Remind Me Again

What does it mean to "learn" something? Does it mean you grasp the concept, remember it, apply it, master it . . . what? The reason I ask is because so often we tell ourselves (or others) that we've learned our lesson but then we go and do the same (or similar) mistakes all over again. Have we really "learned" it? I often wonder.

For instance, I've learned some very good things about relationships. Wise, insightful, solidly practical things. Or at least I thought I did cause I later act as if I hadn't. "I've learned my lesson," someone says "No more snacking after 8pm." Or maybe it's drinking coffee (or alcohol), dating someone new when you've just broken up with someone, speeding, or talking about someone behind their back. Whatever it is, we seem to have a problem with unlearning what we have learned. Or in it's shorter form "forgetting."

We are terribly forgetful people. In solution focused therapy, one of the main interventions is simply to ask "Was their ever a time that this problem wasn't there . . . or wasn't this bad?" Most people respond with a time. "What were you doing different?" Most people can say what it was they were doing that helped. "What's stopping you from doing that again?" is the final question. So often we know what works, we just stop doing it and we "forget" how we solved the problem in the past. Even if the solution was brilliant. We just need to be reminded.

I fins that I need to be reminded about several things I thought I knew. These include:
-Getting to get to sleep on time makes me less grouchy.
-Consistently spending time with God feeds my soul.
-Not having a to do list in front of me at work task hurts my efficiency.
-I need time away to keep my zest for life, ministry, and God.
-Date Nights/one on one's with my wife/kids makes me happy.
-Spending more money then I make makes me insecure.
-An hour after eating at McDonald's I will feel gross, so don't even bother.

I had a couple come in the other day and tell me that they firmly believed that for their relationship to keep on prospering they needed to see a counselor once every few months ("to check the engine") and go to at least one marriage retreat a year. Basically it was so that the could be reminded of what they had already learned. The worst thing we can do is think "Well, I've learned that now so I guess life just goes. Good for me." The discipline of regularly reminding oneself of the important things is perhaps the greatest discipline of all.

We're almost at the end of the year. What are the important things that you don't want to forget that you've learned. How can you plan your year in a way that you are reminded and inspired about them? I'm planning to use my calendar and block in a whole bunch of things that I know are important - reminder times. I'll let you know if it works!

Book Review: The 47th Samurai

Book Review: The 47th Samurai by Stephen Hunter

I borrowed this book from the library on a whim after seeing one of my clients reading it. It's a bit of departure for me - military fiction (although I used to be quite fond of Tom Clancy's older work like Hunt For Red October and Red Storm Rising). I was warned the book was ultra violent and so it was. It's billed as a "Bob Lee" story, and I found out that this is one in a series of books with the same character.

Bob Lee Swagger is a 60 year old retired marine master sniper and hero. He is sought out by Philip Yano, the son of the Japanese officer who commanded the bunker on Iwo Jima where Swagger's marine father won the Medal of Honor in 1945. Yano approaches Swagger about a missing sword wielded by his father. The sword turns out to be not just a family heirloom but a national treasure that evokes echoes from the most sacrosanct corners of Japanese history. Yano's eventually gets the sword but is then killed brutally by a mysterious group of Japanese Mafia. Lee goes to Japan and learns their ways so at to get the sword and find justice for Yano's killing.

The book has a lot of information about the samurai and samurai swords which I found to be the most interesting part of the book. Unfortunately most of the other elements of the book are simply difficult to keep believable. The plot is straightforward with a few good twists but unfortunately like many books in this genre, the characters aren't developed enough to make things believable. One almost gets the idea that the story was written in a hurry. Stephen Hunter is a pulitzer prize winning novelist so although the story doesn't flow all that great it is still entertaining, it's just not exceptional. Read it for the samurai trivia, not for it's literary value. Because it is so brutal and so crude I wouldn't read it again. To sum up, it's OK, it's just a little unbelieveable and much too crude. I give it 2.9 ninja stars out of 5.

Dreaming About Lofoten

Today I added a new place to visit: Lofoten. Lofoten is north of the Arctic Circle in Norway and is unique because of it's climate. It's kind of an Eden in the middle of the north. It has one of the largest temperature ananomolies on earth in regards to it's lattitude (due to the currents that warm it). Rarely hot, but certainly not too cold either I could see myself going out there to relax, explore, or write a book. I'm thankful to God that he created places like these and I definitely would like to visit it someday.

