Book Review: Real Marriage - The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together

Book Review: Real Marriage - The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together by Mark and Grace Driscoll

Disclosure: Occasionally I get access to books through a few different publishers who are willing to give you a free copy of a book for review. I haven't seen any that looked interesting for awhile until I saw this one on the list and the title intrigued me. A few days later and my advance reader's copy arrived new and shiny. . .

Real Marriage is not your average Christian marriage book. It strikes me as being radically authentic in a genre that is more so then most. Most books attempt to be authentic, but when the pastor and wife of one of North America's largest churches discusses their marriage failings in striking detail, you can't help but be impressed by their courage to share. Especially in the sexual department. I don't believe I've ever read a more vulnerable, exposing book on marriage. This frankness is applied to difficult topics in a way that is both jarring and refreshing.

The book felt a bit rough as well. I's so used to the spit and polish of self-help psychology books that I've recently been reading, that I was a bit turned off at first. Don't get me wrong, the authors are both great communicators, I think that the editor of this book stayed her hand more then is usual.

The authors approach marriage in a unique, Bible-centered, traditional, and explicit way. The first part of the book talks about marriage, the second about sex, and the third about what they call the "last day." In the same way that the couple is not afraid to share about their own intimate life, they share about the importance of love and submission. They also tackle sexual topics that have affected their own relationship including porn, sexual abuse, selfishness, etc. They include a great Q & A on sexual acts within marriage that ask 3 questions to each topic (modeled on Paul's thoughts to the Corinthians); is it lawful, is it helpful, is enslaving? Interesting that while the couple is traditional in their ideas of how men and women are supposed to relate, they are far from traditional on what they think is acceptable in married bedrooms! There is also great chapter on the topic of friendship in marriage ("Friends With Benefits") which I found unique and probably worth the price of the book. The last section is a unique exercise - reverse engineering your marriage to make it healthy and glorifying to God.

I liked this book overall - would be a great one to read with a spouse (can't really imagine reading it in a group setting, unless you know those people very well!). While it misses the research breadth of a therapist and the polish of a professional author, the book seems quite practical. I'm sure some would find it's understanding of roles difficult to swallow, and I didn't agree with everything they wrote, yet I believe the book has much to offer. I give it 4 ninja stars out of 5. Anyone else out there read it?

Short Book Reviews

Well, I just finished my busiest month ever counselling wise and my schedule is starting to slow down now. Although I haven't been blogging I have still been thinking, reading, and reflecting (when I have the time!) and here are a few books I've read since the start of the year:

Mark of The Lion Series by Francine Rivers: This trilogy of books is written by often maligned (especially by myself) author Francine Rivers. While lower on the expected romance then I was gritting my teeth for, it was high on sex - shockingly so. Not in graphic detail, but definitely on subject matter. Of course the books are set in ancient Rome shortly after the death of Christ so most of it is understandable. Yet even so I found myself unsettled by it. Perhaps it was the author's intent? I would describe it as Danielle Steele meets Stephen Lawhead, "Gladiator" meets "Acts." I had lost a bet with Jobina so I had to read half of the 1st book but after 4 chapters I was hooked and read them all. I was actually very moved in my spirit with the stories of faith. I rate these books "R" for content and A+ for readability, 4 ninja stars out of 5.

Too Small To Ignore by Wes Stafford: Jobina's friend Lee (who she recently went to Ecuador) lent me this book and it pretty much rocked my world. Wow! It is the best book on the importance of children I have ever read. Stafford is the founder of Compassion International and so it's not surprising that he cares about children. How much though, and why - now that is surprising. Stafford shares with much vulnerability and honesty how his growing up years in Africa shaped him and how God used his painful experiences to develop a super passion for children the world over. Excellent book whether you read it is as a biography or as a treatise on the importance of ministry to children. I rate this 4.6 ninja stars out of 5.


Multiple Streams of Income by Robert G. Allen: I picked this up at my local library and have renewed it twice. This is a great overview of several different streams of income (stock investing, real estate, network marketing, business, internet, etc) that is essential reading for anyone interested in finances. Though a little outdated and a little weighted toward American readers, I learned alot. His view of balancing the different kinds of income is actually done in a conservative way and I think even the most picky person could find at least one form of wealth growing that work for them and their family. If you go to Allen's personal website, you can actually email him for a free copy of his book. I rate it 3.8 ninja stars out of 5.


