the weight, possibly all within a month or two. I invite you to visit my experiment blog (here) to ask questions, shout slogans at me, tell me I'm out to lunch, or just say you've stopped by. Please do, it will help me out! After I lose the weight, I plan to experiment with Ferris' other techniques for gaining strength, adding muscle, and increasing endurance. . .

Short Book Reviews

2011-04-30T13:05:00.000-07:00

Well, I just finished my busiest month ever counselling wise and my schedule is starting to slow down now. Although I haven't been blogging I have still been thinking, reading, and reflecting (when I have the time!) and here are a few books I've read since the start of the year:

Mark of The Lion Series by Francine Rivers: This trilogy of books is written by often maligned (especially by myself) author Francine Rivers. While lower on the expected romance then I was gritting my teeth for, it was high on sex - shockingly so. Not in graphic detail, but definitely on subject matter. Of course the books are set in ancient Rome shortly after the death of Christ so most of it is understandable. Yet even so I found myself unsettled by it. Perhaps it was the author's intent? I would describe it as Danielle Steele meets Stephen Lawhead, "Gladiator" meets "Acts." I had lost a bet with Jobina so I had to read half of the 1st book but after 4 chapters I was hooked and read them all. I was actually very moved in my spirit with the stories of faith. I rate these books "R" for content and A+ for readability, 4 ninja stars out of 5.

Too Small To Ignore by Wes Stafford: Jobina's friend Lee (who she recently went to Ecuador) lent me this book and it pretty much rocked my world. Wow! It is the best book on the importance of children I have ever read. Stafford is the founder of Compassion International and so it's not surprising that he cares about children. How much though, and why - now that is surprising. Stafford shares with much vulnerability and honesty how his growing up years in Africa shaped him and how God used his painful experiences to develop a super passion for children the world over. Excellent book whether you read it is as a biography or as a treatise on the importance of ministry to children. I rate this 4.6 ninja stars out of 5.

Multiple Streams of Income by Robert G. Allen: I picked this up at my local library and have renewed it twice. This is a great overview of several different streams of income (stock investing, real estate, network marketing, business, internet, etc) that is essential reading for anyone interested in finances. Though a little outdated and a little weighted toward American readers, I learned alot. His view of balancing the different kinds of income is actually done in a conservative way and I think even the most picky person could find at least one form of wealth growing that work for them and their family. If you go to Allen's personal website, you can actually email him for a free copy of his book. I rate it 3.8 ninja stars out of 5.

How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie: This is a classic of American literature and while it is over 75 years old, it's truths are completely applicable today. Carnegie shares the simple but often forgotten truths that help us out in human relationships. This book is about how to influence people in powerful ways, not by control or power but by creativity and patience. Some might see his techniques as manipulations but I didn't take them way. It's funny, 10 years ago I would never have been able to accept many of these principles but Carnegie uses stories to illustrate their power and effectiveness in every day life, especially in business. The principles aren't perfect, but useful to anyone in a significant relationship. I've already recommended this book to several of my clients. I give it a rating of 4.5 ninja stars out of 5.

Busy

2011-04-11T14:48:00.000-07:00

“Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing.”
-Lao Tzu

Sorry I haven't done any updates in the past while - my practice has suddenly gotten very busy and I'm working to adjust to my newly full schedule. While this change of pace is welcome it is also somewhat disconcerting. Lately I find myself saying to people how busy I am. Important people including friends, my kids, parents, etc. At first glance being busy seems like a good thing, does it not? After a little reflection I'm not so sure.

Being busy and being productive are not the same same thing. Neither is busy the same as being happy, joyful, content, or fulfilled.

I am thinking that having a full schedule and being busy are often two very different things. When I read the story of Mary and Martha, I get the sense that Martha was busy and Mary was not. Yet both had a full schedule. Learning to choose Mary's way vs Martha's is challenging to me. Being slothful is not good, but neither is being over busy.

A Deep Question

2011-03-28T17:34:00.000-07:00

At my small group I kind have a "question of the day" to get us thinking and discussing. Last week the question was "Which of the 7 deadly sins do you find the most difficult to resist and which are the easiest?" Like me, the questions are kind of random and are usually tied to whatever I'm thinking about lately. So here's a question I've been thinking about lately:

If a spouse denies their partner sexual intimacy for an extended period of time, is this a form of unfaithfulness?

Just curious what you think . . .

She Left Me!

2011-03-26T18:58:00.000-07:00

Yes, my wife left me.

For Ecuador.

Jobina is doing a self propelled missions trip to Quito, Ecuador with her friend Lee. The two of them are delivering supplies to a pregnancy crisis center that is in the start up phase and is being started up by a couple from our church. Jobina is going to have a very full week of holding babies, visiting orphanages, encouraging her hosts, singing in prison, and helping out at a daycare that's situated in a dump. Luckily my wonderful mother in law is staying with us to help out on the homefront (which is awesome!) but I have a few prayer requests for Jobina if you think of her this week:

-pray for her not to get altitude sickness (Quito is 10,000 feet above sea level!)
-pray for safety in travel to/from/and in Ecuador
-pray for the ability to connect with babies, children, and mothers from a different culture and language and show them God's love

Also, feel free to pray for those who are left behind. I'm very proud of my adventurous wife and I hope that God really challenges and blesses her!

Above All Else . . .

2011-03-25T11:19:00.000-07:00

I have been reflecting on these words the past week:

20 My son, pay attention to what I say;
listen closely to my words.
21 Do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;
22 for they are life to those who find them
and health to a man’s whole body.
23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
24 Put away perversity from your mouth;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead,
fix your gaze directly before you.
26 Make level paths for your feet
and take only ways that are firm.
27 Do not swerve to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.

Thia is wise counsel for any young man, and even "older young men" like myself. I find that by focusing on this daily passage for awhile that my thoughts and habits are altered. What scripture have you been reflecting on lately?

Places To Visit: Nyiragongo Crater

2011-03-20T18:22:00.000-07:00

When I saw this picture it redefined to me what "a campsite with a view" could mean:

Isn't that amazing? The rapidly changing lava lake at the bottom of Nyiragongo Crater is located in the Congo, Africa. It is actually an incredibly dangerous place to visit - the crater has occasionally overflowed with lava and destroyed nearby villages. Until the expedition where this photo was taken happened, no one had survived going down close to boundary of the lava. The winds can quickly change sending 1300 degree heat and/or poisonous gases your way which can quickly be fatal.

By the way, the picture above is a bit deceiving; the surface of the lava is still about 400 feet down. If you want to see more pictures and see how close this brave scientific expedition made it to the lava, check out this link:

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2011/02/nyiragongo_crater_journey_to_t.html

The pictures are really quite extraordinary - they are equally beautiful, mysterious, and kind of scary!

Delicious Library

2011-03-18T03:41:00.000-07:00

If you own a Mac (sorry PC users your out of luck as there is no PC version), you may want to check out this great little program called Delicious Library 2. Using your built in iSight camera as a bar reader, it can scan the UPC codes on any book and automatically enter it into your personal library. Besides the surprising fun of simply scanning and adding books, I find the program to be useful for several reasons:

1. You can in not only books but DVD's, music, toys, video games, tools, etc.
2. Want to borrow out a cool book to a friend? Easy, you can do it just like a real library. I wish I had stumbled on this years ago as I have so many outstanding books (with no way to track them) that it's not even funny!
3. You can make a back up of your library (great for insurance purposes) or post it to the internet for others to take a look at.
4. You can look at your library as a list, or in a bookshelf mode that is pleasing the eye.
5. For older or rare books you can input the book info manually and even take a picture of it.

I really love this program as scanning and looking at all of my books made me aware of (and interested in) some old books that I had forgotten I had. I'm thinking next year I'll make it a goal to read mostly books from my own collection (over 300 books). Anyway, thought I'd highlight this great little program (available for $39 on the Mac App Store) or from the Delicious Monster website.

Book Preview: The Four Hour Body

2011-03-16T08:14:00.000-07:00

I'm currently reading "The 4 Hour Body" by Tim Ferris, the author of the bestselling "The 4 Hour Work Week." I'm absolutely fascinated with this book, so much so that I'm making notes on it as I go through it. It is a rather unorthodox approach to body hacking and has "how to" ideas on things like:

-rapid muscle gain
-fast weight loss
-strength building quickly
-improving your sex life (and sperm count!)
-being fully rested on 2 hours of sleep
-living longer
-increasing your endurance to ultramarathoner levels
etc,

Check out his web page www.fourhourbody.com for more details. And here is the rather unique trailer for his book:

P.S. Warning: this book is not written by a Christian and some people would find his writing style and some content objectionable.

"Both!"

2011-03-03T07:05:00.000-08:00

My wife asked my daughter this morning "So, when you grow up are you going to be a great chef in a restaurant or a great cook for your family?" Trinity thought for a moment, smiled, and said "Both!"

I love her answer.

Too often I am the victim of what I call "either/or" thinking. Either/or thinking is when you feel like you can only have one thing or the other - not both. So you settle. For instance we sometimes feel like we have to choose:

-Your spouse's dreams OR your dreams.
-Financial security OR a job that I enjoy.
-The acceptance of others OR standing up for what you believe.
-An exciting sex life OR life long monogamy.
-Sacrificial servanthood OR ministry we enjoy.

Much of the time I believe we have too little vision, too little faith too see that surprisingly you can sometimes really have your cake and eat it too. It just takes creativity, perseverance, and the belief that maybe, just maybe you can have and accomplish two noble things that at first seem incompatible with each other. It's not always possible, but I believe that for most of us we often miss the possibilities simply because we don't believe they could exist. These kind of "can I have my cake and eat it too?" problems are great to help us test our creativity and practice finding solutions to things. And they reveal much about our personality.

Of course, many people con others by tapping into their desire to have naturally conflicting things ("get rich with no work" is one that comes to mind) so it is still necessary to be discerning and wise. But too often we go to the other extreme: intellectual closed to possibilities. I kind of think of it on a scale:

<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------>

Gullible ................................................. CREATIVE & ......................................Sceptical & Must
& Naive......................................... OPEN TO POSSIBILITY ............................... see to believe
(Too open) ...................................... (open but discerning) ............... (closed to most possibilities)

Where do you think you are on my little scale? This scale is a work in progress (feel free to suggest changes) but basically I want to be somewhere in the middle. Open, discerning, and challenged to find ways to make the seemingly impossible or incompatible work.

The Power Of Illusions

2011-03-01T16:07:00.000-08:00

Illusions are funny things. They seem so real that you begin to accept them as reality. But reality is real, not illusion.

I don't know about you, but when I watch a magic show I don't want to know how they did it - I want to believe in the illusion. But with people, in relationships, these illusions can be incredibly destructive. Like the illusion that we can (or should) be able to control people. The reality is that we can't.

By the way, did you catch any of the sleight of hand in this video?

Book Fasting

2011-02-28T17:12:00.001-08:00

Well it's been an interesting month.

In "The 4 Hour Work Week" author Tim Ferris talks about how for some people they read too much. For such people, reading becomes a distraction that dilutes their knowledge and stops them from applying. Considering my last year's goal was to read a book a week, this idea intrigued me. Am I reading too much? Would it be helpful to take a break? Perhaps I could really increase my productivity towards achieving the important goals in my life. I played with the idea a bit and decided to try it for the month of February. As today is the final day, it strikes me that my experience has been eerily similar to the first time I tried fasting from food.

During my first year of Bible College my friend Jason and I tried experimenting with fasting. It was pretty pathetic. We decided to fast for a day or two (I can't remember exactly) but we spent the whole time complaining to each other how hungry we were. Not only that but we fantasized on what we would eat - dreaming of the food we would happily ingest as soon as the fast was done. We went from fast food to buffets to massive self cooked feasts. Finally, as the hour was drawing near we decided to go simple - we'd go to the local grocery store and buy some canned pasta and stew and "gently" reaquaint our systems to the food. We counted down the hours, went to the store and bought several cans of food and went back to our dorm. There we joyfully broke our fast and then proceeded to eat way too much processed food, way too fast. We both felt sick. As for the spiritual fruit of the exercise? Not much! We spent the whole time focusing on what we didn't have, not on what we wanted (closeness with God).

During my book fast month I started out well, but then began to dream (literally) of being able to read books again. I also cheated, twice people caught me reading a book here and there (both times I had just picked up the book and without thinking started reading - doh!). I also started telling people about my fast - telling people about your fasting is of course a big no-no in the world of spiritual disciplines. Not content with these things, I then began to distract myself with other things - instead of reading books, I watched a little more TV and did a lot more surfing. Fasting from something and then replacing it with other, non-productive things isn't very helpful. Lastly, as the last few days came upon me, I remembered that I had some chapters.ca gift cards and so I began dreaming about what books I would buy with them - and then I made an order for 6 books! It's like gorging myself after fast except for instead of food, it's on reading. Yikes.

Now I could beat myself up for my lack of progress with this book fast experiment, but I can't help but smile thinking about how my first food fast went and the similarities to this one. The truth was that I learned alot about myself by "failing" with that first fast and I think I learned some great things this time as well. I think it is never failure if you learn something important through an experience. I think I'll do it again next February but I will prepare myself better for distractions, keep it private, and prepare myself in advance for the temptation to start thinking about books right til the very end. I did experience a small increase in productivity this month and I'll aim to increase it for next year. But I will do it a lot more humbly.

2011 Goals

2011-02-15T20:11:00.000-08:00

"A goal without a plan is just a wish." - Antoine de Saint - Exupery

After much thinking, some discussion, and some prayer, here are my goals (if the Lord wills it) for the year:

2011 Goals

As a Christ follower
-Verbally (out loud) submit myself to God daily, every part of me
-Pour myself out serving God and others, investing in their lives
-Using my money, time, and resources store up treasure in heaven
-Spend quality time with God twice daily
-Invite someone to church
-Pray weekly for family, friends, clients
-Do at least one 24 hour Solo retreat (scheduled)
-Set aside some extra giving money for missionaries/compassionate needs
-Reboot confession/accountability with an old friend

As a husband
-One Date every month with Jobina (scheduled)
-One weekend getaway with Jobina (scheduled)
-10 hours/week quality time, meeting our most important emotional needs
-No screens in the bedroom, ever
-Set Up specific boundaries around computer/TV/reading time

As a father/family leader
-Family vacation (scheduled)
-Go down to a maximum three nights a week by end of March
-1 overnight get away with each of my kids (scheduled)
-Minimum 1 hour a week quality time with each of my kids
-2 “dates” with each of my older kids during the year (scheduled)
-4 family day excursions per year (scheduled)
-Rethink how we celebrate Christmas, make own traditions

In terms of my physical health
-Get to bed by 11, 5 days a week
-Minimum once a week aerobic activity (scheduled)
-Purchase winter exercise equipment (ex/ rollers or skis)
-Purchase bike rack for van
-Reduce my caloric intake by at least 20%

As an adventurer
-Two Weekend Adventures (scheduled)
-One day solo adventure (scheduled)

In terms of my financial health
-Do Pay Yourself First (every month) and invest it
-Make 50% on my stock investing
-Make an extra $1000 a month income

In terms of professional/personal development
-Transition to checking email twice a day (a la Tim Ferris)
-Notes: Summaries, next session planning
-Learn Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy

I found it hard to come up with specifics for my spiritual goals, so I'm just going to rate each on a scale of 1 to 10 now and then compare near the end of the year where I rate them then. My theme is "doing what works" so most of what I'm aiming to achieve I've already done for short periods of time or I've done as an experiment but quit for some reason. A good example of this is scheduling - I find I get way more of what I want to do when I simply schedule it on my calendar. I'm finding my goal setting is becoming more of personal journey, but I post them here to give myself incentive to not forget about them as I will report on them at the end of the year.

It's past January, so I feel I can realistically finalize these goals after the cold, hard realities of life have supplanted the giddiness of New Year's. Here's hoping I'll have a meaningful and productive year (and I wish the same for you!)

Getting Away

2011-02-09T07:23:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I had a great get-a-way. Myself and two other guys went up to Pinawa for a combination XC-Ski adventure and personal retreat. I came back feeling. . . refreshed.

