On Guard

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
-Proverbs 4:23

A few weeks ago in my church John Neufeld, a former counselor and pastor, spoke on this verse. Solomon (the wisest man who ever lived) believed that the most important thing above all else was to guard your heart. I remember in Seminary being taught that in the Jewish understanding of things, the heart wasn't separate from the soul and mind - they are all one entity. As followers of God guarding our hearts is one of the most important things we can do.

So how do we do this? John had a fairly simple sermon which suggested three ways to guard our hearts:

1. Read the words of God.
2. Memorize the words of God.
3. Meditate on the words of God.

Disappointed? I was a bit. But as he explained how powerful these practices were I was very moved. He shared about how in his decades of counselling he has never counselled a couple in trouble where both people read the Word on a daily basis! Of course he admitted this was possible, he has just never seen it. He also talked about how if you know how to worry, you can meditate. So for the last week and half I have been memorizing Proverbs 4:23 (I'm a fast reader and slow memorizer) and reading/meditating on Psalm 119. I'm trying to get into the habit of guarding my heart, above all else.

There was something about this simple, almost old-fashioned sermon that touched me very deeply. I fought back tears - something I don't do a lot in church and a sign to me that God was saying something important to me. I need to start guarding my heart and reading his Word more consistently, making it a higher priority again. And already I have noticed a difference. I feel more sensitive to sin and my own predisposition to it. I'm becoming more careful, more on guard of things that could hurt my heart. Thanks John for a sermon I needed to hear . . .

Excitedly Supportive

"While many men and women may not realize it, we never really outgrow the deep need we have for our loved ones to be excitedly supportive of our interests. What this means in a marriage is that the sunlight of security can shine on a marriage when we show an active interest in our loved one's life.

This was brought home to me in a tangible way when I first met a couple who became special friends. He was a huge offensive lineman for an NFL team when we first me, and his wife was perhaps 5'4" in heels. On the basis of size alone, there probably wasn't a more oddly matched pair. But in terms of their shared interests, this couple was only a heartbeat apart.

I met them at a Pro Athlete's Outreach Conference and was fascinated with a conversation we had at lunch one day. Out of curiosity, I asked this NFL wife how much she knew about the position her husband played on his team. I expected her to say something like, "Oh, he's paid to stand in front of other people." Instead, she gave me a ten minute presentation on offensive blocking techniques.

Taken aback by her grasp of the sport, I asked how she'd become such an expert on her husband's position on the team. That's when she gave me a real-life lesson on what it does to become one's spouse's biggest fan - by becoming a graduate student of their likes and dislikes. She explained that when they were first married, she resented the time he spent on the practice field, she resented all the team meetings and the travel. Finally, she grew tired of feel so negative all the time, and she decided to go on the offensive. She would stop throwing spit-balls from the back row, and get up in the front row and learn about this career that she resented so much.

She began to ask her husband all sorts of questions about playing on the line for a pro team. She even cornered a few of the assistant coaches to learn more intricate details of the game. The more she learned and read, the more of an encourager she became. That's when a funny thing happened.

As her level of encouragement and interest went up, she noticed their marriage improving. While it wasn't her goal to get anything from her husband in return, he began showing more than a passing interest in her likes and dislikes. What this wise woman had done was to push back the dark clouds of resentment to let the sunlight of security shine on her marriage. She didn't try to "coach" her husband, but her knowledge and interest in his life said clearly, "Because you're so important to me, your interests are important to me, too."

At the end of our conversation, my huge pro-football friend made a comment I've never forgotten: "Sometime I'll have to tell you how much my wife's taught me about refinishing antiques. I wouldn't be surprised if learning about one her big interests is where I end up after football." For this couple, being committed to each other meant showing interest in the things they individually valued. The message came over loud and clear that because of that, the felt secure in each other's love and commitment."

-As told by Gary Smalley in "Love Is A Decision"

Flying Hovercraft

Rudy Heeman is an inventive museum mechanic who threw this flying hovercraft together in his free time. I have always loved hovercraft, I so much want one of these!

Book Review: Call Of The Wild

Book Review: Call of The Wild by Jack London

I'm a big Jack London fan. Even though he was a gambler and chronic drinker he produced some of the best adventure fiction ever written by an American author. When I was a kid I read "White Fang" several times, which is Call of the Wild's prequel. London was a prolific writer who wrote over 20 novels and many more short stories over his career. His style is simple, creative, and playful.

Call of the Wild picks up where White Fang left off. White Fang's son ("Buck") is kidnapped and shipped to Alaska to be used as a sled dog during the Gold Rush. It is an adventure, but a brutal one as Buck reverts to his wolf roots. The book chronicles his journey from civilization to savagery and then to his redemption. In case you haven't read it, I won't spoil the ending. I will say though that the book is brutal and not for very young children but older ones would enjoy it, just as adults will. Developing a character in a book is tricky business but it takes a master like London to do so believably when the main character is an animal. Really enjoyed this short book - it's not deep, just engaging in simple way. I rate it 4.1 ninja stars out of 5.