How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie: This is a classic of American literature and while it is over 75 years old, it's truths are completely applicable today. Carnegie shares the simple but often forgotten truths that help us out in human relationships. This book is about how to influence people in powerful ways, not by control or power but by creativity and patience. Some might see his techniques as manipulations but I didn't take them way. It's funny, 10 years ago I would never have been able to accept many of these principles but Carnegie uses stories to illustrate their power and effectiveness in every day life, especially in business. The principles aren't perfect, but useful to anyone in a significant relationship. I've already recommended this book to several of my clients. I give it a rating of 4.5 ninja stars out of 5.

Book Review: The Horse and His Boy

Book Review: The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis

This is the third book in the Narnian Chronicles and my favorite. It is mostly set in Calormen, an Arabic-like nation south of Narnia and I like how Lewis’s characters interact with this unique culture. A boy named Shasta grows up in this land and eventually runs away from his father with a talking horse named Bree. The book follows their adventures as they try to escape to Narnia. There are battles, desert crossings, palace intrigues, and of course powerful interactions with Aslan the Lion.

I think that I like this book the most because the character of Shasta connects with me. He is a humble boy who has no real assets according to the world around him but finds himself to be very special (and eventually heroic). Is this not every boy (and man’s) privately held hope? I also enjoy how Aslan is portrayed in this book and how everything he does/allows to happen is for a reason. He tells several of the characters who are looking for answers as to why certain things happened "I tell no one any story but his own." I rate this book 4.6 ninja stars out of 5.

Book Review: The Lost Symbol

Book Review: The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown

This book is hard to put down. I read it it’s over 500 pages in just over 2 days. It felt like literary crack cocaine. Dad Brown is a truly amazing author in that he can keep you engaged at such a high level for such a long time that you begin to wonder if you are being hypnotized. That being said, this book is not quite as addictive as "The DaVinci Code." It is a new adventure with Robert Langdon, the humble symbologist who is the hero of Brown’s previous books but instead of the Church being his main target, it is the Masons.

Although this book got lots of bad reviews, I thought it was actually pretty good. Like his previous books, Brown tries to get you to swing to his worldview (deism) and so in many ways it’s a propaganda book that most Christians would find annoying or theologically “abhorrent” but as pure entertainment I’ve read far worse. I’d give it 1 ninja stars for its message and 5 stars for fun so in the end it gets a 3 ninja stars out of 5 rating.

Book Review: Rich Kid, Smart Kid

Book Review: Rich Kid, Smart Kid by Robert Kiyosaki

It seems that most people, when I ask them what their parents taught them about money say something like this: "Not much." Most kids do learn from their parents -by watching how they handle their money (and listening to how they talk about it). Some parents teach their kids how to save, some teach how to give, and some even teach thrift and frugality. If you were taught some or all of those things then consider yourself lucky. But there are only a handful of people out there who were taught by their parents how to invest their money. This book teaches you as a parent how to share this important information (and helps you understand why - even if you were never taught it yourself.

I loved this book. The subtitle is "Giving Your Child A Financial Head Start" and while it is not comprehensive, I am very much using much of what he shares to help my kids. I have already taught (thanks to this book) Riker a few simple concepts:

Me: "Hey Riker, what's the difference between assets and liabilities?"
Riker: "That's easy. Assets put money into your pocket, liabilities take money out of your pocket."

The book is mostly a book about financial philosophy and the importance of teaching kids about money. It is fairly opinionated, definitely not comprehensive, and a bit repetitive. But if you want to teach your kids how to handle you money then I highly recommend this book as an easy to read starting point. I rate it 4.2 ninja stars out of 5.

Book Review: The Silver Chair

Book Review: The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis

One of my clients mentioned the other day the great character of Puddleglum (from the Silver Chair) and so I decided to read the book that refers to him again. The Silver Chair is about the search for the missing prince Rillian, Caspian's only son who was kidnapped by an evil witch. Eustace and Jill are whisked from a close call at Experiment House (their school in England) and back to Narnia where Aslan give them the task of finding the lost prince. Together with their intriguing guide Puddleglum, they go north into the wilds of Narnia where they encounter giants, and underground kingdom, and the witch. I love this tale. The title refers to the silver chair that is part of the prince's enchantment.