The trails at Pinawa are top-notch and they obviously have a very dedicated ski organization there as the trails were so well laid out and maintained. The warming huts on the trails were really nice log cabins which were very inviting. The first night we got to Pinawa we went for a night ski. This is where I found out that 1. I had forgotten how to descend on XC skis (with spectacular results) and that 2. one of my ski bindings was broken. Still had a good time though. The next day we we spent our morning and evenings doing solitude stuff but did some amazing skiing (me with a new set of skis) in the afternoon. I'm pretty out of shape so by the end I was tired and had done some pretty amazing crashes (the other guys took turns skiing behind me so they could witness these things) but it was still tons of fun. It's taken me til today for my body to not to feel in constant pain but that's OK because I consider that kind of pain to be a good kind!

We stayed at Wilderness Edge Resort in downtown Pinawa. This is an old, massive AECL dorm that has been converted into a group use facility. It was very cheap. We got a great deal on a 2 bedroom suite and had all of our meals taken care of (including a pig roast on Saturday night that was absolutely amazing). I would say we were quite coddled there but the time not preparing meals meant we could put more time into skiing and solo reflection times. I don't recommend the complimentary skis at this resort - many of them were damaged and it was hard to find a decent pair. Next time I go here I will rent skis in Winnipeg.

One of the guy's core values is hot tubbing so we spent a lot of time doing that - at least once a day. What I found interesting was how much time we spent talking. We talked about God, relationships, personal growth, giving, psychology, church, finances, child-rearing - almost everything. We must have spent at least 8 hours in deep discussion about all sorts of things and everyone ended up sharing really cool things. I definitely learned alot. Every night we were up past 2am talking about really fascinating stuff. That alone was probably worth the entire weekend - never mind the exercise and personal time with God (which were very good).

I also spent some of my time refining personal goals for the year. I will post these at a later date.

Yup, it was a great weekend. I definitely feel different coming back. Sometimes I need to get away from my regular life for awhile. It helps me remember what is really important: God, my family, ministering to others, taking care of myself, and growing. One of my core values is exploring and so this need gets met as well. We plan to keep on doing it at least once a year (this is the 3rd or 4th year and other men are always welcome. Let me know if you'd like to be contacted with the details. The more the merrier.

Death Prayers

2011-02-07T19:37:00.000-08:00

I was talking with a friend the other day and they confided me that they, and their family, had been praying for the death of a loved one. I had never really thought about this unique prayer before. It was a little unsettling.

My friend's family was praying for the death of someone with terminal disease and who was in a great deal of pain. Not being able to handle their suffering, the family prayed that God would take this person home. It made me think - Have I ever prayed that someone would die before? I don't think so.

The Bible has people praying for death - of themselves and their enemies. Job prayed for death sometimes and David prayed that God would kill his oppressors. Perhaps there are other examples? I can think of a few different reasons you might pray for someone's death.

1. Compassion at someone's suffering.
2. Justice for a great wrong.
3. As permanent protection from an abuser.
4. For revenge.

Can you think of any others? And have you prayed for someone to die before?

Have you every prayed someone would die before?online survey

Fitness Craze Madness!

2011-02-02T19:44:00.000-08:00

Warning: This Post May Contain Trace Amounts of Ranting and Sarcasm

This Sunday we were heading back from Church in the van. Jobina mentioned yet another person she knows who was enjoying her Zumba class. Zumba, in case you didn't know it, is the latest fitness craze. How do I know? Because everyone is talking about it of course! And because they are leaving behind their old fitness crazes to do it. I will be the first to admit that I know nothing about Zumba but I find the slogan on their web site compelling:

"Ditch the Workout, Join The Party!"

If you go to their website you can see from the pictures that the people are very, very happy. Perhaps they are just having a party and noticed that they were getting fit? I'd be happy too!

When the kids asked what Zumba was I explained it like this; it is the latest fitness craze. Every 6-12 months a new craze comes out and everyone abandons the past craze to take on the newer, shinier one. Then people stay in it for awhile, gushing to all of their friends how they have lost a few pounds and are having so much fun. You have to try it, they say. Then you buy the DVD or join a class. After a few weeks (a couple of months if you are serious about working out) most people stop working out all together. They remain quiet and look at the floor when people ask them how their ________ class is going. Sadness and depression sometimes sink in. Then, just when it appears to be too late, the next fitness craze comes around the corner. Thank goodness! Everyone is saved! Then the cycle repeats itself . . .

My theory is that fitness crazes will continue to be successful (but with short shelf lives) because they do two things. First, they promise a way to make exercise fun again that is very compelling. Our human nature that craves creativity and variety will find almost all exercise to be repetitive rather quickly and so we jump at the chance for something new. It's like crack cocaine to us. Secondly, fitness crazes usually appeal to our sense of laziness. We want to be fit without putting in too much time, effort, and sweat. Thus, each craze suggests that their way is the most efficient way to get fit quickly and with minimal effort. "Only 12 minutes a day!" "Workout while you watch TV!" "Easier then getting up!" (OK, I made that last one up, but you get the idea).

The problem is that exercise is tough. It takes something called discipline, it requires work, it hurts, and even with creativity it is very, very repetitive. Nothing will change that. Even Zumba is little match for reality. The people who do well with fitness crazes are the ones who possess the discipline, work ethic, time, and willingness to suffer that all people who eventually get in shape have. The rest end up with a closet full of fitness DVD's for things like Tae-Bo, Military Boot Camps, P-90X, Pilates, Wii Fit, Pole Dancing, Richard Simmons, Belly Dancing, etc. that mostly gather dust.

Personally, I could try and fight against the fitness craze but I'm too canny for that. Instead I introduce to you the newest fitness craze:

COLD YOGA (TM) !!!

Cold Yoga was developed either in the frozen wilds of Siberia or by elves at the North Pole (whichever seems to better received by focus groups). It's based on the fact that people like Yoga (and that Hot Yoga is already being replaced by Zumba which is yesterday's news) and . . . science. Yes, powerful science! Research has proven that if you stay for extended periods of time in very cold temperatures you will definitely lose weight! In fact, people who go winter camping, for instance, can't actually gain weight, their bodies burn it off too quickly no matter what they eat. Cold Yoga consists of you doing Yoga outside in the snow and in extremely frigid conditions. And it's soooooo fun!! Sometimes people will even throw snowballs at each other and stuff. And go ahead and eat whatever since your body will metabolize things as you battle frostbite. The pounds practically melt off! Look for official DVD series "COLD YOGA: Stop being warm, start being fit" at a retailer near you. Or look for classes at your local fitness studio, equipped with artificial snow, -20 temperatures, and branded ear muffs. Tell your friends!

Control Freak

2011-01-28T08:07:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when I'm meeting with people they will tell me that their significant other (or kids) has told them they're a controller (or a control freak). Often they can't believe it - how could they say such a thing? Most people see themselves as caring very much for these people and they can't understand how their loved ones could see them this way. Perhaps you've had these labels applied to you?

When clients share this with me I like to help them to test if they are guilty of controlling or not. First of all, I help define controlling for them:

Controlling - using control behaviors.

Control behaviors - behaviors which are used to influence someone else's decision making, but in a way that does not respect their right to choose their own destiny (or without accepting the person's freedom to say no.) Control behaviors include demanding, angry outbursts, manipulating, guilting, pressuring, nagging, lecturing, bribing to control, silent treatment/withdrawing to control, etc.

Whenever we use these behaviors, not recognizing other people's rights to say no/choose their own actions, we are trying to control them. If we try to get them to change without controlling, it is influencing. People ALWAYS resent control behaviors. It is built into our DNA, we resist other people not respecting our freedom. When we trying to control others we damage our relationships with them, build resentment, and act in an unloving way towards them (control and love cannot go together). Because people make their own choices anyway (even if they feel controlled, they still choose their actions), control is always an illusion. You can't control anyway, so why try?

God doesn't control us . . . because he loves us. Control and love cannot co-exist. You can only control yourself (and that's really tough). We think controlling actions work but they don't. We may have someone go along with us in body, but not in their heart. And of course it's the heart that matters in the long run.

One of my clients has begun using this info on control at work (where he is a supervisor) and it is transforming his life. It's remarkable actually. He's way less stressed (and angry), has won the respect of his co-workers, and is teaching others. He's a recovering controller. Like me! My favorite control behavior to use was manipulation (makes sense coming from a counselor right?) but I've used them all. I pass on this info to others because it was very helpful for me. I'm definitely not perfect, but I'm recovering slowly. How about you?

Getting Away

2011-01-26T13:28:00.000-08:00

"Good for the body is the work of the body, good for the soul the work of the soul, and good for either the work of the other."
-Henry David Thoreau

One of my goals for this year is going to be to get away at least twice to do some reflection and spend time with God. Another goal is going to be to do 2 outdoor adventures. On the 4th and 5th of February it looks like I will be able to do both! I'm planning on getting together with two other guys and going up to Pinawa for some monastic stuff, some hanging out with other guys stuff, and some XC skiing. Good for the soul, good for the body. I very much need it! We have some extra space available so if you know me and would like to come along, feel free to email me for the details!

Pausing

2011-01-22T14:33:00.000-08:00

Today I took my kids to the library. It felt different, usually when I'm in the library I like to take out several books but today I just couldn't bring myself to take out even one. I think it's a mixture of things.

In The 4 Hour Work Week (an extremely radical book), the author Tim Ferris theorized that one of the reasons people aren't more productive or more successful (even possibly less happy) is because they read too much. Yes, that's right too much! His thinking is that we waste alot of time reading about things that aren't really helpful or that we won't ever apply and so we read too much. That's a pretty simplistic summary of his argument, but it got me thinking. Is it possible I read too much?

Ferris challenged people to try fasting for a month or two from reading books, newspapers, and magazines and see how productivity increases. This is just the kind of radical experiment that I would like to try. I'm kind of trying this but I'm not doing well (so far I've read three books of fiction). But the idea of fasting from reading feels like something that might be helpful for me for a season. So this is one factor that has kept me from actively searching for books to read.

The second thing is that the books I have read so far have impacted me in wanting to move closer to Christ. I suppose God used them (along with other things) and I have enjoyed feeling more appreciative and humbled before Him. The closer I feel to Him, the less I feel like reading (Christian and secular books). And if I do read, it feels different. I find myself reflective and searching and trying to enjoy being with God as opposed to learning about him. When I'm in this mode I find that even when I'm reading the Bible I limit how much I'll read in a sitting.

The third reason I find myself pausing in my reading is that I learned so much last year with my "book a week" program that I feel like I need to time to reflect and then take action. In some ways it was like trying to drink from a fire hose. This causes me to see new books as something for the future, after I've implemented what I've already learned.

All of this to say, that I'm feeling a desire to pause in my reading of books. Kind of.

5 Ways To Find Investing Money

2011-01-17T14:55:00.000-08:00

"Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again."
– Ecclesiastes 11:1

Saving is good, but I've heard it said that saving money makes losers of us all. How you ask? Because saving money usually ends up in you losing money, just not as fast as spending it. Let’s say you are making 2% a year in a savings account. If you realize that you will be taxed a significant percentage of that and that inflation will increase faster then your interest rate you’ll see that you are actually making minus percentage points. Yikes. One alternative to this slow bleeding of resources is invest and make your money grow. But how do you get the money to start investing with? Here are a few ideas:

1. Pay Yourself First. Almost everyone could put 5 to 10% of their income aside (first) every month and then invest it. This is by far the easiest and most productive way to raise money for investing. It is a great habit to get into. If you are on a salary, you could start with a small amount and have it automatically taken off your cheque and put it into an account until you have enough to purchase an investment or asset that will make you money.

2. Windfalls. Most people over their lifetime will receive a windfall, an unexpected blessing of money. Maybe it will be a lottery, a contest, an unexpected tax refund, an inheritance, etc. Instead of blowing it all on something that will depreciate quickly (like a car), why not put the lion’s share into an account for investing? That way when opportunity knocks you’ll be ready.

3. Sell something (or somethings). Most people have between $500 and $1500 of things around their house that they could sell. Or if you have a $20,000 vehicle, you could sell it and buy one for $10,000 leaving you with $10,000 to invest. Your $20,000 vehicle will only depreciate anyway, why not use some of it’s value to make yourself some money?

4. Use the equity in your home. Many people look forward to the day they pay off their house, but in the meantime that equity (the difference between what you owe and what your home is worth) is doing nothing. Why not unlock some of it and use it? We did this to purchase our first rental property – we didn’t even have to take any money out, we just used it as collateral. Another great way to use your home’s equity is to get a line of credit. The interest on a l.o.c. is often extremely reasonable. Just be careful that you invest in something relatively safe when using borrowed money.

5. Work a bit more. Doing a little work on the side (consulting, babysitting, etc) or even working overtime is a great way to make some extra money to invest. Even $100 extra a month is $1200 a year.

James and Me

2011-01-13T19:49:00.000-08:00

I'm reading through the Book of James right now. Although Martin Luther called it "a right strawy epistle," the book of James is very special to me. It was the first book of the Bible that I read and . . . it hit me. I mean really hit me, the kind where you find yourself convicted, crying, and connected to God. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was in my room, home from the first year of Bible College and enjoying my summer. I had read through the Bible during that year but and although I learned lots and enjoyed it, it was nothing like I felt that day. I opened my Bible and randomly picked James and as I read everything suddenly got intense - and I became super focused. Every word burned in my heart and the conviction was almost unbearable. I found tears in my eyes as I felt God speaking to me through his Word. I sensed his will for me. It was all very unexpected and wonderful.

I don't feel that way very often when I read the Bible, but when I do I am extremely thankful. That day was a gift and a reminder that God can indeed speak to us powerfully. And I still never tire of reading James' letter and his call to action:

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”

Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.

James 2:14-19

Financial Goals

2011-01-12T08:19:00.000-08:00

I just read this morning that research shows that writing down your goals makes you much more likely to accomplish them then if you just visualize them. I was thinking about financial goals and their importance. Do you have any financial goals for the new year? Would you like some (or even one) but aren't sure where to start? Here are a few potential ones:

1. Give (consistently) a portion of your income. Whether it is the classic 10% or something more or less, giving is perhaps the greatest financial habit you can master. Why? Because it makes us feel good and shows us that we are not slaves to our income - we are the masters. For Christians, giving is a unique form of worship that is both a command to be obeyed and a blessing to be experienced.

2. Spend less then you make. The reduction in stress one feels when one keeps one's spending below what one is making is huge! I have met many people who make less then $40,000 a year who are much more at ease and less stressed then their "wealthier" friends who make 2 or 3 times what they do (but spend more then they make). The first kind of couple are wealthier - they have something left over at the end while their "richer" friends are in the hole.

3. Pay off debt. Setting aside a portion of your income to pay back debts builds your self esteem and reduces your stress. Even paying off smaller debts has great benefits.

4. Buy some assets. Purchasing things that put money into your pocket (instead of taking some out) just makes sense. It is short term gain (going without that new TV or car) for long term gain (seeing your nest egg increase, adding to your monthly income). Assets include stocks, real estate, small businesses, etc.

5. Pay yourself first. Putting aside a percentage of your income every month to invest will pay off in 5, 10, or 20 years (depending on how aggressively you invest). After giving, this is in my mind the most important thing you can do for yourself financially.

6. Track your income. Also known as (ahem) budgeting, tracking your income causes you to face the truth about where you are at and find ways to achieve your hopes and dreams. Budgeting takes a lot of discipline at the start but when it becomes a habit you'll wonder how you ever lived without it!

7. Increase your income. Instead of complaining about how you don't have enough money to meet your needs (or wants), take action. Set a goal to increase your income by a certain amount. If you don't know how, then brainstorm and research. Ramit Sethi has a lot of ideas in his "An Extra $1000 a month challenge."

8. Learn something new. If you aren't quite ready to take action, maybe you can inspire and educate yourself. There are plenty of good books out there that will not just tell you things but inspire and motivate you to do better with the money God has given you.

9. Find a mentor. Do you want to handle you money wisely? Then find someone who does so and ask if you can learn from them. Most people who are wise with finances learned it from others and are more then willing to share. Arrange to meet with them once a week/month/quarter to hear what they have to say and let them speak into your life.

10. Pray about your finances. Many people believe that the more faith you have, the less you think (or care) about money. Yet the Bible is full of advice, thoughts, warnings, and encouragement about how to use the money we get. God does care about these things. Praying for wisdom, control, balance, and that He would take care of you and your family when it comes to finances is a great thing to do. To make sure you are praying healthily, it is good to study what the Bible says about money and keep those thoughts in mind as you pray. God isn't Santa after all.

