Shifted

The last few weeks have been a bit challenging around our house. A few week ago we put in a bid on a house with more bedrooms and actually won the bidding war. Amazing. After the jubilation ended we were left with trying to figure out how to sell our house - shall we go private sale or a realtor? Recently the realtors have been forced to open up the MLS so we decided to try and sell privately on the MLS with a flat fee broker. It's much cheaper, but more work. The thing is that we only have a week or so to sell the property and so it's been a bit stressful doing the cleaning, moving stuff out, redecorating, fixing, babysitting the kids, etc. This weekend is our open house (Sunday 1-3) with offers to purchase the following Tuesday. Jobina and I have both felt quite overwhelmed sometimes (OK, I have felt overwhelmed) with business and worry and when I hit that place I start to lose my perspective on what is really important.

Then I saw this yesterday.

Seeing those pictures dumbfounded me. I felt intense grief, grief that children have to suffer like that and are suffering like. I also felt incredulous that a few moments ago I had been worrying about how much money I was going to be able to get for my house when there are literally millions of people who are worrying about if they are going to have enough food to feed their children. Suddenly reality (and God's reality) got through to me for a moment. All I wanted to do was something to help. All my internal worrying and whining about not having enough was shown for what it is - stupidity. I am blessed to have more then I'll ever need.

There is massive famine in Africa right now. But there are people trying to do something about it. I saw an add this morning for Samaritan's Purse who is doing relief work in the drought stricken areas of Africa. Check out some of the details here. And the Canadian government is doing something cool - matching any donations for Africa given to Samaritan's Purse, if it is given before September 12th. Feel free to donate at this link. If you feel lead to give something I know you won't regret it. And please pray for those who are suffering!

A Deep Question

At my small group I kind have a "question of the day" to get us thinking and discussing. Last week the question was "Which of the 7 deadly sins do you find the most difficult to resist and which are the easiest?" Like me, the questions are kind of random and are usually tied to whatever I'm thinking about lately. So here's a question I've been thinking about lately:

If a spouse denies their partner sexual intimacy for an extended period of time, is this a form of unfaithfulness?

Just curious what you think . . .

Above All Else . . .

I have been reflecting on these words the past week:

20 My son, pay attention to what I say;
listen closely to my words.
21 Do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;
22 for they are life to those who find them
and health to a man’s whole body.
23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
24 Put away perversity from your mouth;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead,
fix your gaze directly before you.
26 Make level paths for your feet
and take only ways that are firm.
27 Do not swerve to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.

Thia is wise counsel for any young man, and even "older young men" like myself. I find that by focusing on this daily passage for awhile that my thoughts and habits are altered. What scripture have you been reflecting on lately?

2011 Goals

"A goal without a plan is just a wish." - Antoine de Saint - Exupery

After much thinking, some discussion, and some prayer, here are my goals (if the Lord wills it) for the year:

2011 Goals

As a Christ follower
-Verbally (out loud) submit myself to God daily, every part of me
-Pour myself out serving God and others, investing in their lives
-Using my money, time, and resources store up treasure in heaven
-Spend quality time with God twice daily
-Invite someone to church
-Pray weekly for family, friends, clients
-Do at least one 24 hour Solo retreat (scheduled)
-Set aside some extra giving money for missionaries/compassionate needs
-Reboot confession/accountability with an old friend

As a husband
-One Date every month with Jobina (scheduled)
-One weekend getaway with Jobina (scheduled)
-10 hours/week quality time, meeting our most important emotional needs
-No screens in the bedroom, ever
-Set Up specific boundaries around computer/TV/reading time

As a father/family leader
-Family vacation (scheduled)
-Go down to a maximum three nights a week by end of March
-1 overnight get away with each of my kids (scheduled)
-Minimum 1 hour a week quality time with each of my kids
-2 “dates” with each of my older kids during the year (scheduled)
-4 family day excursions per year (scheduled)
-Rethink how we celebrate Christmas, make own traditions

In terms of my physical health
-Get to bed by 11, 5 days a week
-Minimum once a week aerobic activity (scheduled)
-Purchase winter exercise equipment (ex/ rollers or skis)
-Purchase bike rack for van
-Reduce my caloric intake by at least 20%

As an adventurer
-Two Weekend Adventures (scheduled)
-One day solo adventure (scheduled)

In terms of my financial health
-Do Pay Yourself First (every month) and invest it
-Make 50% on my stock investing
-Make an extra $1000 a month income

In terms of professional/personal development
-Transition to checking email twice a day (a la Tim Ferris)
-Notes: Summaries, next session planning
-Learn Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy



I found it hard to come up with specifics for my spiritual goals, so I'm just going to rate each on a scale of 1 to 10 now and then compare near the end of the year where I rate them then. My theme is "doing what works" so most of what I'm aiming to achieve I've already done for short periods of time or I've done as an experiment but quit for some reason. A good example of this is scheduling - I find I get way more of what I want to do when I simply schedule it on my calendar. I'm finding my goal setting is becoming more of personal journey, but I post them here to give myself incentive to not forget about them as I will report on them at the end of the year.