I always liked this book because of the interesting character that is Pudddleglum. Puddleglum is a pessimist, yet he is an adventurer and high in integrity. I would very much not mind having a friend like him. Another part that touched me was a quote from Prince Rillian as he and the search party are trying to find their way out of a tricky spot and hoping not to perish in the attempt. Rillian says: "Courage, friends," came Prince Rilian's voice. "Whether we live or die Aslan will be our good lord." And earlier he puts it this way: "Doubtless," said the Prince, "This signifies that Aslan will be our good lord, whether he means us to live or die." I like how Rillian was willing to accept death or life from his Lord. He trusted him completely no matter which way things turned out. That is the kind of faith I want to have in God. Job says something similar that I have always aspired to: "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him" - Job 13:15. Overall I rate this book 4.1 ninja stars out of 5.

There is also a great quote about Aslan that further enlarges Lewis' view of God. I find it poetic and inspiring:

"Are you not thirsty?" said the Lion. "I am dying of thirst," said Jill. "Then drink," said the Lion. "May I--could I--would you mind going away while I do?" said Jill. The Lion answered this only by a look and a very low growl. And as Jill gazed at its motionless bulk, she realized that she might as well have asked the whole mountain to move aside for her convenience. The delicious rippling noise of the stream was driving her nearly frantic.

"Will you promise not to--do anything to me, if I do come?" said Jill. "I make no promise," said the Lion. Jill was so thirsty now that, without noticing it, she had come a step nearer. "Do you eat girls?" she said. "I have swallowed up girls and boys, women and men, kings and emperors, cities and realms," said the Lion. It didn't say this as if it were boasting, nor as if it were sorry, nor as if it were angry. It just said it.

"I daren't come and drink," said Jill. "Then you will die of thirst," said the Lion. "Oh dear!" said Jill, coming another step nearer. "I suppose I must go and look for another stream then."

"There is no other stream," said the Lion."

Book Review: Voyage of the Dawntreader

Book Review: Voyage of the Dawntreader by C.S. Lewis

I've been reading a lot of non-fiction lately so I thought it might be good to pick up this book, especially with the movie being released recently. I have read the Narnian Chronicles at least eight or nine times and Voyage of The Dawntreader is probably my 2nd favorite of the series (Horse and His Boy is first). It starts of delightfully "There was a boy called Eustace Scrubb and he almost deserved it . . ."

The story follows the return of Edmund and Lucy to Narnia, bringing their disagreeable cousin Eustace with them. The trio are tossed (literally) into the sea and eventually a voyage aboard Caspian the 10th's newest ship, The Dawntreader. They are seeking out the seven lost Lords of Narnia who disappeared during Caspian's predecessor's evil reign. Reepicheep the mouse is aboard as well, seeking his destiny at the end of the world. Through their many adventures, Eustace begins to change and it altogether a merry quest. I find Lewis's style refreshing - he can express much with very few words and the simplicity of his writing makes the text which is now over 50 years still feel fresh and contemporary. There is moment where Aslan helps Eustace which still moves me every time I read it - an obvious allusion to Christ washing us clean. An altogether brilliant and short read - I rate it 4 ninja stars out of 5.

P.S. The image is from a much older paperback version of the book which is the one I got when I was a kid. To me, only this old set looks and feels right.

Book Review: Snowball

Book Review: The Snowball - Warren Buffet and the Business of Life by Alice Schroeder

I'm zeroing in on my goal of reading a book a week for the year and knew that picking up this 1000 page tome was not wise . . . but I couldn't resist. The autobiography of one of the world's smartest and richest men? I gave in to temptation and picked up it's huge heft from the library. In case you don't know who Warren Buffet is (aka "The Oracle of Omaha"), he is arguably this century's greatest investor. He is he is the primary shareholder, chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway which is currently trading at over $120,000 per share! He was ranked as the world's second wealthiest person in 2009 and is currently the third wealthiest person in the world as of 2010. Buffett is noted for his adherence to the value investing philosophy and for his personal frugality despite his immense wealth (he still lives in the moderately sized house he bought decades ago for $30,000). In case you are thinking he's just another greedy rich guy, know that Buffet is also a notable philanthropist, having pledged to give away 99 percent of his fortune to philanthropic causes, primarily via the Gates Foundation.