So there you go, 10 basic potential financial goals for the new year. Let me know if you think of any more.

Goal Setting for 2011

2011-01-11T08:56:00.000-08:00

Are you setting any goals for this year? If so, what are your reasons for/against? At one of my recent family gatherings I asked people if they had any goals for the year or if they were making any New Year's Resolutions. Almost all of them said no. Most of them said no adamantly. Several said something like "My New Year's Resolution is not to make any New Year's Resolutions!"

It is not my goal to judge those who have this view, but I will say that setting goals is really helpful for me personally. For me, to aim at nothing (and hope for the best) doesn't work - too frequently I get what I aimed for! Currently I'm brainstorming possible goals and weighing them in my mind. I plan to have measurable goals in the following areas:

-As a Christ follower
-In terms of my physical health
-As an adventurer
-In terms of my financial health
-As a husband
-In terms of professional development
-As a father

I told Jobina that I want to take 24 hours and go find a quiet place to pray and finalize these. To keep myself accountable I'll post them on my blog.

In my mind you have two choices: One big fat hairy audacious goal (like I had last year) . . . or several ambitious (but not too impossible) goals. Either way works. What are your goals for this year?

I think alot of don't make goals because we are afraid of failure, disappointment, or having others know we failed. But like I tell my clients, it is always better to strive after something and fail then to not strive for anything. It is in the striving that we grow, are stretched, and produce character. If we achieve our goals we celebrate, and if we fail to achieve them we learn and grow from it. Either way, we win. The only way we lose is if we don't strive for anything at all.

A Costly Gift

2011-01-07T19:41:00.000-08:00

Sometimes around Christmas I'll receive some gifts of appreciation from my clients. One particular client is a person gifted with a great intellect, a compassionate heart, and a sincere faith. But due to setbacks in his life he is very financially challenged. I know how small of a living space he lives in (smaller then most of your bedrooms), how much money he lives on, and how he doesn't have enough to take care of some of his most basic needs.

He surprised me recently by giving me a Christmas card with a Tim Horton's gift card in it. I was very moved by this gift. You see, it was the costliest gift I'd received this Christmas. It wasn't a lot but it was a huge gift. How so you might ask? What this man had freely given me was a much larger percentage of his income then any of the gifts anyone else had got me this Christmas. Wow. I was greatly humbled and greatly blessed.

His generosity reminded me of this passage:

As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”

Top 10 Books From My 2010 Book A Week Challenge

2011-01-01T19:01:00.000-08:00

OK, here are my favorite books that I read this past year. If you've got some Christmas money kicking around and you wanted to pick up something enlightening to read, here's a few ideas:

1. Last Child In The Woods - Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder
by Richard Louv. This book reinforced why nature is so important for our kids and what we can do to help them rediscover it. Seriously this book blew me away.

2. When The Game Is Over It All Goes Back In The Box by John Ortberg. If you are feeling a little unsure about your purpose in life, this could be a great book for you - especially if you are task oriented, materialistic, or prone to people pleasing.

3. The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns. This huge book is now an essential part of my counselling library. If you are hesitant about going to see a counselor but need some practical help for your anxiety, depression, or other common problems in living - this book is like a psychologist in box. So very useful.

4. The Speed of Trust by Stephen M. R. Covey. Trust is the only way to live, conduct business, and feel good about yourself and others. This book was like an ethical slap upside the head to me. For those wanting to build the trust of others, this book is essential reading.

5. The Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris. Easily the most radical book I read this year, I'm still reeling from his ideas. So many of our most common ideas about work, retirement, and living life are exploded and reconstructed here that you will be left feeling like Pandora's box has been opened and you can never close it again. . .

6. The Richest Man In Babylon by George Clason. Short and poignant stories of wisdom on how to handle your money wisely that if applied would benefit everyone. I only wish I'd read this when I got married! It's that powerful.

7. Switch -How To Change Things When Change Is Hard by Chip and Dan Heath. A great book - I was shocked at how easily the authors put together what is necessary to change self, others, and groups of people into short, easily understood instructions. Amazing and insightful.

8. The Sex Starved Marriage by Michele Weiner Davis. This book is hopeful, empowering, and super practical. My new favorite sex book to recommend to others - whether your marriage is sex starved or not.

9. Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. This book is not a magic trick that if you read it, you will always be able to withstand sexual temptation. But the ideas and stories are real, and if you take the author's advice to heart, this book can really help you.

10. Rich Kid, Smart Kid by Robert Kiyosaki. The best way to help your kids manage their money is to teach them - preferably a lot of the ideas in this book. Though not an instruction manual, it has so many good things and as a parent you will certainly learn as you teach. So helpful.

A Book A Week Challenge Results

2010-12-31T19:22:00.000-08:00

"Five years from now, you’re the same person except for the people you’ve met and the books you’ve read." — John Wooden

One of my "Goals for 2010" was to read a book a week for the entire year. I thought it would be easy as I read quite a bit, but it definitely was not! After a few months I let things slide a bit and had to pay catch up. In fact, I was behind so many books that my own wife confessed to me that she didn’t think I could do it and promptly made a bet with me that I would fail. Today though I’m pleased to report the results of my challenge:

Stats:
Books read	53
Pages read	16270
Avg pages per book	306.98

I did it! It’s amazing, but when I think of all the new ideas I’ve read I do totally feel like a different person. My mind has been stretched so much on so many topics: psychology, finances, faith, sex, nature, etc. Would I do it again? Absolutely. Because I had a goal I had to actively search out new things to read – and often I found the unexpected. Of course not all of them were great so tomorrow I will post a list of my favorite reads from the last year. In the meantime here is the list of completed books for anyone who is interested:


	A Book A Week

Number	Book Title	Pages

1	Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell	208
2	The Five Love Languages By Gary Chapman	208
3	Last Child In The Woods by Richard Louv	390
4	The Sex Starved Marriage by Michele Weiner Davis	224
5	Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson	349
6	The Art of War by Sun Tzu	96
7	Pure Desire by Ted Roberts	300
8	The Richest Man in Babylon by George Clason	208
9	The Call Of The Wild by Jack London	128
10	Love Is A Decision By Gary Smalley	224
11	The Wealthy Barber by David Chilton	224
12	Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser	383
13	Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker	336
14	The Automatic Millionaire: Canadian Edition by David Bach	256
15	Love Must be Tough by James Dobson	272
16	Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451 (graphic novel) by Tim Hamilton	160
17	Secrets Of The Millionaire Mind by T. H. Eker	224
18	The Liar In Your Life by Robert Feldman	304
19	The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls	288
20	Out Of The Silent Planet by C.S. Lewis	160
21	The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns	768
22	Perelandra by C.S. Lewis	288
23	That Hideous Strength by C.S. Lewis	544
24	The Mummy at the Dining Room Table: Eminent Therapists Reveal Their Most Unusual Cases	336
25	And No Birds Sang by Farley Mowat	256
26	Robin Hood - King of Sherwood by J.A. Watson	100
27	Never Cry Wolf by Farley Mowat	288
28	Jungle – A Harrowing Story of Survival by Yossi Ghinsberg	272
29	Byzantium by Stephen Lawhead	880
30	The Boat Who Wouldn’t Float by Farley Mowat	256
31	Honey, I Don't Have A Headache Tonight by Sheila Wray Gregoire	144
32	You Have What It Takes by John Eldredge	64
33	Switch - How To Change Things When Change Is Hard by Chip and Dan Heath	320
34	The One Minute Millionaire by Mark Hansen & Robert G. Allen	388
35	When The Game Is Over It All Goes Back In The Box by John Ortberg	256
36	The Four Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss	416
37	People of the Deer by Farley Mowat	264
38	I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi	266
39	The Island of Doctor Moreau by H.G. Wells	168
40	Codependent No More by Melody Beattie	264
41	The Last Lecture By Randy Pausch	224
42	Superfreakonomics by Steven Levit & Stephen Dubner	288
43	The Speed of Trust by Stephen M.R. Covey	384
44	Losing My Virginity - The Autobiography by Richard Branson	608
45	Animal Farm by George Orwell	112
46	The 47th Samurai: A Bob Lee Swagger Novel by Stephen Hunter	384
47	The Life and Times of the Thunderbot Kid: A Memoir by Bill Bryson	448
48	The Snowball - Warren Buffet and the Business of Life by Alice Schroeder	976
49	The Voyage of the Dawntreader by C.S. Lewis	180
50	The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis	190
51	Rich Kid, Smart Kid by Robery Kiyosaki	288
52	The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis	180
53	The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown	528

Book Review: The Horse and His Boy

2010-12-31T06:52:00.000-08:00

Book Review: The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis

This is the third book in the Narnian Chronicles and my favorite. It is mostly set in Calormen, an Arabic-like nation south of Narnia and I like how Lewis’s characters interact with this unique culture. A boy named Shasta grows up in this land and eventually runs away from his father with a talking horse named Bree. The book follows their adventures as they try to escape to Narnia. There are battles, desert crossings, palace intrigues, and of course powerful interactions with Aslan the Lion.

I think that I like this book the most because the character of Shasta connects with me. He is a humble boy who has no real assets according to the world around him but finds himself to be very special (and eventually heroic). Is this not every boy (and man’s) privately held hope? I also enjoy how Aslan is portrayed in this book and how everything he does/allows to happen is for a reason. He tells several of the characters who are looking for answers as to why certain things happened "I tell no one any story but his own." I rate this book 4.6 ninja stars out of 5.

Book Review: The Lost Symbol

2010-12-31T06:41:00.000-08:00

Book Review: The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown

This book is hard to put down. I read it it’s over 500 pages in just over 2 days. It felt like literary crack cocaine. Dad Brown is a truly amazing author in that he can keep you engaged at such a high level for such a long time that you begin to wonder if you are being hypnotized. That being said, this book is not quite as addictive as "The DaVinci Code." It is a new adventure with Robert Langdon, the humble symbologist who is the hero of Brown’s previous books but instead of the Church being his main target, it is the Masons.

Although this book got lots of bad reviews, I thought it was actually pretty good. Like his previous books, Brown tries to get you to swing to his worldview (deism) and so in many ways it’s a propaganda book that most Christians would find annoying or theologically “abhorrent” but as pure entertainment I’ve read far worse. I’d give it 1 ninja stars for its message and 5 stars for fun so in the end it gets a 3 ninja stars out of 5 rating.

Book Review: Rich Kid, Smart Kid

2010-12-30T14:31:00.000-08:00

Book Review: Rich Kid, Smart Kid by Robert Kiyosaki

It seems that most people, when I ask them what their parents taught them about money say something like this: "Not much." Most kids do learn from their parents -by watching how they handle their money (and listening to how they talk about it). Some parents teach their kids how to save, some teach how to give, and some even teach thrift and frugality. If you were taught some or all of those things then consider yourself lucky. But there are only a handful of people out there who were taught by their parents how to invest their money. This book teaches you as a parent how to share this important information (and helps you understand why - even if you were never taught it yourself.

I loved this book. The subtitle is "Giving Your Child A Financial Head Start" and while it is not comprehensive, I am very much using much of what he shares to help my kids. I have already taught (thanks to this book) Riker a few simple concepts:

Me: "Hey Riker, what's the difference between assets and liabilities?"
Riker: "That's easy. Assets put money into your pocket, liabilities take money out of your pocket."

The book is mostly a book about financial philosophy and the importance of teaching kids about money. It is fairly opinionated, definitely not comprehensive, and a bit repetitive. But if you want to teach your kids how to handle you money then I highly recommend this book as an easy to read starting point. I rate it 4.2 ninja stars out of 5.

Book Review: The Silver Chair

2010-12-24T12:30:00.000-08:00

Book Review: The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis

One of my clients mentioned the other day the great character of Puddleglum (from the Silver Chair) and so I decided to read the book that refers to him again. The Silver Chair is about the search for the missing prince Rillian, Caspian's only son who was kidnapped by an evil witch. Eustace and Jill are whisked from a close call at Experiment House (their school in England) and back to Narnia where Aslan give them the task of finding the lost prince. Together with their intriguing guide Puddleglum, they go north into the wilds of Narnia where they encounter giants, and underground kingdom, and the witch. I love this tale. The title refers to the silver chair that is part of the prince's enchantment.

I always liked this book because of the interesting character that is Pudddleglum. Puddleglum is a pessimist, yet he is an adventurer and high in integrity. I would very much not mind having a friend like him. Another part that touched me was a quote from Prince Rillian as he and the search party are trying to find their way out of a tricky spot and hoping not to perish in the attempt. Rillian says: "Courage, friends," came Prince Rilian's voice. "Whether we live or die Aslan will be our good lord." And earlier he puts it this way: "Doubtless," said the Prince, "This signifies that Aslan will be our good lord, whether he means us to live or die." I like how Rillian was willing to accept death or life from his Lord. He trusted him completely no matter which way things turned out. That is the kind of faith I want to have in God. Job says something similar that I have always aspired to: "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him" - Job 13:15. Overall I rate this book 4.1 ninja stars out of 5.

There is also a great quote about Aslan that further enlarges Lewis' view of God. I find it poetic and inspiring:

"Are you not thirsty?" said the Lion. "I am dying of thirst," said Jill. "Then drink," said the Lion. "May I--could I--would you mind going away while I do?" said Jill. The Lion answered this only by a look and a very low growl. And as Jill gazed at its motionless bulk, she realized that she might as well have asked the whole mountain to move aside for her convenience. The delicious rippling noise of the stream was driving her nearly frantic.

"Will you promise not to--do anything to me, if I do come?" said Jill. "I make no promise," said the Lion. Jill was so thirsty now that, without noticing it, she had come a step nearer. "Do you eat girls?" she said. "I have swallowed up girls and boys, women and men, kings and emperors, cities and realms," said the Lion. It didn't say this as if it were boasting, nor as if it were sorry, nor as if it were angry. It just said it.

"I daren't come and drink," said Jill. "Then you will die of thirst," said the Lion. "Oh dear!" said Jill, coming another step nearer. "I suppose I must go and look for another stream then."

"There is no other stream," said the Lion."

Adventures In Stock Investing

2010-12-22T15:12:00.000-08:00

If you’d told me a year ago that I would be doing a post on stock investing I would have laughed in your face. Seriously. Then I would have lectured you about the volatility of stocks, their meager returns, and why real estate was such a better way. So it is with a bit of sheepishness and humility that I now say “I was wrong.” Investing in stocks can actually be . . . (ahem) smart.

So how did I get involved?

I have a co-worker who mentioned that her husband invests in stocks. Not only that but he’s trained hundreds of people on how to do so and is quite successful. This is his job – just buying and selling stocks - and training others how to do it as well. He has his own system that he’s developed and she wondered if I would be interested in talking to him. I asked about his returns (which were enough to intrigue me) and then got an email from him a little later. He explained his system to me and told me how it works. And he showed me his record. These were enough to convince me that I’d stumbled onto something spectacular and after some thinking and praying told Jobina “We’d be fools not to try this out!” So I signed up for his coaching plus you pay a monthly fee to be subscribed to his website (where he publishes stock picks as well as runs analysis on the market to help you pick your own).

I have now been doing it a little over 6 months and in that time I have made over a 35% return. I think that’s pretty good and I don’t know if I could do that again (or if I could make more) but I’m content so far. I get into stocks that have momentum and then sell them once they reach the targets that my coach has set out. The goal is never to hold onto any stock for more then 5 days. My biggest loss was about $300 and my biggest gain was just under $1000 (that one was a bit lucky!). I started out with a self-directed TFSA (at Questrade) maxed out to $10,000. By the way, the TFSA is an investor’s dream – you will never be taxed on any of your earnings! I love my TFSA like my own children. To me, it is a gift from our government - take advantage of it while it’s still around!

I found out that investing in stocks can play havoc with your emotions, especially at the start. When you “win” you get a rush and when you lose you feel down and depressed. And yes, you will lose. I found out that I’m not good at taking losses (never had to in real estate) but that it is a necessity in stocks. Luckily I have won much more then I lost. This kind of investing is much like gambling (although farming is a form of gambling too – so is every form of earning income) and so I don’t think it is for everyone. I’m really enjoying it and while I wouldn’t invest everything I have in stocks, I’ve definitely changed my mind about them. My monthly fee that I pay my coach is easily offset by my gains – and if I had more money to invest with the cost to be would be even more reasonable.

