
Being a camp director for several years, one of my sacred duties was to read the Beaver Creek staff manual to our staff. This was always a favorite part of our Sunday night training (OK, not really) but one of our rules was something like this:
Staff must not spend time courting. Necessary as that may be, it must be done elsewhere. Staff are at camp to serve the Lord. Any staff that does not help to build a healthy atmosphere at camp should be expelled by the camp director. It is better to be short staffed than to be wrong staffed.In other words, no new exclusive and/or romantic relationships at camp. There are basically two approaches to the whole "dating" thing with short term ministries:
yay or nay. Beaver Creek Bible camp has always been strongly on the "nay" side.
Staff usually snickered at this rule but most did not seriously object to it (although there was plenty of mocking of it, much to do with the old English word "courting"). Some staff did honestly think it wasn't necessary and there were a few who even thought it inhumane or
unChristian. I suppose when I came on as director I could have changed that particular rule but I thought of it as a pragmatic necessity. Why the rule?
1. Exclusive romantic relationships upset team balance and often make others feel awkward.
2. Camp ministry is short term and spiritually intense. Staff need to be focused. Romantic relationships usually distract staff from their ministry to the campers. This can be subtle, as in a mental and emotional distraction. Or it can be physical as the couple find more and more time to be together and less time with their campers.
3. The appearance of evil. Staff, visitors, and campers can all have bad reactions to watching couples form in the midst of ministry opportunities.
4. Distraction to the campers.
Camp (and missions) are emotionally intense places to be. In this kind of atmosphere it is
exceedingly easy to fall in love. Seriously, do you know how many guys I've had in my office confessing to me that they are in love with the lifeguard? Or that cute LDC leader? Or even the nurse? And don't forget those wonderful kitchen helpers! I have seen it happen so many times before, a person comes to camp with every intention to give everything they have to the campers for 6 full days and mid week they are "out of it," swept along by an intense chemistry reaction to another staff member. Of course such attractions are normal and to be expected, the problem is if they are sanctioned and encouraged they can quickly get out of control. That is why most ministry teams that I have encountered also have non-dating rules. It just makes thing much easier. I even coined a great phrase which no doubt encouraged many staff: camp is a great person to meet the person of your dream but a bad place to
persue them. Oh yes, many staff have expressed great joy when they heard these wise and encouraging words!
The funny thing is that whenever we had to talk to someone about the fact that they were breaking the courting rule, they always seemed shocked. "What? No, you must be mistaken. There's no attraction here. We're
just friends." Somehow what was obvious to every other staff person escapes the view of those directly involved! Usually (I'd like to think) these people are not so much
lying as they are self-deceived. Very humorous though.
Not to say there isn't a place for people who are already dating at camp. I have seen some of the best examples of
mature and balanced dating by staff who came to camp as a couple. The way they handled it all was a witness to many. But if it was completely my choice, I will always suggest no new romantic relationships for ministry teams. I know a few other camps that operate differently (Camp
Arnes being a notable example) and I even know at least one couple who met at camp, dated at camp, and got married. These folks are the exception to the rule. And the rule is this: No courting at camp! What do you think about this topic?
P.S. The image is from our staff canoe trip from a few years ago (2004). I don't think Viola and "Slash" were courting here, but it was my best camp staff pic that kind of encapsulates the idea of it.