What kind of person does it take to become a billionaire? Someone with a special gift. Buffet as a boy had a favorite toy - a moneychanger. What kind of kid picks a moneychanger for a toy? Probably one who was extremely gifted in mathematics and would later ask his Dad to let him visit the New York Stock Exchange as his coming of age gift. Even at an early age he became a businessman and investor, buying stocks and starting businesses before he was 12 years old. Like many genius children, he was not always understood and was socially awkward yet he eventually rose above it. Later in life he was lucky enough to study the great investors of his time, learning their systems and then improving them. Warren's true genius was his ability to see and buy great stocks or companies that were undervalued and then hold onto them as long as he could. He spent his life learning and acquiring - not just investments but people as well. To Buffet, everything was about the power of compounding returns, yet he only risked wisely. Another great thing about Buffet was his moral compass. Unlike many in business, he refused to sacrifice his morals to make money, believing that while it takes a lifetime to build a reputation, it only takes five minutes to destroy it. Buffet's reputation for honesty and integrity is unparalleled in an industry known for it's deceit.

Because he was so super focused this allowed him to become truly great, but it did have bad effects on his family. To me, the sacrifices he made with his family would not have been worth it, yet this is often true of geniuses in other fields as well (I think of Einstein and Gandhi who were also geniuses yet caused great pain to those close to them). I really enjoyed this book, being at times inspired and then later feeling sorry for him (yes, you can feel sorry for multi-billionare). His wisdom with money and his philosophy of investing is the best I've ever read. Highly recommended. 4.3 ninja stars out of 5.

Book Review: The Life And Times Of The Thunderbolt Kid

Book Review: The Life And Times Of The Thunderbolt Kid (A Memoir) by Bill Bryson

I'm kind of a sucker for people's stories about their growing up years. Bill Bryson is a gifted writer so I thought "Why not?" The book is an extremely funny reflection of Bryson's growing up in Des Moines, Iowa during the 1950s and early 1960s. For those who enjoyed Bryson's "A Walk In The Woods" and "Neither Here Nor There: Travels In Europe," Byrson fills in the back story on his famous friend Stephen Katz. More then just a memoir, the author describes and comments on American life in humorous detail. And the strange title? It comes from an imaginary alter-ego Bryson invented for himself in his childhood, who has the ability to "vaporise people." (Personally I had no such strange ideas myself although I did have serious plans on how I was going to take over the world and rule it benevolently. Luckily I dropped those plans shortly after having children - just not enough time.)

I laughed hard reading this book yet it is also filled with enough thoughtful commentary on the good things and bad things of American history to make it thought provoking as well. Bryson's genius is the artful way in which he blends words and ideas. He truly is a great writer and I'd say this is one of his better books. A little crude at times, this doesn't always come across well when he is speaking the thoughts of a 7 year old boy. Definitely an entertaining read and his story about accidentally sharing a drink with an old man made me laugh out loud and then snicker occasionally as I remembered the story for the next week. I give it 4 ninja stars out of 5.

Book Review: The 47th Samurai

Book Review: The 47th Samurai by Stephen Hunter

I borrowed this book from the library on a whim after seeing one of my clients reading it. It's a bit of departure for me - military fiction (although I used to be quite fond of Tom Clancy's older work like Hunt For Red October and Red Storm Rising). I was warned the book was ultra violent and so it was. It's billed as a "Bob Lee" story, and I found out that this is one in a series of books with the same character.

Bob Lee Swagger is a 60 year old retired marine master sniper and hero. He is sought out by Philip Yano, the son of the Japanese officer who commanded the bunker on Iwo Jima where Swagger's marine father won the Medal of Honor in 1945. Yano approaches Swagger about a missing sword wielded by his father. The sword turns out to be not just a family heirloom but a national treasure that evokes echoes from the most sacrosanct corners of Japanese history. Yano's eventually gets the sword but is then killed brutally by a mysterious group of Japanese Mafia. Lee goes to Japan and learns their ways so at to get the sword and find justice for Yano's killing.

The book has a lot of information about the samurai and samurai swords which I found to be the most interesting part of the book. Unfortunately most of the other elements of the book are simply difficult to keep believable. The plot is straightforward with a few good twists but unfortunately like many books in this genre, the characters aren't developed enough to make things believable. One almost gets the idea that the story was written in a hurry. Stephen Hunter is a pulitzer prize winning novelist so although the story doesn't flow all that great it is still entertaining, it's just not exceptional. Read it for the samurai trivia, not for it's literary value. Because it is so brutal and so crude I wouldn't read it again. To sum up, it's OK, it's just a little unbelieveable and much too crude. I give it 2.9 ninja stars out of 5.