When I told my Mom about my stock investing she laughed and said that is what my grandpa (who died when I was 8) also was into. I like the fact that I discovered this on my own, yet it connects me to my grandfather. I think that he would smile, knowing that I’m investing like he did.

Book Review: Voyage of the Dawntreader

2010-12-21T08:46:00.000-08:00

Book Review: Voyage of the Dawntreader by C.S. Lewis

I've been reading a lot of non-fiction lately so I thought it might be good to pick up this book, especially with the movie being released recently. I have read the Narnian Chronicles at least eight or nine times and Voyage of The Dawntreader is probably my 2nd favorite of the series (Horse and His Boy is first). It starts of delightfully "There was a boy called Eustace Scrubb and he almost deserved it . . ."

The story follows the return of Edmund and Lucy to Narnia, bringing their disagreeable cousin Eustace with them. The trio are tossed (literally) into the sea and eventually a voyage aboard Caspian the 10th's newest ship, The Dawntreader. They are seeking out the seven lost Lords of Narnia who disappeared during Caspian's predecessor's evil reign. Reepicheep the mouse is aboard as well, seeking his destiny at the end of the world. Through their many adventures, Eustace begins to change and it altogether a merry quest. I find Lewis's style refreshing - he can express much with very few words and the simplicity of his writing makes the text which is now over 50 years still feel fresh and contemporary. There is moment where Aslan helps Eustace which still moves me every time I read it - an obvious allusion to Christ washing us clean. An altogether brilliant and short read - I rate it 4 ninja stars out of 5.

P.S. The image is from a much older paperback version of the book which is the one I got when I was a kid. To me, only this old set looks and feels right.

Sick

2010-12-20T05:01:00.000-08:00

Sorry about the sporadic nature of my posts lately, my family has been very sick (especially Trinity and Sawyer) and it feels like we've been treading water on the home front. I'm always amazed at how being ill so dramatically affects one's quality of life. Your attitude, productivity, socialness, happiness - everything is effected. I hate being sick (around Christmas is the worst) but hopefully we'll be through it in another week.

I suppose being sick can teach you things. Like being grateful when you aren't! Also, about one's mortality, the really important things in life, and of course the perils of having multiple children in school. Ah well.

Book Review: Snowball

2010-12-20T04:25:00.000-08:00

Book Review: The Snowball - Warren Buffet and the Business of Life by Alice Schroeder

I'm zeroing in on my goal of reading a book a week for the year and knew that picking up this 1000 page tome was not wise . . . but I couldn't resist. The autobiography of one of the world's smartest and richest men? I gave in to temptation and picked up it's huge heft from the library. In case you don't know who Warren Buffet is (aka "The Oracle of Omaha"), he is arguably this century's greatest investor. He is he is the primary shareholder, chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway which is currently trading at over $120,000 per share! He was ranked as the world's second wealthiest person in 2009 and is currently the third wealthiest person in the world as of 2010. Buffett is noted for his adherence to the value investing philosophy and for his personal frugality despite his immense wealth (he still lives in the moderately sized house he bought decades ago for $30,000). In case you are thinking he's just another greedy rich guy, know that Buffet is also a notable philanthropist, having pledged to give away 99 percent of his fortune to philanthropic causes, primarily via the Gates Foundation.

What kind of person does it take to become a billionaire? Someone with a special gift. Buffet as a boy had a favorite toy - a moneychanger. What kind of kid picks a moneychanger for a toy? Probably one who was extremely gifted in mathematics and would later ask his Dad to let him visit the New York Stock Exchange as his coming of age gift. Even at an early age he became a businessman and investor, buying stocks and starting businesses before he was 12 years old. Like many genius children, he was not always understood and was socially awkward yet he eventually rose above it. Later in life he was lucky enough to study the great investors of his time, learning their systems and then improving them. Warren's true genius was his ability to see and buy great stocks or companies that were undervalued and then hold onto them as long as he could. He spent his life learning and acquiring - not just investments but people as well. To Buffet, everything was about the power of compounding returns, yet he only risked wisely. Another great thing about Buffet was his moral compass. Unlike many in business, he refused to sacrifice his morals to make money, believing that while it takes a lifetime to build a reputation, it only takes five minutes to destroy it. Buffet's reputation for honesty and integrity is unparalleled in an industry known for it's deceit.

Because he was so super focused this allowed him to become truly great, but it did have bad effects on his family. To me, the sacrifices he made with his family would not have been worth it, yet this is often true of geniuses in other fields as well (I think of Einstein and Gandhi who were also geniuses yet caused great pain to those close to them). I really enjoyed this book, being at times inspired and then later feeling sorry for him (yes, you can feel sorry for multi-billionare). His wisdom with money and his philosophy of investing is the best I've ever read. Highly recommended. 4.3 ninja stars out of 5.

Book Review: The Life And Times Of The Thunderbolt Kid

2010-12-16T12:29:00.001-08:00

Book Review: The Life And Times Of The Thunderbolt Kid (A Memoir) by Bill Bryson

I'm kind of a sucker for people's stories about their growing up years. Bill Bryson is a gifted writer so I thought "Why not?" The book is an extremely funny reflection of Bryson's growing up in Des Moines, Iowa during the 1950s and early 1960s. For those who enjoyed Bryson's "A Walk In The Woods" and "Neither Here Nor There: Travels In Europe," Byrson fills in the back story on his famous friend Stephen Katz. More then just a memoir, the author describes and comments on American life in humorous detail. And the strange title? It comes from an imaginary alter-ego Bryson invented for himself in his childhood, who has the ability to "vaporise people." (Personally I had no such strange ideas myself although I did have serious plans on how I was going to take over the world and rule it benevolently. Luckily I dropped those plans shortly after having children - just not enough time.)

I laughed hard reading this book yet it is also filled with enough thoughtful commentary on the good things and bad things of American history to make it thought provoking as well. Bryson's genius is the artful way in which he blends words and ideas. He truly is a great writer and I'd say this is one of his better books. A little crude at times, this doesn't always come across well when he is speaking the thoughts of a 7 year old boy. Definitely an entertaining read and his story about accidentally sharing a drink with an old man made me laugh out loud and then snicker occasionally as I remembered the story for the next week. I give it 4 ninja stars out of 5.

Remind Me Again

2010-12-09T18:04:00.000-08:00

What does it mean to "learn" something? Does it mean you grasp the concept, remember it, apply it, master it . . . what? The reason I ask is because so often we tell ourselves (or others) that we've learned our lesson but then we go and do the same (or similar) mistakes all over again. Have we really "learned" it? I often wonder.

For instance, I've learned some very good things about relationships. Wise, insightful, solidly practical things. Or at least I thought I did cause I later act as if I hadn't. "I've learned my lesson," someone says "No more snacking after 8pm." Or maybe it's drinking coffee (or alcohol), dating someone new when you've just broken up with someone, speeding, or talking about someone behind their back. Whatever it is, we seem to have a problem with unlearning what we have learned. Or in it's shorter form "forgetting."

We are terribly forgetful people. In solution focused therapy, one of the main interventions is simply to ask "Was their ever a time that this problem wasn't there . . . or wasn't this bad?" Most people respond with a time. "What were you doing different?" Most people can say what it was they were doing that helped. "What's stopping you from doing that again?" is the final question. So often we know what works, we just stop doing it and we "forget" how we solved the problem in the past. Even if the solution was brilliant. We just need to be reminded.

I fins that I need to be reminded about several things I thought I knew. These include:
-Getting to get to sleep on time makes me less grouchy.
-Consistently spending time with God feeds my soul.
-Not having a to do list in front of me at work task hurts my efficiency.
-I need time away to keep my zest for life, ministry, and God.
-Date Nights/one on one's with my wife/kids makes me happy.
-Spending more money then I make makes me insecure.
-An hour after eating at McDonald's I will feel gross, so don't even bother.

I had a couple come in the other day and tell me that they firmly believed that for their relationship to keep on prospering they needed to see a counselor once every few months ("to check the engine") and go to at least one marriage retreat a year. Basically it was so that the could be reminded of what they had already learned. The worst thing we can do is think "Well, I've learned that now so I guess life just goes. Good for me." The discipline of regularly reminding oneself of the important things is perhaps the greatest discipline of all.

We're almost at the end of the year. What are the important things that you don't want to forget that you've learned. How can you plan your year in a way that you are reminded and inspired about them? I'm planning to use my calendar and block in a whole bunch of things that I know are important - reminder times. I'll let you know if it works!

Book Review: The 47th Samurai

2010-12-08T17:33:00.000-08:00

Book Review: The 47th Samurai by Stephen Hunter

I borrowed this book from the library on a whim after seeing one of my clients reading it. It's a bit of departure for me - military fiction (although I used to be quite fond of Tom Clancy's older work like Hunt For Red October and Red Storm Rising). I was warned the book was ultra violent and so it was. It's billed as a "Bob Lee" story, and I found out that this is one in a series of books with the same character.

Bob Lee Swagger is a 60 year old retired marine master sniper and hero. He is sought out by Philip Yano, the son of the Japanese officer who commanded the bunker on Iwo Jima where Swagger's marine father won the Medal of Honor in 1945. Yano approaches Swagger about a missing sword wielded by his father. The sword turns out to be not just a family heirloom but a national treasure that evokes echoes from the most sacrosanct corners of Japanese history. Yano's eventually gets the sword but is then killed brutally by a mysterious group of Japanese Mafia. Lee goes to Japan and learns their ways so at to get the sword and find justice for Yano's killing.

The book has a lot of information about the samurai and samurai swords which I found to be the most interesting part of the book. Unfortunately most of the other elements of the book are simply difficult to keep believable. The plot is straightforward with a few good twists but unfortunately like many books in this genre, the characters aren't developed enough to make things believable. One almost gets the idea that the story was written in a hurry. Stephen Hunter is a pulitzer prize winning novelist so although the story doesn't flow all that great it is still entertaining, it's just not exceptional. Read it for the samurai trivia, not for it's literary value. Because it is so brutal and so crude I wouldn't read it again. To sum up, it's OK, it's just a little unbelieveable and much too crude. I give it 2.9 ninja stars out of 5.

Dreaming About Lofoten

2010-12-07T08:15:00.000-08:00

Today I added a new place to visit: Lofoten. Lofoten is north of the Arctic Circle in Norway and is unique because of it's climate. It's kind of an Eden in the middle of the north. It has one of the largest temperature ananomolies on earth in regards to it's lattitude (due to the currents that warm it). Rarely hot, but certainly not too cold either I could see myself going out there to relax, explore, or write a book. I'm thankful to God that he created places like these and I definitely would like to visit it someday.

Link with more info and amazing pictures

Book Review: Animal Farm

2010-12-06T12:57:00.000-08:00

Book Review: Animal Farm by George Orwell

This is such an intriguing and engaging book! Originally titled "Animal Farm: A Fairy Tale" it is an adult take on a children's tale, yet is also an allegory for totalitarianism in general and communism specifically. It's a rather cute story of some farmyard animals that overthrow their evil ruler (the farmer Mr. Jones) and liberate the farm. The way the animals adapt to their revolution and create order when they experience freedom mirrors the Russian Revolution and the rise of Stalin's communism very well. However, if you didn't know all the political symbolism, you'd find this a fun read. Ultimately this is a story about the inevitable struggle with oppression and then corruption. An initially ideal socialist society gives way to corruption and the tale becomes a page turner as the animals are lead further and further astray by their leaders.

I enjoyed the overt story as well as the covert one. It made me think - was Orwell saying that all revolutions result in totalitarianism and that all leaders tend to be corrupted? I would dearly like to ask him. The book certainly shows the ease that a large group of people can be swayed away from their original ideals - how skilled speakers can move people from laws and morals simply by appealing to their practicality with high minded explanations. This was a short book (about 100 pages) but a true classic that is easy to read. I rate it 4 ninja stars out of 5.

On Financial Intelligence

2010-12-04T19:13:00.000-08:00

One man's views on financial intelligence, Robert Kiyosaki's reflects on his "Rich Dad's" thoughts about financial intelligence:

"Financial wisdom is not about how much money you make, it's about how much money you keep and how hard that money works for you."

Yet as time went on, he refined his definition of financial intelligence. He once said, "You know your financial intelligence is increasing if as you get older your money is buying you more freedom, happiness, health, and choices in life." He went on to explain that many people made more money as they got older, but their money only brought them less freedom - less freedom in the form of having bigger bills to pay. Having bigger bills meant the person had to work harder to pay for them. To rich dad this was not financially intelligent. He also explained that he saw many people making a lot of money, but their money did not make them happier. To him, that was not financially intelligent. "Why work for money and be unhappy?" He said, "If you must work for money, find a way to work and be happy. That is financial intelligence."

When it came to health he would say, "Too many people work too hard for money and slowly kill themselves in the process. Why work hard sacrificing the mental and physical well-being of your family as well as yourself? That is not financially intelligent." When it came to health he also said, "Three is no such thing as a sudden heart attack. Heart attacks and other diseases such as cancer take time to develop. They are caused by lack of exercise, a poor diet, and not enough joy in one's life over extended periods of time. Of the three, I think lack of joy is the greatest cause of heart attacks and disease." He said, "Too many people think about working harder rather then about how to have more fun and enjoy this great gift of life."

My rich dad went on went on to explain that financial intelligence gave a person more choices in life by saying, "Money is power because more money gives you more choices. But it was his lesson about happiness that he stressed more and more the older he got. As he neared the end of his life and had more money than he had dreamed possible, he restated again and again, "Money does not make you happy. Never think that you will be happy when you get rich. If you are not happy while getting rich, chances are you will not be happy when you do get rich. So whether you are rich or poor, make sure you are happy."

-Robert Kiyosaki, "Rich Kid, Smart Kid"

Book Review: Losing My Virginity

2010-12-03T09:14:00.000-08:00

Book Review: Losing My Virginity - The Autobiography by Richard Branson

This is definitely one of the most fascinating biographies I have ever read. It is the story of Sir Richard Branson, hippy turned global billionaire/entrepreneur . It is the story of his life and what a life it is! Often as I was reading it I would put the book down and remark in wonder "This guy's life can't really have happened this way!" It's just so unbelievable. Branson has fit 6 people's lifetimes into one. At the age of 15 he started his own national magazine (The Student) and interviewed people like The Rolling Stones and The Beatles. Later he started a mail order music business which eventually started a music store business (Virgin Music) which eventually started a music label (Virgin Records). You'd think this would be enough but during that time he also bought a 3 million pound island for 180,000 pounds, lived on a houseboat, got married twice, and started a student help line to help students in crisis. Branson is also an adventurer and along with others has broken several records in sailing and ballooning. His ballooning adventures alone are worthy of an entire book - at one point he's on the top of his rapidly descending balloon capsule trying to decide if he'd have better chances of living by parachuting now or jumping directly into the ocean before impact. It seems like he should have died on almost all of this extreme adventures he went on!

Branson is an interesting mix of risk taker and business acumen that the world rarely sees. He has the ability to dream big, ask questions like "Why can't we do this?" and then make huge (but informed) bets that have consistently paid off during his lifetime. Was he lucky sometimes? Absolutely. But there is no question that he is a visionary and entrepreneur who has great skills in salesmanship, spotting talent, weighing risk, and creativity. His Virgin Group of companies now include several airlines, mobile phone groups, train operators, fuel producers, etc. He is a multi-billionaire who is easily bored and thrives on challenges. In many ways he is the ultimate rags to riches story and his unique ability to not let fear or greed overcome him has made him incredibly successful and inspiring.

This is a long read, and I'd say the first 80% is difficult to put down. The end gets a little slower as it is more of a chronicle of his current accomplishments which although impressive, don't quite have the daring and risk taking of his first few decades. The book does have some coarse language and some rather "risque" (rated R) stories but these are few and if you can look past this you will be inspired. I rate it 4.5 out of 5 ninja stars.

How Much Do You Trust Yourself? And How Much Do Others Trust You?

2010-12-02T10:09:00.000-08:00

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”
-George MacDonald

An interesting exercise was offered in the pages of The Speed of Trust - take a free online trust test and see how you rate yourself. Then, if you dare, send an email out to a several people whom you know and get them to rate you in the different areas of trust. Everyone who does this does it anonymously and it only takes a few minutes.