Link with more info and amazing pictures

Book Review: Animal Farm

Book Review: Animal Farm by George Orwell

This is such an intriguing and engaging book! Originally titled "Animal Farm: A Fairy Tale" it is an adult take on a children's tale, yet is also an allegory for totalitarianism in general and communism specifically. It's a rather cute story of some farmyard animals that overthrow their evil ruler (the farmer Mr. Jones) and liberate the farm. The way the animals adapt to their revolution and create order when they experience freedom mirrors the Russian Revolution and the rise of Stalin's communism very well. However, if you didn't know all the political symbolism, you'd find this a fun read. Ultimately this is a story about the inevitable struggle with oppression and then corruption. An initially ideal socialist society gives way to corruption and the tale becomes a page turner as the animals are lead further and further astray by their leaders.

I enjoyed the overt story as well as the covert one. It made me think - was Orwell saying that all revolutions result in totalitarianism and that all leaders tend to be corrupted? I would dearly like to ask him. The book certainly shows the ease that a large group of people can be swayed away from their original ideals - how skilled speakers can move people from laws and morals simply by appealing to their practicality with high minded explanations. This was a short book (about 100 pages) but a true classic that is easy to read. I rate it 4 ninja stars out of 5.

On Financial Intelligence

One man's views on financial intelligence, Robert Kiyosaki's reflects on his "Rich Dad's" thoughts about financial intelligence:


"Financial wisdom is not about how much money you make, it's about how much money you keep and how hard that money works for you."

Yet as time went on, he refined his definition of financial intelligence. He once said, "You know your financial intelligence is increasing if as you get older your money is buying you more freedom, happiness, health, and choices in life." He went on to explain that many people made more money as they got older, but their money only brought them less freedom - less freedom in the form of having bigger bills to pay. Having bigger bills meant the person had to work harder to pay for them. To rich dad this was not financially intelligent. He also explained that he saw many people making a lot of money, but their money did not make them happier. To him, that was not financially intelligent. "Why work for money and be unhappy?" He said, "If you must work for money, find a way to work and be happy. That is financial intelligence."

When it came to health he would say, "Too many people work too hard for money and slowly kill themselves in the process. Why work hard sacrificing the mental and physical well-being of your family as well as yourself? That is not financially intelligent." When it came to health he also said, "Three is no such thing as a sudden heart attack. Heart attacks and other diseases such as cancer take time to develop. They are caused by lack of exercise, a poor diet, and not enough joy in one's life over extended periods of time. Of the three, I think lack of joy is the greatest cause of heart attacks and disease." He said, "Too many people think about working harder rather then about how to have more fun and enjoy this great gift of life."

My rich dad went on went on to explain that financial intelligence gave a person more choices in life by saying, "Money is power because more money gives you more choices. But it was his lesson about happiness that he stressed more and more the older he got. As he neared the end of his life and had more money than he had dreamed possible, he restated again and again, "Money does not make you happy. Never think that you will be happy when you get rich. If you are not happy while getting rich, chances are you will not be happy when you do get rich. So whether you are rich or poor, make sure you are happy."

-Robert Kiyosaki, "Rich Kid, Smart Kid"

Book Review: Losing My Virginity

Book Review: Losing My Virginity - The Autobiography by Richard Branson

This is definitely one of the most fascinating biographies I have ever read. It is the story of Sir Richard Branson, hippy turned global billionaire/entrepreneur . It is the story of his life and what a life it is! Often as I was reading it I would put the book down and remark in wonder "This guy's life can't really have happened this way!" It's just so unbelievable. Branson has fit 6 people's lifetimes into one. At the age of 15 he started his own national magazine (The Student) and interviewed people like The Rolling Stones and The Beatles. Later he started a mail order music business which eventually started a music store business (Virgin Music) which eventually started a music label (Virgin Records). You'd think this would be enough but during that time he also bought a 3 million pound island for 180,000 pounds, lived on a houseboat, got married twice, and started a student help line to help students in crisis. Branson is also an adventurer and along with others has broken several records in sailing and ballooning. His ballooning adventures alone are worthy of an entire book - at one point he's on the top of his rapidly descending balloon capsule trying to decide if he'd have better chances of living by parachuting now or jumping directly into the ocean before impact. It seems like he should have died on almost all of this extreme adventures he went on!