Book Review: Animal Farm

Book Review: Animal Farm by George Orwell

This is such an intriguing and engaging book! Originally titled "Animal Farm: A Fairy Tale" it is an adult take on a children's tale, yet is also an allegory for totalitarianism in general and communism specifically. It's a rather cute story of some farmyard animals that overthrow their evil ruler (the farmer Mr. Jones) and liberate the farm. The way the animals adapt to their revolution and create order when they experience freedom mirrors the Russian Revolution and the rise of Stalin's communism very well. However, if you didn't know all the political symbolism, you'd find this a fun read. Ultimately this is a story about the inevitable struggle with oppression and then corruption. An initially ideal socialist society gives way to corruption and the tale becomes a page turner as the animals are lead further and further astray by their leaders.

I enjoyed the overt story as well as the covert one. It made me think - was Orwell saying that all revolutions result in totalitarianism and that all leaders tend to be corrupted? I would dearly like to ask him. The book certainly shows the ease that a large group of people can be swayed away from their original ideals - how skilled speakers can move people from laws and morals simply by appealing to their practicality with high minded explanations. This was a short book (about 100 pages) but a true classic that is easy to read. I rate it 4 ninja stars out of 5.

Book Review: Losing My Virginity

Book Review: Losing My Virginity - The Autobiography by Richard Branson

This is definitely one of the most fascinating biographies I have ever read. It is the story of Sir Richard Branson, hippy turned global billionaire/entrepreneur . It is the story of his life and what a life it is! Often as I was reading it I would put the book down and remark in wonder "This guy's life can't really have happened this way!" It's just so unbelievable. Branson has fit 6 people's lifetimes into one. At the age of 15 he started his own national magazine (The Student) and interviewed people like The Rolling Stones and The Beatles. Later he started a mail order music business which eventually started a music store business (Virgin Music) which eventually started a music label (Virgin Records). You'd think this would be enough but during that time he also bought a 3 million pound island for 180,000 pounds, lived on a houseboat, got married twice, and started a student help line to help students in crisis. Branson is also an adventurer and along with others has broken several records in sailing and ballooning. His ballooning adventures alone are worthy of an entire book - at one point he's on the top of his rapidly descending balloon capsule trying to decide if he'd have better chances of living by parachuting now or jumping directly into the ocean before impact. It seems like he should have died on almost all of this extreme adventures he went on!

Branson is an interesting mix of risk taker and business acumen that the world rarely sees. He has the ability to dream big, ask questions like "Why can't we do this?" and then make huge (but informed) bets that have consistently paid off during his lifetime. Was he lucky sometimes? Absolutely. But there is no question that he is a visionary and entrepreneur who has great skills in salesmanship, spotting talent, weighing risk, and creativity. His Virgin Group of companies now include several airlines, mobile phone groups, train operators, fuel producers, etc. He is a multi-billionaire who is easily bored and thrives on challenges. In many ways he is the ultimate rags to riches story and his unique ability to not let fear or greed overcome him has made him incredibly successful and inspiring.

This is a long read, and I'd say the first 80% is difficult to put down. The end gets a little slower as it is more of a chronicle of his current accomplishments which although impressive, don't quite have the daring and risk taking of his first few decades. The book does have some coarse language and some rather "risque" (rated R) stories but these are few and if you can look past this you will be inspired. I rate it 4.5 out of 5 ninja stars.

Book Review: The Speed of Trust

Book Review: The Speed of Trust by Stephen M. R. Covey

Sometimes you read a book that you didn't know you needed to. This was that book for me.

For the past little while I've felt a growing discontent with the ethical part of myself. Yet I couldn't pinpoint what was wrong. This book helped me to see it. And the issue was trust. This excellent book shows how important trust is - trusting yourself and others. Though mostly a business/organizational book, I was most impressed with the personal application. To Covey, trust is a mix of two essential elements - character (or integrity) and competence (results). To truly trust yourself or someone else you need to have both. He gets much more technical then this, but I realized as I was reading that the reason I was losing "trust" in myself was that I was setting goals for myself and not achieving them (competence) as well as telling people I'd do things but not completing them (character). As such, my self-trust was quietly and slowly eroding. And of course I didn't feel good about it.