So here's the question; I assume most people wouldn't mind doing the self test. But are you brave enough to do the 2nd part? Are you open enough to feedback to hear the truth about what people think about you? Before I give the link to the test, I'm curious to know . . .

Would you be brave enough to send a questionnaire to people who would anonymously rate how trustworthy you are?Market Research

I thought the feedback might be good and so I sent it out to between 15 and 20 people. This included family, friends, co-workers, bosses (or supervisors), ministry partners, etc. I tried to send it to people who I thought might trust me highly and those who might not. My results are below:

Personal Credibility Score & Report (this was my own rating of myself in the different trust areas):

Integrity: 83%
Intent: 63%
Capability: 83%
Results: 63%
Others Trust Me: 63%
Character: 73%
Competence: 73%

Personal Credibility Index: 70%

Here's What Others Say (the average of people who filled it out for me - thanks by the way if that was you!)

Character: 92%
Competence: 89%
Others Trust You: 94%
You Consistently Interact in a Way that Builds Trust: 92%
Your "Trustability" with Others: 92%

Aggregate (combination of personal and others) Personal Credibility Index: 82%

I enjoyed the exercise and I was a bit reassured to see that others thought of me as more trustworthy then I thought of myself, but I want to increase everything (especially competence) up higher. Seem like a good exercise? If you'd like to do it, the link to the website is below:

www.whotrustsyou.com

Book Review: The Speed of Trust

2010-12-01T14:53:00.000-08:00

Book Review: The Speed of Trust by Stephen M. R. Covey

Sometimes you read a book that you didn't know you needed to. This was that book for me.

For the past little while I've felt a growing discontent with the ethical part of myself. Yet I couldn't pinpoint what was wrong. This book helped me to see it. And the issue was trust. This excellent book shows how important trust is - trusting yourself and others. Though mostly a business/organizational book, I was most impressed with the personal application. To Covey, trust is a mix of two essential elements - character (or integrity) and competence (results). To truly trust yourself or someone else you need to have both. He gets much more technical then this, but I realized as I was reading that the reason I was losing "trust" in myself was that I was setting goals for myself and not achieving them (competence) as well as telling people I'd do things but not completing them (character). As such, my self-trust was quietly and slowly eroding. And of course I didn't feel good about it.

Covey's understanding of trust and why it is so important (saveing time/money by the way) was just what I needed to hear. He has very practical ideas on what he calls "smart trust" which helps to extend trust generously but carefully to others. I'm definitely going to read this book again . . . it's application is in every area of our lives. As spouses, parent's, employees, employers, board members, etc trust is necessary and makes life easier. As a Christ-follower I want to be someone who trusts wisely and joyfully. Highly recommended at 4.6 ninja stars out of 5.

BCBC In The Fall: Adventures with Riker

2010-11-29T07:05:00.000-08:00

A few years ago I went to the trouble of defining what I saw as my unique roles in life - "adventurer" was one of them. When I went to school that part of me got sidelined quite a bit. Since another of my roles is "Father," I decided to combine the two. Riker and I had a little adventure a little over two month ago. He skipped school (with Jobina's consent) and we went up to the wildlands of Mennville where we stayed in the Dueck's cabin (Thanks Terry and Brian!). Interestingly, we got up there pretty late (it was dark) and it was raining. The trail was a little wet and when I tried to get my van down a "shortcut" to avoid some water I got stuck. Riker was so funny - when he realized we were stuck he actually screamed out "We're going to die!!" After calming him down we walked to Eric and Lindsey's to see about getting a little help but they weren't home. So we walked over to Walden and Eileens and not only did Walden get us out, but he kindly offered us his 4X4 truck to get out to the cabin. We were overwhelmed by his generosity and soon we we bouncing down the trail feeling much more confident. Riker was still thinking that we might meet our demise though when after bouncing down the trail for a few minutes we were stopped by trees that had fallen across the trail. So we got out in the rain and dragged those big trees out of the way. A few minutes later we reached the cabin in the dark and had a great time unloading and getting a fire started. Some highlights of that evening involved gathering birch bark in the dark, playing uno by candlelight, Riker reading me Bible stories, and triumphantly getting the fire going.
The next day we got up and Riker was in much better spirits. After breakfast we went exploring in the surrounding bush. This was probably the most fun Riker had - it was tough dragging him back to pack up. Here's me and the boy:

Riker found some "cool bones" in the forest. Here he is posing with them (with machete as well):

Some flowers growing beside the cabin:

Riker hacking branches of trees, deep in the forest:

But we wanted to get up to BCBC and help out in the remodelling of the kitchen so eventually we had to leave. BCBC is our family camp - I've been going there since I was 8 years old and it is kind of spiritual centering point for me. I'm rarely up there when it's fall, so the colors of the trees changing were quite awesome to behold. Here's a bald eagle we saw on the side of the Pine Dock road as we drove north:

I'm afraid I didn't do very much to help out (probably a total of 2 or 3 hours) but that was never the main intent anyway. Basically I just wanted to hang out up there with Riker and show him that it was important to serve. Here's a picture of Riker putting screws into the floor:

Later that day we went out to the overnight site on the point. During the summer we set up old canvas prospector tents there, but right now only the frames are visible:

Later after helping out some more, everyone left us and Riker and I moved into Robin's Nest (a cabin) and went to the firepit and had ourselves a great weiner roast:

The stars were out and the night was one of those eerily quiet ones - almost no wind. Very beautiful. That night Riker read to me more Bible stories (I get kind of choked up when I think about it - staying in a cabin at my camp overnight with my son - and him reading Bible stories to me - Wow I am blessed!) and we both slept well. The next day we took some pics around the camp and then headed for home:

It's funny, when I reflect on all the things I have done this year, this is probably at the top of my list. Spending time going on adventures with my son - that to me is time very well spent. I often have great intent, but am poor on follow through when it comes to such things. But this time it worked out and I am thankful. To keep myself accountable I told Trinity that her time is next. Hopefully we'll have a chance to do that before Christmas (or shortly afterward) . . .

Openness and Teachability

2010-11-26T09:39:00.001-08:00

For the past few days I have been thinking alot about trust as I read this excellent book (look for a later review). Part of being trustworthy (and trusting yourself) is having integrity. The author of the book I'm reading cites this story and says there are three things necessary for integrity to grow:

1. Make and keep commitments to yourself.
2. Stand for something.
3. Be open.

I'm thinking alot about the last one. Being open is synonymous with being teachable - are you truly humble and courageous enough to acknowledge that there are things you don't know?

This past summer I was amused by a little contest between my brother Tim and my son Riker. We were at Tim's cabin, sitting around the campfire when a bat flew by. Tim suggested that he and Riker have a contest (best of 5 questions wins) to see who knew more about bats. Tim had just watched a TV program about a certain kind of bat so he thought it would be pretty easy. Tim asked the first question and was surprised when Riker knew it. Then Riker stumped Tim. And when Tim asked the next question, Riker got it correct again. Finally, Tim in his exasperation asked Riker if knew the kind of bat that can fly over 100km an hour. Riker didn't know. "Ha, I got you," said my brother triumphantly, "the answer is Batman!" Needless to say my brother wasn't ready or willing to be taught by an 8 year old (just like I'm often not) but being open is an attitude that is not reserved for when we are around obvious experts. Billy Graham is famous for asking other people "Maybe you could teach me something about preaching better?" True humility is open and teachable - toward anyone.

If I am honest, brutally honest with myself, I'd say that my openness/teachability waxes and wanes dramatically. Sometimes I'm quite open to what others (friends, family, clients, authors) have to say and other times I'm not. Sometimes I'm not really listening to people, I'm just waiting so I can give my retort or get in my thoughts. Have you ever been in a "discussion" where it's just people taking turns sharing what they know but they aren't really interacting and learning? It's sad really. So, how does one evaluate one's openness? Steven M. R. Covey suggests a few questions to ask yourself:

-Do I believe that the way I see the world is totally accurate and complete - or am I honestly willing to listen and consider new viewpoints and ideas?

-Do I seriously consider differing points of view (from a boss, direct report, team member, spouse, or child), and am I willing to be influenced by them?

-Do I believe there may be principles that I have not yet discovered? Am I determined to live in harmony with them, even if it means developing new thinking patterns and habits?

-Do I value - and am I involved in - continual learning?

I'm going to try and review these questions every time I start "coasting" in my openness!

Book Review: Superfreakonomics

2010-11-25T13:37:00.000-08:00

Book Review: Superfreakonomics by Steven Levit & Stephen Dubner

This book is sequel of sorts, to the best selling Freakonomics by the same authors. While I found the first book on economics interesting but lacking in purpose, this one definitely had more of a definite message. That message is this: man is moved by incentives and the interplay of those incentives sometimes has very interesting implications for the various problems and curiosities that life presents. My favorite chapter was the one on how small (and cheap) fixes are often the best fixes. The creative use of statistics is another big theme in this book. One early example of the interpretation of statistics consists of the story of a physician who found that he could reduce greatly the maternal mortality rate in his hospital if he required doctors to wash their hands before they did a delivery, and this was decades before Louis Pasteur discovered bacteria (too bad he was thought of as a madman and eventually died in an asylum!). The authors also show how children whose mothers fasted during pregnancy because of Ramadan are more likely to suffer from behavioural and learning disabilities. The chapters on prostitution, and the nature of altruism (are we naturally altruistic or not?) were also quite fascinating. For anyone who is an inventor, a free-thinker, or who simply wants to stretch their mind you will enjoy this book. I rate in 4.1 ninja stars out of 5.

When Is The Best Time?

2010-11-24T20:05:00.000-08:00

Something to reflect on:

The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago.
The second best time is today.

-Chinese Proverb

Book Review: The Last Lecture

2010-11-23T14:39:00.000-08:00

Book Review: The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

I had heard about this book a few years back and when I saw it on my latest library excursion I picked it up without a second thought. I knew this book was going to be important for me.

Randy Pausch was a professor of computer sciences (specifically with virtual reality) at Carnegie Mellon University. In 2007 he found out that he was going to die from pancreatic cancer within three to six month. He decided to do one last lecture entitled “Really achieving your childhood dreams.” It was amazing. So much so that millions watched it online and it became a book. I think Pausch would be the kind of person everyone would want as a professor and friend. He was energetic, fun, a genius, and incredibly positive. To hear how he handled his impending death and his life reflections, well, it’s a bit overwhelming. It certainly hit me hard, talking about how he would miss his wife and his kids and what their journey was like, but it was more his optimistic way of celebrating the life he had led and was still living. He decided to have fun right up until the end. The book is full of his stories and advice for life, much of it given to him from his parents, friends, colleagues, and students. I think anyone reading this would find it inspiring, hopeful, and wise. A fascinating read that will leave you with a warm feeling in your heart (sadness and hope mixed together). I give it 4.5 ninja stars out of five.

P.S. In case you haven’t seen it, here’s the official link to the famous lecture (give yourself a good hour to watch it and reflect)

Risking It All

2010-11-22T11:21:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday I had some guys over at my house to play one of the greatest games ever created: Risk. It was an epic game - full of the twists, trash talking, surprise upsets, and bluffing that make the game so sweet. The game lasted a few hours but was enjoyed by all six of us.

Yes, Risk is a simple boardgame. But it's so much more. I find that when it comes to truly getting to know and understand someone Risk is the best. After a few games of Risk with someone you know the answers to things like:

-What is their risk tolerance?
-How honest are they?
-Are they more task or relationship oriented?
-Are they a good winner?
-Are they a good loser?
-How patient are they?
-How resourceful are they?

Risk is also a great metaphor for life. Are you playing to win or simply not to lose? Are you willing to make alliances with people (and if so, will you keep them)? To succeed in life, you must take risks and nothing is ever for sure (hence the dice). I conservatively guess that I've played over 80 games of boardgame risk in my life and hundreds of games on my computer.

Risk is 1/3rd strategy, 1/3rd psychological, and 1/3rd third luck (my favorite part is the psychological). I love boardgames (Jobina and I are trying a new one called Dominion which is quite good) but Risk will always have the most special place in my heart. What about you, what's your favorite boardgame and why?

Book Review: Codependent No More

2010-11-19T10:06:00.000-08:00

Book Review: Codependent No More - How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie

If you live with a spouse, partner, or family member who is addicted to something, there is a good chance that you have become codependent. Beattie defines a "codependent" as someone "who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior. We believe that we'd be happy if the other person would just change." Codependency is the group of behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that a person who is bound to an addict develops to try to change the other person. Codependents lose track of their own sense of self as they become lost in the world of the addict. They compensate for this by unleashing controlling behaviors on the person as a way of coping.

If you are person who feels stuck and unhappy in your relationship with an addict, this is the classic book on restoring yourself. Few people codependency as well as Beattie who is recovering successfully from a variety of addictive disorders and entanglements. In this classic work, she combines real-life stories with practical illustrations of the concepts that define every part of the codependent syndrome. I have offered this book to many clients (especially with spouses who are alcoholics) and it has been quite helpful for them. For myself, even though I don't consider myself codependent, there was definitely things that I was able to apply to myself as well. I rate it 4.2 ninja stars out of 5.

Playing By The Rules

2010-11-18T08:23:00.000-08:00

“Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.”
-Max Lucado

Conflict itself isn't bad. In fact, it's good and will help you grow. The trick is in how it's managed. One question that I almost always get around to asking couples in crisis is "What are your rules for conflict?" Almost 100% of such couples tell me they have none. If I ask healthier coupes what their conflict rules are, they will often have one or two. My conclusion; healthier couples have rules for conflict and the healthiest couples actually follow them. Rules for conflict tend exist to protect the relationship and keep anger in conflict from getting too high.

So . . . if you are in couple, what are your rules for conflict? Every couple is different and so every couple needs different rules. Three to five rules are enough. Spending half an hour coming up with a list is an excellent use of quality time with the person you love. Set some time aside at a time that both agree to and do the following:

1. Reflect for awhile on this question; "What are the top 1, 2, or 3 things that really hurt me/tick me off when we fight?" Almost everyone can come up with these things fairly easily. Some examples include:
-interrupting me
-swearing or cutting me down
-bring up things from the past that were already dealt with
-bringing up a new subject before dealing with the first one
-raising your voice (or using "that" tone)
-not giving me space when I ask for it/pursuing me when I need space

2. From these things you can find something to make into a specific rule. For instance:
-No interrupting (if someone does and it's pointed out, they have to apologize)
-No bring bringing up new subjects until the first one is finished.

3. After both people suggest a potential rule or two, they are discussed. Both people must agree to them or else they can't be part of the rules. Then, each member of the couple makes a commitment to the other person to honor these rules, no matter what. Two wrongs don't make a right and even if the other person is breaking all the rules, the other person needs to honor them. These rules have to be set in stone. They are not wishes, they are are rules to protect the relationship from harm.

4. Begin observing your rules. Be patient with each other as new habits (like observing rules during conflict) take time to become consistent. During this phase it is so important to not rebel against your partner if they slip up and break a rule. You must be committed to these rules no matter what. You can't control the other person - only yourself. If both people slip up, it's not the end of the world, they just need to debrief what happened and recommit themselves. If one or both people can't consistently honor their own rules, then sitting down with a counselor might be necessary.

Jobina and I had to sit down a few years into our marriage and come up with some rules. We didn't really know what we were doing and it took awhile, but now the rules hardly ever are brought up because they have become a natural part of lives. Of course we each have our slips every now and then but overall angry conflict is a much rarer occurrence. Combined with following the Policy of Joint agreement (see the link) rules for conflict really reduce arguements and shorten conflict - with better results. I'm curious to hear other people's experiences with rules for conflict and also to hear any good rule that you have heard of or use. Share the wealth!

Book Review: The Island of Doctor Moreau

2010-11-17T09:42:00.000-08:00

Book Review: The Island of Doctor Moreau by H.G. Wells

I thought I would add a little more variety from my reading this week by going down to the local library and wandering aimlessly until I have found four random books that looked interesting. The first book I cracked open when I got home was this one from H.G. Wells. It is a strange tale, even for someone like Wells who is well known for some of his more well known fiction (War of the Worlds, The Invisible Man, etc.). The Island of Doctor Moreau is a difficult book to describe without giving away too much of the plot. It is the story of young naturalist named Edward Pendrick who through a series of unfortunate events becomes shipwrecked. Barely surviving his ordeal he finds himself on a dark and mysterious island, ruled by a cunning and demented genius known as Dr. Moreau. The entire time while reading the book, Wells hints at things not right and you are haunted by a feeling of eerie discomfort as the foreboding grows. Make no mistake, this is a disturbing novel. I finished reading it and felt like Wells had approached a line of horror, crossed over it, and then pulled back just enough to make you feel thoughtful and uneasy for the remainder of the book. Not sure if I'd read it again, but definitely an interesting mixture of survival, fantasy, and horror genres. Not for children, I rate it 3.4 ninja stars out of 5.