It's past January, so I feel I can realistically finalize these goals after the cold, hard realities of life have supplanted the giddiness of New Year's. Here's hoping I'll have a meaningful and productive year (and I wish the same for you!)

Death Prayers

I was talking with a friend the other day and they confided me that they, and their family, had been praying for the death of a loved one. I had never really thought about this unique prayer before. It was a little unsettling.

My friend's family was praying for the death of someone with terminal disease and who was in a great deal of pain. Not being able to handle their suffering, the family prayed that God would take this person home. It made me think - Have I ever prayed that someone would die before? I don't think so.

The Bible has people praying for death - of themselves and their enemies. Job prayed for death sometimes and David prayed that God would kill his oppressors. Perhaps there are other examples? I can think of a few different reasons you might pray for someone's death.

1. Compassion at someone's suffering.
2. Justice for a great wrong.
3. As permanent protection from an abuser.
4. For revenge.

Can you think of any others? And have you prayed for someone to die before?

Getting Away

"Good for the body is the work of the body, good for the soul the work of the soul, and good for either the work of the other."
-Henry David Thoreau

One of my goals for this year is going to be to get away at least twice to do some reflection and spend time with God. Another goal is going to be to do 2 outdoor adventures. On the 4th and 5th of February it looks like I will be able to do both! I'm planning on getting together with two other guys and going up to Pinawa for some monastic stuff, some hanging out with other guys stuff, and some XC skiing. Good for the soul, good for the body. I very much need it! We have some extra space available so if you know me and would like to come along, feel free to email me for the details!

Pausing

Today I took my kids to the library. It felt different, usually when I'm in the library I like to take out several books but today I just couldn't bring myself to take out even one. I think it's a mixture of things.

In The 4 Hour Work Week (an extremely radical book), the author Tim Ferris theorized that one of the reasons people aren't more productive or more successful (even possibly less happy) is because they read too much. Yes, that's right too much! His thinking is that we waste alot of time reading about things that aren't really helpful or that we won't ever apply and so we read too much. That's a pretty simplistic summary of his argument, but it got me thinking. Is it possible I read too much?

Ferris challenged people to try fasting for a month or two from reading books, newspapers, and magazines and see how productivity increases. This is just the kind of radical experiment that I would like to try. I'm kind of trying this but I'm not doing well (so far I've read three books of fiction). But the idea of fasting from reading feels like something that might be helpful for me for a season. So this is one factor that has kept me from actively searching for books to read.

The second thing is that the books I have read so far have impacted me in wanting to move closer to Christ. I suppose God used them (along with other things) and I have enjoyed feeling more appreciative and humbled before Him. The closer I feel to Him, the less I feel like reading (Christian and secular books). And if I do read, it feels different. I find myself reflective and searching and trying to enjoy being with God as opposed to learning about him. When I'm in this mode I find that even when I'm reading the Bible I limit how much I'll read in a sitting.

The third reason I find myself pausing in my reading is that I learned so much last year with my "book a week" program that I feel like I need to time to reflect and then take action. In some ways it was like trying to drink from a fire hose. This causes me to see new books as something for the future, after I've implemented what I've already learned.

All of this to say, that I'm feeling a desire to pause in my reading of books. Kind of.

James and Me

I'm reading through the Book of James right now. Although Martin Luther called it "a right strawy epistle," the book of James is very special to me. It was the first book of the Bible that I read and . . . it hit me. I mean really hit me, the kind where you find yourself convicted, crying, and connected to God. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was in my room, home from the first year of Bible College and enjoying my summer. I had read through the Bible during that year but and although I learned lots and enjoyed it, it was nothing like I felt that day. I opened my Bible and randomly picked James and as I read everything suddenly got intense - and I became super focused. Every word burned in my heart and the conviction was almost unbearable. I found tears in my eyes as I felt God speaking to me through his Word. I sensed his will for me. It was all very unexpected and wonderful.

I don't feel that way very often when I read the Bible, but when I do I am extremely thankful. That day was a gift and a reminder that God can indeed speak to us powerfully. And I still never tire of reading James' letter and his call to action:

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”

Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.