Covey's understanding of trust and why it is so important (saveing time/money by the way) was just what I needed to hear. He has very practical ideas on what he calls "smart trust" which helps to extend trust generously but carefully to others. I'm definitely going to read this book again . . . it's application is in every area of our lives. As spouses, parent's, employees, employers, board members, etc trust is necessary and makes life easier. As a Christ-follower I want to be someone who trusts wisely and joyfully. Highly recommended at 4.6 ninja stars out of 5.

Book Review: Superfreakonomics

Book Review: Superfreakonomics by Steven Levit & Stephen Dubner

This book is sequel of sorts, to the best selling Freakonomics by the same authors. While I found the first book on economics interesting but lacking in purpose, this one definitely had more of a definite message. That message is this: man is moved by incentives and the interplay of those incentives sometimes has very interesting implications for the various problems and curiosities that life presents. My favorite chapter was the one on how small (and cheap) fixes are often the best fixes. The creative use of statistics is another big theme in this book. One early example of the interpretation of statistics consists of the story of a physician who found that he could reduce greatly the maternal mortality rate in his hospital if he required doctors to wash their hands before they did a delivery, and this was decades before Louis Pasteur discovered bacteria (too bad he was thought of as a madman and eventually died in an asylum!). The authors also show how children whose mothers fasted during pregnancy because of Ramadan are more likely to suffer from behavioural and learning disabilities. The chapters on prostitution, and the nature of altruism (are we naturally altruistic or not?) were also quite fascinating. For anyone who is an inventor, a free-thinker, or who simply wants to stretch their mind you will enjoy this book. I rate in 4.1 ninja stars out of 5.

Book Review: The Last Lecture

Book Review: The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

I had heard about this book a few years back and when I saw it on my latest library excursion I picked it up without a second thought. I knew this book was going to be important for me.

Randy Pausch was a professor of computer sciences (specifically with virtual reality) at Carnegie Mellon University. In 2007 he found out that he was going to die from pancreatic cancer within three to six month. He decided to do one last lecture entitled “Really achieving your childhood dreams.” It was amazing. So much so that millions watched it online and it became a book. I think Pausch would be the kind of person everyone would want as a professor and friend. He was energetic, fun, a genius, and incredibly positive. To hear how he handled his impending death and his life reflections, well, it’s a bit overwhelming. It certainly hit me hard, talking about how he would miss his wife and his kids and what their journey was like, but it was more his optimistic way of celebrating the life he had led and was still living. He decided to have fun right up until the end. The book is full of his stories and advice for life, much of it given to him from his parents, friends, colleagues, and students. I think anyone reading this would find it inspiring, hopeful, and wise. A fascinating read that will leave you with a warm feeling in your heart (sadness and hope mixed together). I give it 4.5 ninja stars out of five.

P.S. In case you haven’t seen it, here’s the official link to the famous lecture (give yourself a good hour to watch it and reflect)

Book Review: Codependent No More

Book Review: Codependent No More - How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie

If you live with a spouse, partner, or family member who is addicted to something, there is a good chance that you have become codependent. Beattie defines a "codependent" as someone "who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior. We believe that we'd be happy if the other person would just change." Codependency is the group of behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that a person who is bound to an addict develops to try to change the other person. Codependents lose track of their own sense of self as they become lost in the world of the addict. They compensate for this by unleashing controlling behaviors on the person as a way of coping.

If you are person who feels stuck and unhappy in your relationship with an addict, this is the classic book on restoring yourself. Few people codependency as well as Beattie who is recovering successfully from a variety of addictive disorders and entanglements. In this classic work, she combines real-life stories with practical illustrations of the concepts that define every part of the codependent syndrome. I have offered this book to many clients (especially with spouses who are alcoholics) and it has been quite helpful for them. For myself, even though I don't consider myself codependent, there was definitely things that I was able to apply to myself as well. I rate it 4.2 ninja stars out of 5.