The Black Hole

2010-11-16T08:40:00.000-08:00

“If depression is creeping up and must be faced, learn something about the nature of the beast: You may escape without a mauling.”
-Dr. R. W. Shepherd

My church is doing a short series on the black hole of depression. An interesting choice of subjects I daresay! Since most people will have at least one period of short term minor depression and one in every 5 or 6 will experience a period of major depression over their lives, it seemed a good topic to speak about in church. Too often Christians who are struggling with depression don't get compassion from their fellow believers, they get this instead:

1. "You need more faith, what's wrong with you?"
2. "Why can't you just snap out of it?"

The stigma that goes with depression is hard enough to persevere through without Christians shooting their wounded in this way. I'm really proud of our church for presenting a seminar this coming Saturday on Depression and Mental Illness. It will focus on the why of depression, the challenges it brings, and what can be done about it. The presenter will be Dr. Mervin Van Der Spuy, one of my former professors at Providence Theological Seminary who is very knowledgeable about this topic. He has a specialization in psychopharmacology (the study of medicine/psychology to help those struggling with mental illness and problems in living). The seminar goes from 9am-12 noon at Cornerstone Alliance Church in Winnipeg and there will be time at the end for an extended Q and A session with our speaker. If you are looking for more information on how to help someone with depression/mental illness or perhaps you are wondering about assistance options for yourself, feel free to come check it out. Mervin is an expert on medication/drug options for helping with mental illness and is a fascinating speaker.

Book Review: I Will Teach You To Be Rich

2010-11-14T19:14:00.000-08:00

Book Review: I Will Teach You To Be by Ramit Sethi

I purchased this book for a specific purpose. I am always looking for resources for premarital counselling. I usually reccomend "The Wealthy Barber" for young couples looking to master their finances as I find it easy to read and very helpful. But for some people, the Wealthy Barber is still too much information (as easy to read as it is). And so after poking around on Ramit Sethi's excellent blog, I took a chance and ordered this book to see if it could be an even easier resource for couples to read and implement. For the most part, this book was exactly what I hoped it would be.

The book's angle is that it is written for 20 somethings by a 20 something (an ego filled, very confident 20 something). It is not written for couples per se, but many of the values espoused by Sethi work for singles or couples. The book is structured into a six week action program to take control of your financial life and put you on the automatic track to retiring rich:

Week 1: Optimize Your Credit Card. Sethi teaches you what kind of credit cards to get, how many, how to negotiate with credit companies, how to get rid of charges from them, and especially how to get out of credit card debt
Week 2: Beat The Banks. The focus is on how to get the best deal on your banking, how to choose a good bank, how to set up chequing/savings accounts, and how to set up an online investing account. Sethi doesn't like many banks but loves credit unions.
Week 3: Get Ready To Invest. Since this is an American book he talks about setting up your 401(k) and Roth investment accounts (Canadians will substitute similar accounts such as RRSP's and TFSA's), and coming up with a plan to pay off debt. I like how he counters young people's objections for not investing.
Week 4: Conscious Spending. Track your spending, optimize your spending, create a conscious spending plan (instead of a budget), track your saving/spending/investing. For anyone struggling with budgeting, this chapter alone is worth the price of the book I'd say.
Week 5: Save While Sleeping. Integrate you automatic saving, automate your bill payments, etc.
Week 6: Investing Isn't Only For Rich People. Figure out your investing style, research your investments, start buying your investments (and set up automatic monthly payments of more).

There is a lot of great stuff in this book. Except for the American stuff that doesn't fit our Canadian context, it is all super practical. All of it. The book is all action. Sethi is an interesting author - his humor is corny and he crudely cuts down any idea he things is worthless (and yes, he does this often) but his reasons for doing it are presented so straightforwardly that it's difficult to disagree with (or fault him too much for it). If you are looking for a no-nonsense, all practical, specific advise system for managing your finances then this book deserves a look. What did I get out of it? First, his view of financial "experts" as being useless as fewer then 25% can even beat the market consistently and how you can use index funds is a complete revelation (and is backed by hard statistics). I also really liked his positive and simplified approach to budgeting (essentially his idea of budgeting is not really budgeting at all). Lastly, overall his book is super empowering - he makes it seem extremely simple for you to manage your own finances and doesn't pull punches about what he sees as "stupid" money management by many in his generation. I rate this book 4.4 ninja stars out of 5. If you are in your 20's and would like to borrow this book of me, I'd be happy to borrow it to you for a month so I can get other people's impressions before I use it extensively with others.

Book Review: People of The Deer

2010-11-12T08:46:00.000-08:00

Book Review: People of The Deer by Farley Mowat

I didn't want to read this book but as I have this challenge going on right now . . . well, I picked it up. Apparently (not sure if this is true, but it's Mowat's first book. It's a book of one man's expedition and falling in love with the People of the deer, the inland eskimos who inhabit the barrens of the arctic. In many ways it is a tragedy. The inland Inuit of Canada's north in the mid/late-1940s suffered disease, starvation, and neglect by the rest of Canada. Mowat ends up finding and chronicling the fascinating people known as the Ilhamiut, or People of the Deer. Mowat tells a sad story of how an entire culture of people were set up to become dependent on white men -trading their spears and deer for guns and fox pelts- only to be abandoned when the money went (literally) south and they were left with neither the tools (ammunition) or knowledge (traditional deer hunting techniques) that they needed to fight off hunger and its attendant companion, disease. He eventually learns their language before going off on a long canoe trip to help a biologist peer find the caribou. Many crazy and unexplained things happen along the way, some which may make the hair on your neck stand up. Apparently this book was very helpful in bringing the plight of the Inuit to light for the general Canadian public. I most enjoyed the story of a culture that no longer exists. Mowat carefully shares both the good and bad points of it and you can't help but fall in love with them yourself. He gets almost a little too poetic at points (for my taste) but I enjoyed the book overall. I'd give it 4.1 ninja stars out of 5.

Real Accountability

2010-11-11T09:41:00.001-08:00

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."
-Proverbs 27:17

I am convinced that men crave and need accountability but very few ever truly experience it. Accountability (my definition) is choosing to be real with someone and inviting them to consistently ask you tough questions about where you are at in your life, holding you to the standard that you ask to be held at.

Notice that my definition puts the onus on the one wanting accountability. Accountability forced on someone doesn't work long term. Real accountability must be embraced for it to work. When I meet with couples in premarital counselling I will ask them where things are at in their physical relationship but when it comes to further accountability I offer it but don't demand it. It is a courageous path and it must be freely chosen. And when it is, it is a beautiful thing.

Someone shared with me recently about how they wanted to ask for deeper accountability from some friends but they were afraid. First, they were afraid to ask. It's hard to ask someone for such a big commitment of time, engergy, and potentially awkward questions. We naturally feel bad to put someone into that situation. Secondly, we are afraid to be truly real. If I ask someone to ask me the tough questions then I will actually have to answer them! I don't know about you but admitting doubt, impure thoughts/actions, sin, etc is not very fun. I want people to think well of me. Thirdly, accountability is tough because if someone asks us the tough questions and we answer honestly then we then feel the need to take action. Choosing to change something that we know is wrong can be incredibly difficult. Lastly, accountability takes time and hey, we have such busy lives, right?

Yet, if we really want to grow, if we really want to mature, if we really want to throw off sinful behaviors and replace them with Christ-like ones then choosing the way of accountability is where it is at. It is the road less travelled. Personally, I have only experienced consistent, chosen accountability for a few very short times in my life but wow, were they ever powerful! The iron of my soul was sharp. My prayer is that someday I am courageous and blessed enough to find it again. How about you?

Doing the Unexpected

2010-11-10T08:28:00.000-08:00

Check out this super cool video: of a simple and brilliant play by the football team of Driscoll Middle School from Corpus Christi, TX:

There are almost always more then one way to solve a problem. Creativity is the ability to think of new solutions to riddles and problems and sometimes the best ones are the ones far outside the box. A few things that we can learn from the above video:

-Sometimes the opposite of what we think will work will work.
-Working harder is not always the solution, but doing something different is.
-To try something different means taking a risk.
-Sometimes the solution is not in something complex , but simple.

Whether it is following God, improving a relationship, investing in your future, working a job, or anything else, doing something different then what is expected, popular, or the norm may be your wisest course of action. What's the worst that could happen if it doesn't work? May we all be courageous enough to try the unexpected today.

Fruit and Passion

2010-11-09T06:59:00.000-08:00

This is not a post about a store (sorry ladies!). It's about faith.

How do you know if a Christian is close to God? I was asking someone this the other day and they told me they thought it was excitement. Passion, in other words. I have heard this answer many times. "Wow, that guy is really pumped for God!" or "Wow, that girl is really on fire!" The more excitement shown the more spiritual the person. And if you don't have passion, look out. Something is definitely wrong! For many of us passion = spirituality.

We all desire to have passion in our relationship with God (I know I do). But I wonder, what if we changed the question a little and said this: How do you know if a Christian has become "mature," "fully grown," etc? I don't think the answer would be passion. The way I read the Bible the answer would be fruit and obedience:

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." - Galatians 5: 23-34

In my mind fruit is much more important then passion. Passion (or zeal) by itself is not good (Rom 10:2). Now I'm not saying it's a bad thing. In fact in Romans 12:11 we told to "Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord." You can be zealous without being obedient. And you can definitely be zealous (or passionate) without having fruit.

Fruitless passion . . . sucks. We have all seen and experienced it. Zeal without love does so much damage. Passion without joy is downright scary sometimes. Being on fire but not having self-control eventually leads a person to very bad places. I find myself quick to judge my fellow Christ followers sometimes and I need to be careful of that. So many of the external things I treasure (like passion) become super important and the most important things (fruit and obedience) are minimized and ignored. Imagine if we hired and followed our leaders, not based on their passion but on the spiritual fruit that their lives displayed? Fruit doesn't lie and you can't fake it (at least for any length of time). Look for the fruit in yourself and others. This is what I'm learning right now.

Story: The Mexican Fisherman

2010-11-08T10:48:00.000-08:00

I really enjoyed this story when I read it in The Four Hour Work Week recently:

An American businessman was standing at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish.

“How long it took you to catch them?” The American asked.

“Only a little while.” The Mexican replied.

“Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?” The American then asked.

“I have enough to support my family’s immediate needs.” The Mexican said.

“But,” The American then asked, “What do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life, senor.”

The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds you buy a bigger boat, and with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats.”

“Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the consumers, eventually opening your own can factory. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But senor, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15-20 years.”

“But what then, senor?”

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO (Initial Public Offering) and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions.”

“Millions, senor? Then what?”

The American said slowly, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos…”

Book Review: The Four Hour Work Week

2010-11-06T09:31:00.000-07:00

Book Review: The Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris

This is a crazy book written by a crazy man. But I liked it.

There is outside of the box thinking and then there is really outside of the box thinking. Tim Ferris is beyond even that! His book is a slap to the American dream - a new dream for people who wish to experience life before retirement. Yes, he really does show you how some people can live like kings and only work four hours a week. For someone like myself I wouldn't be able to remain a counselor and only work 4 hours but I could certainly cut the amount of time I work down substantially by following his crazy principles. Speaking of which after I'd read the first 60 pages I was so in shock by the radicalness of his ideas that I wondered if I was open minded enough to accept that they could be possible! That does not happen often for me. Ferris teaches:

•How he went from $40,000 per year and 80 hours per week to $40,000 per month and 4 hours per week (yes he actually did this and shows you how).
•How to outsource your life to overseas virtual assistants for $5 per hour and do whatever you want (almost anyone can afford a virtual assistant - even me).
•How blue-chip escape artists travel the world without quitting their jobs
•How to eliminate 50% of your work in 48 hours using the principles of a forgotten Italian economist (even the greatest skeptic in the world would benefit from his super radical time management techniques)
•How to trade a long-haul career for short work bursts and frequent “mini-retirements” (this is maybe the most amazing idea)

This is a guy who questions everything and does the opposite. His approach to life is simple and can be used by employees and entrepreneurs alike. Using the acronym D.E.A.L. he talks about:

(D)efinition: Figure out what you want, get over your fears, see past society’s “expectations”, and figure out what it will really cost to get to where you want. It can be surprisingly cheap, costing less than what you’re paying now.

(E)limination is about Time Management, or rather about NOT managing time. Instead, apply the 80/20 rule to focus only on those tasks that contribute the majority of benefit. Also apply it ruthlessly to all aspects of your life to eliminate the small minority of factors that waste 80% (or more) of your time. Forget time management, focus instead on getting the really important and results-producing tasks done. There’s a difference, Ferriss says, between efficiency and effectiveness - choose to be effective!

(A)utomation is all about building a sustainable, automatic source of income. This is a section that is, practically speaking, about Business and Business management. The trick is to avoid is building a business that requires your presence, because that just burns up all your time. Ferriss made that mistake once, generating lots of monthly revenue but ended up being chained to the machine to keep it working. Ferriss now has hundreds of people working on his behalf through multiple outsourced vendors, all operating under specific instructions that are designed to not create headaches for him while depositing those lovely monthly checks.

(L)iberation: Once you’ve successfully automated your lifestyle, liberate yourself from your geographical location and your job. It’s a lot easier than you think, once you’ve gotten through the previous three steps. With mobility comes the ability to leverage economic advantages across the world. Living in a tropical paradise and eating at 5-star restaurants everyday can be cheaper than watching TV in your house back.

I certainly don't agree with everything in this book but I plan to start using his principles for elimination starting next week and will try some of the other principles in the new year. The biggest thing I got out of this book was that "work hard for 40 years then retire and live off your savings" is not the best way to go about life. Time is more valuable then money. You don't have to be a millionaire to have freedom and flexibility in your life now. To enjoy those things now though I will have to not do what everyone else is and try something different. This realization is both incredibly freeing and a little scary as well (I'm pretty sure I terrified Jobina as I read selections from this book to her). This book is not for everyone and the author is occasionally a bit crude but it was absolutely fascinating and mind blowing. With that in mind, I rate it 4.6 ninja stars out of 5.

Slow Dance

2010-11-05T15:51:00.000-07:00

S L O W D A N C E (David L. Weatherford)

Have you ever watched kids
on a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain
slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down
Don’t dance so fast

Time is short
The music won’t last

Do you run through each day
On the fly

When you ask “How are you?”
Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done,
do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores
running through your head?

You’d better slow down
Don’t dance so fast

Time is short
The music won’t last

Ever told your child,
We’ll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,
not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die

‘Cause you never had time
To call and say “Hi”?

You’d better slow down
Don’t dance so fast

Time is short
The music won’t last

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift….Thrown away…

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower

Hear the music
Before the song is over.

Alternative Investing Opportunity

2010-11-04T12:31:00.000-07:00

Ah, the wacky world of investing! For anyone in the Winnipeg/Manitoba area who has an extra $5000 or more kicking around with nothing to do and you'd like to earn 24% annual interest on it, I know of an opportunity that you might be interested in learning about. It's an alternative investment in a company that is expanding its operations and is looking for some capital. Your money is locked in for one year but you get interest cheques every three months. Essentially you are loaning them your money for a year and they are agreeing to repay it every three months (so 4 times per year). The interest they pay is 2% a month, so you would get cheque for 6% of your principal once a quarter. Some examples:

$5000 investment = $100 per month (or $1200 after 365 days)
$10000 investment = $200 per month (or $2400 after 365 days)
$50000 investment = $1000 per month (or $12000 after $365 days)

Like most alternative investments it's a limited time offer and the broker I use expects it to be filled up by the end of the year so if you'd like me to get you more info then leave your email in the comments or if you know my email you can contact me directly.

