I was going to do a long post with my views but I'm not going to anymore. This is for two reasons:
1. My wife said she got bored with my first post and didn't read the end of it.
2. I think I only have part of the puzzle to this huge problem, and not enough to post a solution.
Yup, that's it. Have a good one!
Lately I've been hearing about "politics" in several organizations and so I've been thinking and talking with others about organizational health. What is it that makes one organization "healthy" and another not? I have a great burden for the organizations around me that are not doing well. Often when one looks at a church, business, non-profit organization, school, etc. one can see that something is not quite right. Often we will blame certain individuals (usually the leaders). I like to think beyond individuals though. Sometimes it is the system itself that is sick.
Of course it is individuals who contribute to a bad system, but eventually in an unhealthy system all of the individuals will get "sick." Why? Because they enable the unhealthiness to continue. Then they react negatively to all the unhealthiness around them in unhealthy ways. Here's my take on what often happens:
1. Someone in the organization starts doing something that hurts others, is unhealthy, or is contrary to the mission of the organization. Unaddressed, the problem becomes the elephant in the room.
2. Instead of bravely speaking the truth in love to that person (not letting them get away with it/giving them the opportunity to change), others "hope it will just get better" but it doesn't. Or if feedback is shared, it is too subtle and is misunderstood. People get more and more upset.
3. Eventually gossip begins. Because no one takes action, the temptation to gossip becomes impossible to deny. Gossip is one of the absolute worst things that any organization can do to harm itself. Gossip kills unity and creates ten times more problems then the original ones! Once widespread gossip exists, the organization is officially "sick." If the problem person/persons is not a leader and the leader doesn't intervene to fix things, the leader is gossiped about and any remaining team morale is destroyed. If the leader is the one doing wrong, usually the rest of the group is afraid to confront and things are about to reach the boiling point.
4. Eventually things blow up; people will leave the organization, instigate rebellion against leadership, or the organization falls apart.
5. Everyone blames everyone else (we want a scapegoat, right?). Everyone is hurt. The mission of the organization remains unfulfilled. The reputation of the organization is damaged.
Ever seen something similar to what I've described? What happened? In Part 2 of this series I will share my ideas about how to keep your organization healthy and what to do if "sickness" invades an organization (and how to help it).
May Light increase!
Today is a special day because it marks the 300th post here at Random Enlightenment. It's hard to believe that just over a year ago I started up this whole blog thing. What started as an experiment became both a discipline and a record of my thoughts and life. If you are a regular reader, thanks for choosing to stop by! If you are a commenter, thanks for the conversations! If you are lurker, well, thanks for lurking! Later today, as a trip down memory lane, I will post some links to some of my favorite (and most reviled) posts. Stay tuned, the best is yet to come.
Update:
Most Popular Posts (by Comments):
Premarital Counseling, Jbo Knows: Introductions, The Bachelor Rant, What Would Jesus Drink?, What Would You Do?, Separate Beds
Most Humorous videos:
German Prank, Waiters Who Are Nauseated By Food, Word Association
Most Authentic Posts:
The Madness of Money, Peace and Feeling Unwise, I Hate Cancer: Part 1
Most Disagreed With Posts:
Prius Worse For Environment Then Hummer, Who Can you Control: Part 2
Favorite Series:
Christians and Tipping
Most Unappreciated/Ignored (but genius to me) Posts:
Secrets, "Poisoned" Series , Father's Day Sermons
May Light increase!
We were coming back from staying overnight at my parent's house this morning. Jobina was driving and in our family whoever drives gets to choose what we listen to. Jobina was driving and so I was being forced to listen to CHVN, a local Christian music station. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not against the idea of Christian music stations. But I find CHVN to be so "happy" that it literally makes me feel ill. The message I get is "if you are a Christian you'll be excessively happy all the time, just like us!" The whole concept of "suffering" is usually pooh poohed, ignored, or given a positive spin. It might just be me, but if feels inauthentic. Sure faith in Christ is a reason to be joyous, but life itself is filled with both up and downs. Listening to CHVN for too long gets me agitated.
Anyway, this morning one of those ultra-cheery, always happy radio hosts was on and said something was stereotypically super positive but for some reason her words landed on me. She said she wanted to start a revolution of TGIM, "thank goodness it's Monday." Instead of whining all the time about how bad Monday's are, we should celebrate Monday excitedly as a time to reengage normal life and tackle all the challenges and work that come our way. The week is full of promise, so let's get to it.
At first I wanted to reject what she was saying simply because it was from CHVN, but I decided to accept it instead. I like the idea of changing our perception of something that is usually bad into something good. Reframing a bad day as a potentially good one is something that I agree with. I'm choosing to celebrate the start of a new week. TGIM everyone.
May Light increase!
What do you think the worst job at a restaurant would be? Dishwasher? Cook? Manager? In my mind they all have significant minuses, but they all have pluses as well. In my humble opinion, the worst job is held by the hostesses/hosts.
I started thinking about this when I went to the front of the hostess station to ask if a table was mine and the host said "Don't hate me, they made me seat 17!" with a genuine look of fear in his eyes.