Book Review: The Island of Doctor Moreau

Book Review: The Island of Doctor Moreau by H.G. Wells

I thought I would add a little more variety from my reading this week by going down to the local library and wandering aimlessly until I have found four random books that looked interesting. The first book I cracked open when I got home was this one from H.G. Wells. It is a strange tale, even for someone like Wells who is well known for some of his more well known fiction (War of the Worlds, The Invisible Man, etc.). The Island of Doctor Moreau is a difficult book to describe without giving away too much of the plot. It is the story of young naturalist named Edward Pendrick who through a series of unfortunate events becomes shipwrecked. Barely surviving his ordeal he finds himself on a dark and mysterious island, ruled by a cunning and demented genius known as Dr. Moreau. The entire time while reading the book, Wells hints at things not right and you are haunted by a feeling of eerie discomfort as the foreboding grows. Make no mistake, this is a disturbing novel. I finished reading it and felt like Wells had approached a line of horror, crossed over it, and then pulled back just enough to make you feel thoughtful and uneasy for the remainder of the book. Not sure if I'd read it again, but definitely an interesting mixture of survival, fantasy, and horror genres. Not for children, I rate it 3.4 ninja stars out of 5.

Book Review: I Will Teach You To Be Rich

Book Review: I Will Teach You To Be by Ramit Sethi

I purchased this book for a specific purpose. I am always looking for resources for premarital counselling. I usually reccomend "The Wealthy Barber" for young couples looking to master their finances as I find it easy to read and very helpful. But for some people, the Wealthy Barber is still too much information (as easy to read as it is). And so after poking around on Ramit Sethi's excellent blog, I took a chance and ordered this book to see if it could be an even easier resource for couples to read and implement. For the most part, this book was exactly what I hoped it would be.

The book's angle is that it is written for 20 somethings by a 20 something (an ego filled, very confident 20 something). It is not written for couples per se, but many of the values espoused by Sethi work for singles or couples. The book is structured into a six week action program to take control of your financial life and put you on the automatic track to retiring rich:

Week 1: Optimize Your Credit Card. Sethi teaches you what kind of credit cards to get, how many, how to negotiate with credit companies, how to get rid of charges from them, and especially how to get out of credit card debt
Week 2: Beat The Banks. The focus is on how to get the best deal on your banking, how to choose a good bank, how to set up chequing/savings accounts, and how to set up an online investing account. Sethi doesn't like many banks but loves credit unions.
Week 3: Get Ready To Invest. Since this is an American book he talks about setting up your 401(k) and Roth investment accounts (Canadians will substitute similar accounts such as RRSP's and TFSA's), and coming up with a plan to pay off debt. I like how he counters young people's objections for not investing.
Week 4: Conscious Spending. Track your spending, optimize your spending, create a conscious spending plan (instead of a budget), track your saving/spending/investing. For anyone struggling with budgeting, this chapter alone is worth the price of the book I'd say.
Week 5: Save While Sleeping. Integrate you automatic saving, automate your bill payments, etc.
Week 6: Investing Isn't Only For Rich People. Figure out your investing style, research your investments, start buying your investments (and set up automatic monthly payments of more).

There is a lot of great stuff in this book. Except for the American stuff that doesn't fit our Canadian context, it is all super practical. All of it. The book is all action. Sethi is an interesting author - his humor is corny and he crudely cuts down any idea he things is worthless (and yes, he does this often) but his reasons for doing it are presented so straightforwardly that it's difficult to disagree with (or fault him too much for it). If you are looking for a no-nonsense, all practical, specific advise system for managing your finances then this book deserves a look. What did I get out of it? First, his view of financial "experts" as being useless as fewer then 25% can even beat the market consistently and how you can use index funds is a complete revelation (and is backed by hard statistics). I also really liked his positive and simplified approach to budgeting (essentially his idea of budgeting is not really budgeting at all). Lastly, overall his book is super empowering - he makes it seem extremely simple for you to manage your own finances and doesn't pull punches about what he sees as "stupid" money management by many in his generation. I rate this book 4.4 ninja stars out of 5. If you are in your 20's and would like to borrow this book of me, I'd be happy to borrow it to you for a month so I can get other people's impressions before I use it extensively with others.