Alternative investments are one of several great places to park your "pay yourself first" money. Investing such saved monies is crucial to a) avoid spending it when your will power gets low & b) letting it grow exponentially to serve yourself/others. Of course there is risk in any kind of investing but I would argue that there is more risk in not investing as you will someday need that money. You can't afford not to take some risks! I used to be quite closed to investing in anything but real estate but now I'm open to much more. Stay tuned for an update at the end of the year on my stock investing experiment.

Tecnical Optimism

2010-11-03T21:31:00.000-07:00

Book Review: When The Game Is Over It All Goes Back In The Box

2010-11-02T19:03:00.000-07:00

Book Review: When The Game Is Over It All Goes Back In The Box by John Ortberg

Whew, what can I say. This book hit me hard. I'm not sure if it would hit most people that way, but without being overly dramatic lets just say this book restored my moral compass. Seriously.

The book uses a metaphor of a game to describe how to play the game of life successfully in God's eyes. It's a difficult book to describe as it hits alot of interconnected topics. I think in many ways it would be a good book for any extremely driven person or those who struggle with trying to impress people, materialism, or confusion about their purpose. Ortberg is an amazing storyteller and while none of the concepts that he gave were really new to me they were presented in such compelling & well chosen stories that they felt like a breath of fresh air to me (or alternatively a slap to the face - either way it woke me up).

I have been reading a lot of books on financial matters recently and this book helped to not just balance them but put them in their place. I highly recommend this book. There are three chapters that by if you could read just one of them it would easily be worth the cost of the whole book. I suspect that this book hit me so hard because of where I'm at in my deeper life, but I found I couldn't read more then a chapter a day as I wanted to reflect on each important point that Ortberg shared. For shock value make sure you read the chapter on The Shadow Mission - prepare for awkward looks if you read it at your co-ed small group. I rate it 4.9 ninja stars out of 5 for it's big picture excellence and easy readability.

To Honor The Self

2010-11-01T11:10:00.000-07:00

The following is an excerpt from Honoring The Self, a book on self-esteem by Nathaniel Branden:

"Of all the judgments that we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves, for that judgment touches the very center of our existence.

. . . No significant aspect of our thinking, motivation, feelings, or behavior is unaffected by our self evaluation . . .

The first act of honoring the self is the assertion of consciousness; the choice to think, to be aware, to send the searchlight of consciousness outward toward the world and inward toward our own being. To default on this effort is to default on the self at the most basic level.

To honor the self is to be willing to think independently, to live by our own mind, and to have the courage of our own perceptions and judgments.

To honor the self is to be willing to know not only what we think but also what we feel, what we want, need, desire, suffer over, are frightened or angered by - and to accept our right to experience such feelings. The opposite of this attitude is denial, disowning, repression - self repudiation.

To honor the self is to preserve an attitude of self-acceptance - which means to accept what we are, without self-oppression or self-castigation, without any pretense about the truth of our own being, pretense aimed at deceiving ourselves or anyone else.

To honor the self it to live authentically, to speak and act from our innermost convictions and feelings.

To honor the self it to refuse to accept unearned guilt, and to do our best correct such guilt as we may have earned.

To honor the self is to be committed to our right to exist which proceeds from the knowledge that our life does not belong to others and that we are not here on earth to live up to someone else's expectations. To many people, this is a terrifying responsibility.

To honor the self is be in love with our own life, in love with our possibilities for growth and for experiencing joy, in love with the process of discovery and exploring our distinctively human potentialities.

Thus we can begin to see that to honor the self it to practice selfishness in the highest, noblest, and least understood sense of that word. And this, I shall argue, requires enormous independence, courage and integrity."

The greatest command it to love God with all our hearts, soul, mind, and strength. And the second is to love our neighbors as ourselves. May we all have the courage to do so.

Does Your Team Have The HOTS?

2010-10-28T11:04:00.000-07:00

I recently read about the HOTS concept in the One Minute Millionaire (see my review here). HOTS stands for:

Hare - Creative Types, but bad at follow-through.
Owls - Planners and go-getters.
Turtles - Cautious Types who point out issues.
Squirrels - Details oriented person who get the job done.

(Want to know what kind of "animal" you are? Try this quick test and feel free to share if you agree or not in the comments).

The theory is that for a team of any kind to create success, the more balanced it is in these kind of personality types the better. Too much of one thing is not good. Each animal type one has it’s own strengths to leverage to make the team successful. For a more in depth description of the different animal type, check out this link. Then I invite you to take the quick quiz to see what kind of animal you are here. Interestingly enough, I am definitely a hare. I love ideas, brainstorming, creative challenges, out of the box thinking, etc.

What's also interesting is that while I am a hare, my wife is a turtle. While I love nothing then to brainstorm creative ideas (I find this fun), Jobina enjoys finding and pointing out potential problems in everything I come up with! We grappled with this early on in our marriage and while it was initially discouraging for me, I have come to peace with it. I now see it as an added challenge to come up with ideas that she can't easily crush - then I know they have some real potential! When I chose to see her "pointing-out-the-flaws" nature as a good way to make my idea generation even better then I became much happier. Interesting stuff! If you'd like to see how to apply this theory to your team, check out this chart.

Book Review: The One Minute Millionaire

2010-10-27T10:33:00.000-07:00

Book Review: The One Minute Millionaire by Mark Hansen & Robert G. Allen

I chuckled when I first saw the title to this book but when I opened it up, I just happened to turn to a page that intrigued me so much that I had to add it to my "future reads" list. If you have an entrepreneur’s heart you would probably love this book. It is compelling, practical, and inspiring. It is written by two millionaires, Mark Victor Hansen is the guy behind all those “Chicken Soup For the Soul” books and Robert G. Allen is famous for his “No Money Down” real estate books. The book is separated into two parts – mirroring the left and right side of the brain.

The right side pages are a story of a girl named Michelle. Michelle has lost everything important to her until she meets a striking older business lady named Sam. Sam becomes Michelle’s wealth-making mentor and helps her to attempt an impossible sounding task – to make a million dollars in 90 days! If she fails, the consequences will destroy her and everything she holds dear. I was actually on the edge of my seat as I read this side of the book first and although the writing is nothing special felt myself getting emotionally involved in the storyline. I enjoyed it enough that I shared it with my wife Jobina and she also read and enjoyed it.

The left hand side of the book is the “how to” side that shares the authors’ unique philosophy and tactics to make money. They refer to themselves as “enlightened” millionaires. This is partly because of the unique, borderline new age approach they apply as well as the fact that they have high ethical standards on how to do business and what to do with money. I liked how they started off this section reminding readers that money is not the most important thing, in fact it is several places down their priority list. Yet it is still important and they have a generous approach to sharing it. For Christians many parts of this book may make you feel uncomfortable but I just skimmed over such parts to get to the “meat.” And there is plenty of it. Using four main profit vehicles; real estate, business, the internet, and investments the authors show you how it is indeed possible to make a million dollars in a very short period of time.

The biggest thing I pulled out of this book was probably the importance of multiple streams of income – not depending on one thing to provide you with cashflow. I also pulled out the importance of having a team approach to making money – how important other people are to increase leverage and thus increase profits. Both of these points hit home to me through the story of Michelle. I really enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone who seems to have a gift or passion for wealth building– or wants to. I give it 4.4 ninja stars out of 5.

A Book A Week Challenge Update

2010-10-26T06:46:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me the other day how my A Book A Week self-challenge is going. Well right now I think I have about 19 books left to read by the end of the year. So I’m a little (OK, maybe a fair amount) behind but I think it will be pretty close. I’m going to read hard this week and then hopefully do two a week for the last two months of the year. It has been a very interesting experience so far! A few things I’ve noted:

-It is easier for me to read the books then to write the reviews – in fact my loathing of writing book reviews (a necessary step for me in this challenge) sometimes holds me back from reading more!

-A book a week is almost too much for me if I’m reading lots of deep books. Some books need more time to be reflected on. One way I found to alleviate this issue is to alternate reading deep books and non-deep/fiction books.

-I can’t approach reading as a discipline – instead I need to approach it as me being making time to feed my passion for it. Reading needs to be my faithful servant, not my demanding master.

-I can’t be reading more then three books at a time (2 is my comfortable limit) if I want to really enjoy the experience. Therefore I actually have to discipline myself to not pick up new books until the others are done! This is very difficult.

-Variety is the spice of life – and I’ve noticed that the more variety in the books I read the happier I am, the more I read, and the more I learn.

Book Review: Switch

2010-10-25T08:46:00.000-07:00

Book Review: Switch - How To Change Things When Change Is Hard by Chip and Dan Heath

This book blew me away! It occured to me as I read it book how deeply I am immersed in the idea of change - as a counselor, as a Christian, as an investor, as a husband, etc. In many ways my whole life is about change! And perhaps that's what brought me to this book. I am deeply curious about why I don't change the things I want to, why it's so difficult to get other people to change, and what is it that has helped some people make great changes. I would say that this book has give me answers to all of those questions - and more.

The book is built around this metaphor which discusses the tension between our planner (rational) side and our doer (emotional) side:

"But to us, the duo’s tension is captured best by an analogy used by University of Virginia psychologist, Jonathan Haidt in his wonderful book The Happiness Hypothesis. Haidt sayss that our emotional side is the Elephant and our rational side is the rider. Perched atop the Elephant, the Rider holds the reins and seems to be the leader. But the Rider’s control is precarious because the Rider is so small relative to the Elephant. Anytime the six-ton Elephant and the Rider disagree about which direction to go, the Rider is going to lose. He’s completely overmatched.

Most of us are all too familiar with situations in which our Elephant overpowers our Rider. You’ve experienced this if you’ve ever slept in, overeaten, dialed up your ex at midnight, procrastinated, tried to quit smoking and failed, skipped the gym, gotten angry and said something you regretted, abandoned your Spanish or piano lessons, refused to speak up in a meeting because you were scared, and so on.”

The authors then describe how to do three things that are essential for change whether you want to see personal change in your self, your organization, or the world. You must direct the rider, motivate the elephant, and guide the path. The book shares completely amazing stories of people doing just that. Such as a group of lowly medical interns who manage to defeat an entrenched, decades-old medical practice that was endangering patients. Or the home-organizing guru who developed a simple technique for overcoming the dread of housekeeping and the manager who transformed a lackadaisical customer-support team into service zealots by removing a standard tool of customer service. The genius of the book is that it makes often mysterious forces clear and understandable. I was very inspired after reading this excellent book and will go over it again in early 2011. I rate it 4.7 ninja stars out of 5.

Book Review: You Have What It Takes

2010-10-21T18:54:00.000-07:00

Book Review: You Have What It Takes by John Eldredge

This will be a short review because, well, this book is very short. 53 pocket book sized pages to be exact. Essentially it's a short and condensed version of Eldredge's most famous work Wild At Heart but aimed squarely at fathers. It's a nice brief read and gives a basic framework for understanding the biggest things boys need from their fathers - an answer to the question "Do I have what it takes?" He also shares what he considers to be the answer to the question from daughters "Am I lovely?" Eldredge talks about why men have difficulty answering these questions to their kids - most Dad's have not had their own questions answered correctly and have been wounded in their spirits while younger. Eldredge addresses this and provides an answer - be fathered by your Heavenly Father so you can then father your children. He ends with the admonition that it's never too late to start. I really enjoyed Wild At Heart and this Coles notes version is a great reminder (and encouragement) for any father needing it. I rate it 4.2 ninja starts out of 5.

Concluded: How Much Money Will Make You Happy?

2010-10-20T21:07:00.000-07:00

I often hear the saying "money won't make you happy." Unfortunately that's just not true, research confirms it:

The Price of Happiness

Of course money won't bring you deep inner joy, but happiness is another story.

Book Review: Honey, I Don't Have A Headache Tonight

2010-10-19T19:57:00.000-07:00

Book Review: Honey, I Don't Have A Headache Tonight : Help For Women Who Want To Feel More In The Mood
by Sheila Wray Gregoire

I know what you are thinking; Not another sex book! I was recently preparing for a speak to a Mom's group on the topic of "Keeping Romance Alive After Kids" and my coworker recommended this book to me to assist me in my preparation. The book is written by a woman for women. It is delightfully realistic about the challenges women face in their intimate life after having children. It addresses a lot of common obstacles to a great sex life during this life stage; time constraints, desire constraints, energy constraints, privacy constraints, etc. It is unique in that it is easily readable, aimed not at changing your spouse but changing you, and is written from a healthy Christian perspective. I like to think of it as sex help 101 for Christian moms with young kids. There were a few gems in this book and seemed especially appropriate for women who are wishing they were more affectionate in this area but feel stuck. Addressed are common roadblocks - releasing one from guilt and encouraging you to instead try some new things. A lot of women beat themselves up regarding their desire and performance while going through the young child years and it's not necessary. I rate this book 3.9 ninja stars out of 5. Good for anyone with mild to moderate discontent with intimacy after kids. For men, reading this might be helpful to understand what it's like from a woman's perspective (especially the first chapter story called "Andrea's evening of evasion!").

You Never Know What You Could Get . . .

2010-10-18T18:47:00.000-07:00

"Success is the child of audacity."
- Benjamin Disraeli

I'm very fond of reminding my wife that "you'll never know what you could get unless you ask." The reason I like this saying is that this truth never ceases to amaze me. When I was telling my friend Mike about this the other day, he reminded me of the first time I had used this in his presence. We were both walking back to our classes at Briercrest Bible College (in the sprawling metropolis of Caronport, SK). Our Dorm, Lewis Apartments was the furthest away dorm and so we had to walk past several houses to get back to our rooms. One the way we noticed a man outside his house admiring what appeared to be a brand new sports car. We talked with him and he explained that yes, he had just took possession of his shiny new car. On a whim I asked "How would you feel about me taking it for a little spin?" I didn't expect him to answer but he laughed and said "sure." A few minutes later Mike and I were driving around Caronport in a super nice sport car! All because I had the audacity to ask.

At a wedding out in Morweena this weekend I was part of something similar. The wedding was very cool and creative (congrats Jalysia and Randy!) and everyone who wanted one was given a glass bottle of coke to drink. My buddy Jay asked if we could get another one from our "waitress" who responded that she wasn't allowed to give out anymore. This was disappointing but I comically asked her if she accepted bribes. Jay seized the moment and offered her $5 if she'd get us two bottles of coke. She looked flustered and left. Jay was serious though and put a $5 bill under his empty bottle and when the waitress returned she looked even more flustered and awkward. After she left again we laughed at her discomfort and didn't expect anything else. But a few minutes later she zipped by, took the $5, and left two cold cokes for us both to drink! It was funny but also a lesson in opportunity. I made a comment, Jay took action, and the reward was some good laughs and some cold drinks. Coke tastes better when you work for it.

I saw an ad about a month ago on kijiji for a gift certificate for Falcon Trails Resort, Jobina and I's favorite get-a-way in Manitoba. The certificate was worth $1750 and the owner was asking $1500 for it. If you've ever been to Falcon Trails you know that this place is worth paying full price at, and a $200 discount off of a week during the high season is nothing to be sneezed at. I emailed her and politely asked if she'd consider an offer of $900! She countered at $1400 and I countered at $1000. She wouldn't budge from $1200 so I offered $1050 - final offer. We were at an impasse so I told her I'd look around and if I changed my mind I'd get back to her. This was about 2 weeks ago. I'd given up hope when on Friday I got an email saying that she'd woken up that morning and although she had another offer, my email was the politest and so she was willing to sell for $1050! We sealed the deal today and we were able to save ourselves $700 on our vacation for next year.

If you know me you know that I'm not very smooth, well spoken, or above average in my ability to negotiate. But I do have one trait that I'm trying to develop - audacity. The audacity to assertively ask for things - and see what happens. It's not that hard! If you have any stories on how you got something just by asking, please share them here and inspire us!

Spiritual Loneliness

2010-10-12T21:09:00.000-07:00

I spoke with a man once who described to me how him and his wife had been hurt by a Christian organization. Both had been through the ringer emotionally. Curiously, he responded by moving closer to God but his wife moved away from Him. This created a terrible feeling which he coined as "spiritual loneliness." His spiritual intimacy with his wife had been lost and he was grieving it immensely. I often think back to this conversation and reflect on this seldom spoken about marriage topic.

Spiritual loneliness is almost a sure thing when it comes to marriage. At some point you will experience it and for some couples it is mostly the norm. For couples where one person is a non-believer then it is even more felt. Sometimes spiritual loneliness is a result of powerful expectations about one's spouse and how that it disconnected from reality. Different people have different sacred pathways (or ways of connecting with God) and this can be challenging to understand and accept.