Are North Americans "Wimpy?"

I had an interesting conversation with a hairdresser today as she was cutting my hair. Although I procrastinate alot at getting hair cuts, I do like talking to hair dressers - you never know what they will talk about. Telling them I'm a counselor (which is usually followed by a long pause) often leads into interesting topics. Today we ended up talking mostly about men being abused by women (and if this was a reality in domestic violence) but then somehow we got into cross cultural differences. My hairdresser was a middleaged Filipino lady and she remarked that she was surprised when she came over to North America and encountered such things as "stress" and "depression." She told me that in her country these things were mostly unheard of. Her view was that in her country where everything was hard and people didn't have high expectations on getting whatever they wanted in life - depression and feeling stress were almost unknown.

I have heard this kind of thinking before. When we were talking with some people who had been overseas an on a beach when a Tsunami hit. I asked them if they were traumatized by the event; their near death and the deaths of so many people around them. "No, we're not North American's," they said. "We are used to suffering and know how to get through it." Of course there are undoubtedly many non-North Americans who get depressed and many North Americans who never get depressed but I wonder at the proclivity of certain cultures to suffer certain mental discomforts and illnesses more intensely. Apparently there is some research to back this up. My hairdresser pointed to the fact that in her culture people are more connected (especially in the form of family and thought this was why people managed stress and depression so much better. The research I previously linked to makes the exact same assertion. Interesting!

Great Artists . . . Steal?

This is a short clip from Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple in his early years. I'm certainly not in the category of "artist" in any way, but I was intrigued by his comments. Do you agree with his quote that good artists copy and great artists steal? It is ironic then that Apple is spending millions of dollars to sue HTC for patent infringement!

Waiting

"Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord."
- Psalm 27:14

Well, Jobina and I are officially "waiting." Her due date is about the 13th of March but since she
has been a week and half to two weeks early with our past two kids, it feels like the baby could come anytime. I keep my phone with me and on all the time, even in sessions in case I get the call. It's weird because you just don't know when it could happen. Could be 2 weeks, could be 2 hours. Making appointments also feels weird as I don't know if I'll be able to keep them or not. Everything feels very much up in the air. Of course it is much worse for Jobina, I don't know how she sleeps at night!

Waiting is tough work. Here's to more of it!

A Powerful Plan For Paying Off Your Debt

This past weekend I finished rereading "The Richest Man in Babylon." Although I read it a few scant months ago I loved the book so much and realized I hadn't yet got all I needed to out of it. I highly recommend this book of short stories (read my short review here) as it contain so much financial wisdom that is easy to read and apply. Jobina and I are trying to decide where to invest the profits from selling our rental property and so I went to The Richest Man In Babylon looking for some advice on investment discernment. I was not disappointed.

Aside from that advice I was looking for, I was struck by one chapter's story on how to get out of debt. The story is about a foolish Babylonian man who becomes addicted to spending more then he makes until finally he loses everything; his wife, his respect, his job, and even his freedom as he is sold into slavery. The wife of his new master questions him repeatedly - do you have the heart of a slave or a free man. This makes our hero angry but his master's wife tells him that if he is a man who gives in to despair and does not repay his debts then he truly has the heart of a slave. In a daring escape, our hero leaves his master and heads out across the desert to make the trip back to Babylon. Along the way he almost dies but has an epiphany - he is a free man and he decides right there and then to repay his debts and reclaim his self respect. He survives the desert and returns to his home city determined to change his stars.

He meets up with a wise money lender (one of his debtors) who is impressed with our hero's desire to better himself and gives him a wise plan to do so. First, go to each of your debtors and let them know your plan, signaling your intention to pay back your debts and how you are doing it. Then proceed with the plan as follows:
1. Put aside 10% of you income to keep as a savings and wealth builder.
2. Live on 70% of your household income, doing whatever is necessary to live within these financial boundaries.
3. At the end of each month take the last 20% of your income and divide up amongst those you owe money to.

The plan works well and within a year not only has he repaid his debts, but he has won back his wife and the respect of even those he had borrowed from. Also, he now has a nest egg for investing in his future. He goes from being a slave to a freeman who never again foolishly spends more then he makes.

I liked this plan because it is realistic and gets the person into the habit of saving/investing that 10% right away. Of course it won't work if the person in debt believes the lie that they have to spend more then they make (or chooses not to live within their means). Still, this is a good general plan that could work for almost anyone. Debt (well, "bad" debt anyway) is like a dragon and slaying it is good for your health.