Book Review: People of The Deer

Book Review: People of The Deer by Farley Mowat

I didn't want to read this book but as I have this challenge going on right now . . . well, I picked it up. Apparently (not sure if this is true, but it's Mowat's first book. It's a book of one man's expedition and falling in love with the People of the deer, the inland eskimos who inhabit the barrens of the arctic. In many ways it is a tragedy. The inland Inuit of Canada's north in the mid/late-1940s suffered disease, starvation, and neglect by the rest of Canada. Mowat ends up finding and chronicling the fascinating people known as the Ilhamiut, or People of the Deer. Mowat tells a sad story of how an entire culture of people were set up to become dependent on white men -trading their spears and deer for guns and fox pelts- only to be abandoned when the money went (literally) south and they were left with neither the tools (ammunition) or knowledge (traditional deer hunting techniques) that they needed to fight off hunger and its attendant companion, disease. He eventually learns their language before going off on a long canoe trip to help a biologist peer find the caribou. Many crazy and unexplained things happen along the way, some which may make the hair on your neck stand up. Apparently this book was very helpful in bringing the plight of the Inuit to light for the general Canadian public. I most enjoyed the story of a culture that no longer exists. Mowat carefully shares both the good and bad points of it and you can't help but fall in love with them yourself. He gets almost a little too poetic at points (for my taste) but I enjoyed the book overall. I'd give it 4.1 ninja stars out of 5.

Book Review: The Four Hour Work Week

Book Review: The Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris

This is a crazy book written by a crazy man. But I liked it.

There is outside of the box thinking and then there is really outside of the box thinking. Tim Ferris is beyond even that! His book is a slap to the American dream - a new dream for people who wish to experience life before retirement. Yes, he really does show you how some people can live like kings and only work four hours a week. For someone like myself I wouldn't be able to remain a counselor and only work 4 hours but I could certainly cut the amount of time I work down substantially by following his crazy principles. Speaking of which after I'd read the first 60 pages I was so in shock by the radicalness of his ideas that I wondered if I was open minded enough to accept that they could be possible! That does not happen often for me. Ferris teaches:


•How he went from $40,000 per year and 80 hours per week to $40,000 per month and 4 hours per week (yes he actually did this and shows you how).
•How to outsource your life to overseas virtual assistants for $5 per hour and do whatever you want (almost anyone can afford a virtual assistant - even me).
•How blue-chip escape artists travel the world without quitting their jobs
•How to eliminate 50% of your work in 48 hours using the principles of a forgotten Italian economist (even the greatest skeptic in the world would benefit from his super radical time management techniques)
•How to trade a long-haul career for short work bursts and frequent “mini-retirements” (this is maybe the most amazing idea)

This is a guy who questions everything and does the opposite. His approach to life is simple and can be used by employees and entrepreneurs alike. Using the acronym D.E.A.L. he talks about:

(D)efinition: Figure out what you want, get over your fears, see past society’s “expectations”, and figure out what it will really cost to get to where you want. It can be surprisingly cheap, costing less than what you’re paying now.

(E)limination is about Time Management, or rather about NOT managing time. Instead, apply the 80/20 rule to focus only on those tasks that contribute the majority of benefit. Also apply it ruthlessly to all aspects of your life to eliminate the small minority of factors that waste 80% (or more) of your time. Forget time management, focus instead on getting the really important and results-producing tasks done. There’s a difference, Ferriss says, between efficiency and effectiveness - choose to be effective!

(A)utomation is all about building a sustainable, automatic source of income. This is a section that is, practically speaking, about Business and Business management. The trick is to avoid is building a business that requires your presence, because that just burns up all your time. Ferriss made that mistake once, generating lots of monthly revenue but ended up being chained to the machine to keep it working. Ferriss now has hundreds of people working on his behalf through multiple outsourced vendors, all operating under specific instructions that are designed to not create headaches for him while depositing those lovely monthly checks.

(L)iberation: Once you’ve successfully automated your lifestyle, liberate yourself from your geographical location and your job. It’s a lot easier than you think, once you’ve gotten through the previous three steps. With mobility comes the ability to leverage economic advantages across the world. Living in a tropical paradise and eating at 5-star restaurants everyday can be cheaper than watching TV in your house back.

I certainly don't agree with everything in this book but I plan to start using his principles for elimination starting next week and will try some of the other principles in the new year. The biggest thing I got out of this book was that "work hard for 40 years then retire and live off your savings" is not the best way to go about life. Time is more valuable then money. You don't have to be a millionaire to have freedom and flexibility in your life now. To enjoy those things now though I will have to not do what everyone else is and try something different. This realization is both incredibly freeing and a little scary as well (I'm pretty sure I terrified Jobina as I read selections from this book to her). This book is not for everyone and the author is occasionally a bit crude but it was absolutely fascinating and mind blowing. With that in mind, I rate it 4.6 ninja stars out of 5.