Everyone goes through periods of dry spells, doubt, and putting God on the shelf. I'm sorry but it's true. If you haven't experienced it yet you will. Life's challenges, changes, and adjustments often are shown in the fragility of our faith. And this fragility affects the marriage in powerful ways which can certainly includes spiritual loneliness.

For better or for worse includes spiritual loneliness. How to cope with it? Some try to shame their spouse, guilt them, or manipulate them. Others depress or become anxious. And some manage to persevere. Any thoughts on this topic? I want to do a speak on it someday and I'd appreciate hearing from anyone on their experiences or advice.

Book Review: The Boat Who Wouldn’t Float

2010-10-08T09:50:00.000-07:00

Book Review: The Boat Who Wouldn’t Float by Farley Mowat

This book was . . . OK. I laughed quite a bit at it, once I got used to the Newfoundland-heavy vocabulary and imagery that Mowat uses. It is his story of a truly terrible investment – a boat that he and a friend bought with great hopes. Instead of adventurous sails around the world they are met with setback and misadventures as they simply try to keep their boat above the water.

Crude in places, it nevertheless has some charm as you shake your head in amazement at Mowat’s stubornness not to give up on a vessel that truly deserved it. His many brushes with death are told in such a humorous way that you almost forget that him drowning was very much a constant possibility. For anyone thinking of buying a boat and sailing the 7 seas, you may wish to read this book. There is a kind of wisdom one can learn from the mistakes and suffering of others. Also, it is good entertainment. I rate this book 3.7 ninja stars out of 5.

Luck and Opportunity

2010-10-07T11:35:00.000-07:00

"You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - Wayne Gretzky

Recently I got lucky. Or did I?

I was at my children's school for a 50th Anniversary Tea. Basically it was a night of honoring the past staff, remembering good times, and celebrating the school in general. I was admittedly a little bored. In the foyer when we came in I noticed they were having a silent auction. There were about 25 prize packs to win with a bag next to each of them where you could put in a ticket if you purchased it. Some of the items looked pretty nice. I also noticed that there seemed to be alot of prizes for the amount of people attending. My quick guess was that there less then 150 people there, meaning that they had a gift for every 6 people. Since probably a lot of people weren't going to buy tickets that meant my odds looked good, quite good in fact. So I quickly bought 3 tickets for $5, deposited one ticket in three of the bags that looked interesting, and endured the rest of the evening (that is a whole other story which perhaps I will someday share).

The next day the principal of the school left a message on my machine - I had won something! I'd like to say I was surprised but I wasn't. The odds seemed to be too much in my favor. I asked Jobina if she'd mind stopping by the school and picking up my prize. She called me later and asked me if I wanted to know what I'd won. It turns out I had won two of the prizes (one prize was 2 bottles of wine and some chocolates, the other was a Garmin GPS and some slurpee mugs). Huzzah! The GPS alone is worth over a hundred dollars so I think this was a pretty good return on my "investment."

Did I get lucky? Absolutely. Winning two of the prizes does seem that way. On the other hand, the odds were extremely good. In fact I would have been surprised if I hadn't won something. All I did was see an opportunity, weigh the odds, and take action. I think that when it comes to investing (or relationships) you kind of have to do the same thing. Yes, there is always risk. But if you see the opportunity, carefully weigh the odds, and choose to take action then more often then not you get the prize. Each of those stages - see the opportunity, discern, take action - is critical. I have messed up on all three of these stages many times but when you do all three correctly you win much more then you lose. Question: What stage are you prone to mess up on? And what could you do about it? Being honest with ourselves (I'm weakest in the 2nd stage) is the quickest way to changing and improving ourselves . . .

Book Review: Byzantium by Stephen Lawhead

2010-10-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

Book Review: Byzantium by Stephen Lawhead

Let me begin by saying I have read this book at least 4 times. I have it in a dilapidated softcover but found a cheap hardcover version of it on Amazon for 5 bucks and decided to get it. This seems to me a book meant to be read as a hardcover. The dust jacket is beautiful and adds to the reading experience. Beware, at 646 pages this work of historical fiction is not a short read but I enjoyed almost every minute of it. It is my favorite book by this Christian fantasy author and I’d love to see it made into a movie someday.

The story is about Aidan, an Irish scribe who is chosen to go with a group of his fellow monks to deliver a great gift (The Book of Kells) to the Emperor in Byzantium. Aidan’s ship is then attacked by Danish Sea Wolves and he is captured and taken as a slave to Daneland. Through a series of tragedies and adventures Aidan eventually find himself taken to Byzantium where he experiences the intrigues of the courts of the Emperor. He is betrayed and in his search for justice his faith is shaken to its core. Finding himself eventually in the land of the Arabs, Aidan has many more adventures which culminate in him eventually returning to Byzantium to confront his destiny.

Every time I read this book I get something different out of it. There are deep questions within the story – what is God’s place and ours in finding our destiny? Why does God not act when he could? Why does he allow us to suffer? Lawhead does an excellent job of seamlessly working in historical facts and Celtic Christian tradition in a way that adds to the tapestry of the story without distracting from it. I recognized many Celtic sayings and prayers and reflected upon their meanings as I was reading. There are only a few books in my collection that I would say I’d say I couldn't live without, but this would be one for sure. Highly recommended, I rate this book 4.8 ninja stars out of 5.

Why How You Think (And Not Your Situation) Matters Most

2010-10-04T13:13:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I look at my circumstances and say "Woe is me!" Now I will think of this guy :

Thanks to Jobina for showing me this incredibly inspiring video!

Book Review: Jungle

2010-10-03T19:30:00.000-07:00

Book Review: Jungle – A Harrowing Story of Survival by Yossi Ghinsberg

A friend leant me this book and I thought that it looked promising. It’s about a young Jewish traveller’s ill planned foray into the Bolivian Jungle with some friends. There is much interpersonal tension, and some creep foreshadowing as the group begins to fragment. Then, an accident happens and the author find himself miraculously alive but very, very alone. It is then that his real adventure begins.

Jungle survival stories are usually great reading and this book did not disappoint. It starts quite slow but the tension starts to get intense by about half way through. Yossi’s ability to survive truly terrible circumstances and not give up when most would have is inspiring. There are also lessons about camaraderie, pride, preparation, and knowing the character of those whom you put your trust in.

I think the biggest thing I learned from this book involves the wisdom of not urinating in one’s pants and then going to sleep unprotected in a rainforest. I don’t want to give away what happens if you do, but let me tell you that is not nice. Read the book if you want to hear why.

The author is an “OK” storyteller but the tale he tells more then makes up for this. I rate the book 3.9 ninja stars out of 5.

Financial Tip: Ask To Have The Fee Waived

2010-09-26T19:18:00.001-07:00

File this under the "You Never Know What You'll Get Until You Ask" department:

Recently I forgot to pay off my credit card on time. Doh! Although we faithfully pay off our credit card every month occasionally we don't get it in on time. This time the result was an $80 interest charge. I was 4 days too late.

Credit card companies make money off of you not just by the interest, but by the percentage of the amount the vendor who sells you something has to pay. So even if you've never paid any late fees or had any interest charged to you they still want to retain you as a customer. If you get charged some interest, just do what I did and call them. Try asking these three things:

1. Ask them if they have received your late payment. When they say "yes" you get points with them.
2. Ask them if the late payment will affect your credit score. Most likely it will not (unless you have not paid them for several months) - feel free to express you relief from this concern.
3. Ask them politely "Is there any way you can waive the interest fees?" Most companies will check your past history for a few months or a year and if you've been a faithful customer will most likely take it off. If they provide you with any backtalk or tell you what you want is impossible try this "Are you sure? I've been a loyal customer of your company for ____ years." Some companies train their telephone staff to say no once, but if the customer insists will eventually back down.

So there you go, a little way to save yourself some money. Just ask!

P.S. If you are in the habit of not paying off your credit card account every month you are most likely paying a high interest rate. Often all it takes is a little phone call to the company letting them know that you'd like the rate reduced (and hinting that you may switch credit companies if something can't be done) and your rate will drop from double digits to something much smaller!

Just Do It

2010-09-22T08:57:00.000-07:00

Did you know that obesity is contagious? It's true. Hang around a lot of overweight people and the environment (the obese people) will have an impact on you. On the other hand, if you hang around people who are healthy and are making healthy changes then chances are you will be influenced to become healthy yourself. In the last month it seems that many of the people I know or who I read their blogs have been doing some great work to get healthier. Lots are feeling better, losing weight, and improving how they feel about themselves. This caused me to look at myself the other day and go, "Hmmmmm . . ."

I'm not terribly overweight but I am terribly out of shape. I have the stamina of a near dead sloth. Counselling is a great workout for the mind - but it's terrible for one's body. Basically I sit around a lot and it's taken it's toll on me.

Being in an environment where so many people are making changes to their health has put social influence on me to think about changes. So for the last week I've started running. Not far (or fast) mind you, but it's something. And I'm surprised but I'm actually enjoying it - and I miss it if I can't. My first goal was to do my little run without feeling chest pains! Today I achieved it for the first time. Here's a great video I saw the other day on Neatorama about someone who also decided to make a change. I hope it inspires you today:

How Important Is It?

2010-09-21T12:53:00.000-07:00

Our small group has an interesting format. Mostly we just talk about our lives - sharing them with each other and praying about them. We like to joke that we are the small group about nothing - no Bible studies, no books to read, just fellowship pure and simple. Recently we decided to add one more small component: The Question Of The Day(TM). The Question is something that I come up with, some kind of intellectual or emotional question about God, life with Him, or how we ought to live as Christ followers. Eventually the discussion comes down to how it impacts our lives.

Last week my question was this: "How important is being authentic to following Christ?" I defined being authentic as being real - being open and honest with yourself and others. We had an interesting discussion. There is no commandment to be real with other people . . . but, isn't not being real a form of deception (or lieing)? And how can you grow as a person if you aren't letting someone (or some people) know what you are truly thinking, feeling, experiencing, and wanting? Some people were honest about how the idea of being authentic made them feel - kind of scared actually. We agreed that you don't have to be fully transparent with everyone you meet (that would be quite exhausting) but definitely it's helpful to be real with someone.

How can we grow if we don't show people our true selves? If we don't allow someone into our inner world, they can't speak God's love, grace, and wisdom into it. Worse, we let all the bad thinking (thinking that needs desperately to be challenged) to just keep going around and around in our heads, unhindered. Here's a question: How authentic, how real are you with people? If you've been hurt in the past, are shy, or feel like you shouldn't need to tell people about your inner life then I'm guessing this idea is not pleasant. But how can we grow without it?

Personally I believe we all have a secret addiction to wearing masks, masks so that we don't have to show anyone what we feel we really are. I know I do it sometimes. I don't usually want people to know that I have fears, that I doubt myself, and that I do things that are contrary to my desires and ideals. Yet don't we tire of the masks? It's often scary to put them down, yet when we do we usually find a soul-renewing relief in it. After all, it takes a lot of energy to wear our masks (and the twisted thinking that comes with them). My challenge: Look at yourself. There's probably at least one thing that you wish you could talk about honestly with someone. Why not take a risk and share it with someone you think is safe? With your spouse, a friend, a family member, a counselor, a pastor. The more you share of yourself with safe people the easier it will get and the more authentic you will become. Good luck!

Book Review: Never Cry Wolf

2010-09-18T17:45:00.000-07:00

Book Review: Never Cry Wolf by Farley Mowat

It's hard not to love this book. It's set in 1948 where the author - a young hotshot biologist (and writer) joined the Dominion Wildlife Service and after enduring a several bureaucratic mishaps, was assigned to study a population of wolves in the subarctic highlands of southern Canada. Those wolves and their kin, the government biologists believed, had decimated the once huge population of large mammals in the region, so that, as one worried official put it, "more and more of our fellow citizens are coming back from more and more hunts with less and less deer." Mowat located the wolves, followed them, learned their ways, and in a way became part of the pack.

Along the way he had many adventures and not a few strange experiments such as himself eating only field mice (which he kindly includes a recipe for) after he noticed that's what the wolves did for a season. After some observation of the humans and wolves in the area he concluded that human hunters, and not wolves, were the real cause of the caribou's decline. His conclusion, he writes, was not well received in Ottawa and Winnipeg. "I received no reply," he writes, "unless the fact that the Provincial Government raised the bounty on wolves to twenty dollars some weeks afterwards could be considered a reply."

What can you say about this Canadian classic that hasn't already been said? Never Cry Wolf is the book that Mowat started out writing to make fun of government bureaucracy and instead it became a book that made fun of himself - and dryly came to the defense of what was then a much maligned animal. The popularity of Never Cry Wolf with it's pro-predator message painted such a different side of wolves then was portrayed by elsewhere that he single handedly changed the course of lupine policy in the north. This worthy book is short, humorous, fun, and has a conscience (without being at all preachy). It is truly a piece of Canadiana that you simply must read. I give it 4.5 ninja stars out of 5.

The Times, They Are A Changing

2010-09-15T21:14:00.000-07:00

I would consider myself an avid reader. Today for instance, it felt like Christmas as I unpacked my latest order from Amazon. Ah, the look and smell of new and unopened books - tis a beautiful thing! Reading is not only about the words written but is tactile and sensuous experience to me. It is like going to the movies - sure I can rent the same movie for $1.50 at Shell and watch from my couch but it's not the same experience as going to the theater. The experience is the thing.

I read in July that for the first time ever at Amazon, digital downloads of books (books designed to be viewed on an e-reader like the Kindle or the iPad) surpassed hardcover sales. News that downloaded kindle books has overtaken its hardcover brethren hit me like a kick in the teeth. According to the press release, 143 Kindle books have been sold for every 100 hardcovers in the past three months. Wow, consider me shocked.

I admit that I had watched the emergence of e-readers with bemused snobbery. I can understand that for a few people, reading a book from a screen might be appealing, but certainly not for the mainstream. How could the majority of people prefer digital to real books? Impossible!

Well, the impossible has come true. Within a year or two many expect that digital book sales in the U.S. will eclipse softcover and hardcover sales combined. Thus, the most popular medium for the printed word for over 500 years (the printed page) is about to become . . . a relic. Libraries will change as we know them. How we read will change. Everything will change. People such as myself with our book collections will be looked on as quaint and hopefully interesting. Alas! I usually embrace new technology but the eventual supplanting of printed books by digital books saddens me deeply. Yet already I feel my resolve weakening! After all, it would be kind of nice to carry my whole book collection with me all the time. And it would save them from cutting down trees. Maybe I wouldn't miss the feel of turning pages too much. Sigh. I can actually forsee myself getting a Kindle (or an iPad). It's only a matter of time . . .

Segway meets Tank

2010-09-14T13:13:00.000-07:00

You just knew someone had to think of trying this, but the actual result is quite impressive:

With a 200 cc engine and a top speed of 30mph I hope someone somewhere buys some of these and starts renting them out to wannabe daredevils such as myself to play around on . . .

Where Were You?

2010-09-11T22:17:00.001-07:00

Today I spent a bit of time reflecting on 9-11 as it was the 9 year anniversary since that terrible day. I've heard older people say that they can remember where they were when JFK was shot, or when the moon landing happened. For my generation it will definitely be 9-11. So here's my question: Where were you?

I was living in Mennville, MB at the time youth pastoring and camp directing. That morning Jobina had gone to work at the local school as an EA and I was sitting at home waiting for my friend Grant to come over. Grant and I were planning to do some mountain biking in the illustrious Howardville Pits which were a 5 minute ride from my house (ah, I miss those trails). For some reason I turned on the TV and was shocked to see a large tower smoking. I listened incredulously as the announcer talked about a plane crashing into one of the Twin Towers and then was even more shocked when the other plane hit (I saw it in real time). I remember feeling a great consternation and confusion. Was this the end of the world, some kind of sign of the end times? I found my general sense of "feeling safe" shaken as the world began to react in fear. When Grant arrived we watched for an hour and then to help calm our nerves . . . we went biking. Singletrack is almost always therapeutic.

When I think about it now I feel kind of sheepish to have felt the fear I did but I'm honest enough to admit it. Doubt creeps in pretty quickly when you are confronted with the unknown. May God bless those who lost family and friends in the attacks.