In many ways hostesses have no friends at a restaurant. They are continually in conflict. First, they are in conflict with the guests. You come into the restaurant and want to be seated - they make you wait. They are continually under the icy glare of patrons waiting to be seated. If they underestimate the time for a wait - bam, angry people! Also, guests can be incredibly unreasonable when it comes to waiting. "What, our party of 20 has to wait an hour after we came here without warning on a Saturday night? Are you out of your mind?!!" You'd be amazed at the abuse hostesses take from guests. Guest are ignorant to servers as well but at least they know the servers have control over their food and have some incentive to attempt civility. Hosts and hostesses are just obstacles to be overcome and by any means necessary. Hostesses just take crap, that's their unwritten job description. I believe that I have seen all of the hostesses cry or break down at our restaurant after being screamed at by angry guests. Yikes!
The hostesses are also in conflict with the servers. We either want them to seat us (cause we're bored) or not (because we are weeded). (Weeded means completely overwhelmed by the way). Hostesses are supposed to space tables out (5 or 10 minutes between new tables being seated in a servers section) but if a hostess is under pressure at the the front to get people in they will double seat (seat two new tables to a server in a short time frame) or triple seat. This kills most servers (leading to the aforementioned weeded state). Thus the server gets angry and freaks out at the hostesses. Also, servers usually want to get off their shift as soon as possible so if a hostess seats them when they want to go home - look out! Servers are usually emotional and expressive so when they get angry it's always fireworks. Servers see hostesses as a necessary evil whom they bless when times are good and curse (literally!) when they are bad.
Managers are always on the hostesses for getting more people quickly into the restaurant. Managers hate to see people waiting in the lobby. This pressure on the hostesses leads them to make errors like double/triple seating servers intentionally or by mistake. Sometimes in their haste to get people in they'll seat guests in a section that has no server yet. When this happens there is anger from 1. guest 2. servers 3. managers.
Lastly, hostesses when they are not busy stand around at the front where they gossip incessantly about . . . well . . . lots of things but mostly about each other. Thus the hostesses are actually often in conflict with . . . themselves! It seems to me that they are harsher critics on each others performance then anyone else in the restaurant. Stabbing each other in the back is both common and savage.
Through all of this stress the hostesses are supposed to be charming, warm, friendly, helpful, patient and professional. They don't (usually) make tips either. So the next time your sitting in a line at some restaurant, full of rage at the hostess who quoted you 15 minutes and it's now been an hour - remember; you are just one of her assailants today. Have pity on her, she's choosing everyday to be verbally abused and attacked so that you can have your dinner. Be gracious when the urge to be cruel to her comes up, you'll be in the minority who treat her well.
May Light increase!
I love premarital counseling. I liked it when I went through it myself and I like facilitating it with other couples. I find it incredibly satisfying. There is something about working with an engaged couple as they ponder the excitement and mystery of marriage that is very encouraging to my soul. There is so much hope there. Newly engaged couples are a lot of fun and I count it a great honor to hear their stories and help empower them for a new life together.
I was a little bit surprised to find out that many people do not share my passion. Some of my fellow counselors view it with distaste. And many people are downright frightened by the prospect. They don’t like the idea of being under the microscope or they worry the counselor will tell them they shouldn’t get married. Others have had bad experiences with it and harbor bad feelings about the experience.
So here’s the thing, I’m wanting to encourage more couples to do it (premarital counseling that is), and I’m wondering if there’s anyone brave enough out there to share their opinions and experiences of it (good or bad). Maybe you have some advice/cautions for others? Or maybe you are a person who didn’t do such counseling and I’m curious to know why. What put you off? Maybe you are single and not engaged but have an opinion on the subject? Lastly, perhaps you are one of my fellow counselors (or a pastoral counselor) - I’d love to have your thoughts and experiences as well.
Thanks for the input, I really appreciate it!
May Light increase!
I have often told people that mac users are part of a cult (the cult of Mac, the cult of Apple). Mac users are unusually passionate about their choice of computers. This "zeal" is often annoying to others as I have posted about before. Apple fanboys and Mac zealots, although frustrating to others around them, have to be admired for their dedication and outright love (yes, love) for their platform. Seriously, do you ever see anyone get super excited about their Dell laptop or HP PC and try to convince others around them to "convert?" I think not!
There is a new documentary about the most radical of the radicals called "Macheads" coming out soon. Here's the trailer for it:
Will I see it? Of course.
My own "conversion" to Mac came during my first year of Bible college in 1993. I had some friends who were mac users and I was experiencing "powerbook envy" (apple laptops were called powerbooks at that time and PC users were jealous of their sharp looks). Although I was a PC user, I was on the fence and waffling. Should I try Macs? There was just something about them that is hard to describe which made them so different. I had money for a new computer but I wasn't sure. Since I was such a huge Risk fan, I decided that when I went into a computer store, I would look for the game Risk. If the system requirements were for a PC, I'd buy a PC and if they were for a Mac, I'd buy a mac. I ran into the store and picked up the first Risk game I saw; it was for macs. I have never looked back.
Apple is kind of a media darling right now. Everyone (even Sony!) wants to be them. But I remember "the dark years" when people thought Apple was dead in the water and thought they might even go under as a company. It was tough being a zealot back then. We were always on the defensive, always the target of jokes and jabs. Now, Apple is hugely successful (the iPod, the iPhone, iTunes) and there marketshare is almost 8% and they are the 3rd or 4th largest computer manufacturer in the U.S. Their OS is super reliable, free of viruses, and easy to use. Their hardware designs are not just functional, but esthetically pleasing. I'm glad for Apple's success, but I kind of miss the old days. What are you thoughts on Apple these days?