Branson is an interesting mix of risk taker and business acumen that the world rarely sees. He has the ability to dream big, ask questions like "Why can't we do this?" and then make huge (but informed) bets that have consistently paid off during his lifetime. Was he lucky sometimes? Absolutely. But there is no question that he is a visionary and entrepreneur who has great skills in salesmanship, spotting talent, weighing risk, and creativity. His Virgin Group of companies now include several airlines, mobile phone groups, train operators, fuel producers, etc. He is a multi-billionaire who is easily bored and thrives on challenges. In many ways he is the ultimate rags to riches story and his unique ability to not let fear or greed overcome him has made him incredibly successful and inspiring.

This is a long read, and I'd say the first 80% is difficult to put down. The end gets a little slower as it is more of a chronicle of his current accomplishments which although impressive, don't quite have the daring and risk taking of his first few decades. The book does have some coarse language and some rather "risque" (rated R) stories but these are few and if you can look past this you will be inspired. I rate it 4.5 out of 5 ninja stars.

How Much Do You Trust Yourself? And How Much Do Others Trust You?

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”
-George MacDonald

An interesting exercise was offered in the pages of The Speed of Trust - take a free online trust test and see how you rate yourself. Then, if you dare, send an email out to a several people whom you know and get them to rate you in the different areas of trust. Everyone who does this does it anonymously and it only takes a few minutes.

So here's the question; I assume most people wouldn't mind doing the self test. But are you brave enough to do the 2nd part? Are you open enough to feedback to hear the truth about what people think about you? Before I give the link to the test, I'm curious to know . . .




I thought the feedback might be good and so I sent it out to between 15 and 20 people. This included family, friends, co-workers, bosses (or supervisors), ministry partners, etc. I tried to send it to people who I thought might trust me highly and those who might not. My results are below:

Personal Credibility Score & Report (this was my own rating of myself in the different trust areas):

Integrity: 83%
Intent: 63%
Capability: 83%
Results: 63%
Others Trust Me: 63%
Character: 73%
Competence: 73%

Personal Credibility Index: 70%

Here's What Others Say (the average of people who filled it out for me - thanks by the way if that was you!)

Character: 92%
Competence: 89%
Others Trust You: 94%
You Consistently Interact in a Way that Builds Trust: 92%
Your "Trustability" with Others: 92%

Aggregate (combination of personal and others) Personal Credibility Index: 82%

I enjoyed the exercise and I was a bit reassured to see that others thought of me as more trustworthy then I thought of myself, but I want to increase everything (especially competence) up higher. Seem like a good exercise? If you'd like to do it, the link to the website is below:

www.whotrustsyou.com

Book Review: The Speed of Trust

Book Review: The Speed of Trust by Stephen M. R. Covey

Sometimes you read a book that you didn't know you needed to. This was that book for me.

For the past little while I've felt a growing discontent with the ethical part of myself. Yet I couldn't pinpoint what was wrong. This book helped me to see it. And the issue was trust. This excellent book shows how important trust is - trusting yourself and others. Though mostly a business/organizational book, I was most impressed with the personal application. To Covey, trust is a mix of two essential elements - character (or integrity) and competence (results). To truly trust yourself or someone else you need to have both. He gets much more technical then this, but I realized as I was reading that the reason I was losing "trust" in myself was that I was setting goals for myself and not achieving them (competence) as well as telling people I'd do things but not completing them (character). As such, my self-trust was quietly and slowly eroding. And of course I didn't feel good about it.

Covey's understanding of trust and why it is so important (saveing time/money by the way) was just what I needed to hear. He has very practical ideas on what he calls "smart trust" which helps to extend trust generously but carefully to others. I'm definitely going to read this book again . . . it's application is in every area of our lives. As spouses, parent's, employees, employers, board members, etc trust is necessary and makes life easier. As a Christ-follower I want to be someone who trusts wisely and joyfully. Highly recommended at 4.6 ninja stars out of 5.