James 2:14-19

A Costly Gift

Sometimes around Christmas I'll receive some gifts of appreciation from my clients. One particular client is a person gifted with a great intellect, a compassionate heart, and a sincere faith. But due to setbacks in his life he is very financially challenged. I know how small of a living space he lives in (smaller then most of your bedrooms), how much money he lives on, and how he doesn't have enough to take care of some of his most basic needs.

He surprised me recently by giving me a Christmas card with a Tim Horton's gift card in it. I was very moved by this gift. You see, it was the costliest gift I'd received this Christmas. It wasn't a lot but it was a huge gift. How so you might ask? What this man had freely given me was a much larger percentage of his income then any of the gifts anyone else had got me this Christmas. Wow. I was greatly humbled and greatly blessed.

His generosity reminded me of this passage:

As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”

Real Accountability

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."
-Proverbs 27:17

I am convinced that men crave and need accountability but very few ever truly experience it. Accountability (my definition) is choosing to be real with someone and inviting them to consistently ask you tough questions about where you are at in your life, holding you to the standard that you ask to be held at.

Notice that my definition puts the onus on the one wanting accountability. Accountability forced on someone doesn't work long term. Real accountability must be embraced for it to work. When I meet with couples in premarital counselling I will ask them where things are at in their physical relationship but when it comes to further accountability I offer it but don't demand it. It is a courageous path and it must be freely chosen. And when it is, it is a beautiful thing.

Someone shared with me recently about how they wanted to ask for deeper accountability from some friends but they were afraid. First, they were afraid to ask. It's hard to ask someone for such a big commitment of time, engergy, and potentially awkward questions. We naturally feel bad to put someone into that situation. Secondly, we are afraid to be truly real. If I ask someone to ask me the tough questions then I will actually have to answer them! I don't know about you but admitting doubt, impure thoughts/actions, sin, etc is not very fun. I want people to think well of me. Thirdly, accountability is tough because if someone asks us the tough questions and we answer honestly then we then feel the need to take action. Choosing to change something that we know is wrong can be incredibly difficult. Lastly, accountability takes time and hey, we have such busy lives, right?

Yet, if we really want to grow, if we really want to mature, if we really want to throw off sinful behaviors and replace them with Christ-like ones then choosing the way of accountability is where it is at. It is the road less travelled. Personally, I have only experienced consistent, chosen accountability for a few very short times in my life but wow, were they ever powerful! The iron of my soul was sharp. My prayer is that someday I am courageous and blessed enough to find it again. How about you?

Fruit and Passion

This is not a post about a store (sorry ladies!). It's about faith.

How do you know if a Christian is close to God? I was asking someone this the other day and they told me they thought it was excitement. Passion, in other words. I have heard this answer many times. "Wow, that guy is really pumped for God!" or "Wow, that girl is really on fire!" The more excitement shown the more spiritual the person. And if you don't have passion, look out. Something is definitely wrong! For many of us passion = spirituality.

We all desire to have passion in our relationship with God (I know I do). But I wonder, what if we changed the question a little and said this: How do you know if a Christian has become "mature," "fully grown," etc? I don't think the answer would be passion. The way I read the Bible the answer would be fruit and obedience:

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." - Galatians 5: 23-34

In my mind fruit is much more important then passion. Passion (or zeal) by itself is not good (Rom 10:2). Now I'm not saying it's a bad thing. In fact in Romans 12:11 we told to "Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord." You can be zealous without being obedient. And you can definitely be zealous (or passionate) without having fruit.

Fruitless passion . . . sucks. We have all seen and experienced it. Zeal without love does so much damage. Passion without joy is downright scary sometimes. Being on fire but not having self-control eventually leads a person to very bad places. I find myself quick to judge my fellow Christ followers sometimes and I need to be careful of that. So many of the external things I treasure (like passion) become super important and the most important things (fruit and obedience) are minimized and ignored. Imagine if we hired and followed our leaders, not based on their passion but on the spiritual fruit that their lives displayed? Fruit doesn't lie and you can't fake it (at least for any length of time). Look for the fruit in yourself and others. This is what I'm learning right now.

Spiritual Loneliness

I spoke with a man once who described to me how him and his wife had been hurt by a Christian organization. Both had been through the ringer emotionally. Curiously, he responded by moving closer to God but his wife moved away from Him. This created a terrible feeling which he coined as "spiritual loneliness." His spiritual intimacy with his wife had been lost and he was grieving it immensely. I often think back to this conversation and reflect on this seldom spoken about marriage topic.

Spiritual loneliness is almost a sure thing when it comes to marriage. At some point you will experience it and for some couples it is mostly the norm. For couples where one person is a non-believer then it is even more felt. Sometimes spiritual loneliness is a result of powerful expectations about one's spouse and how that it disconnected from reality. Different people have different sacred pathways (or ways of connecting with God) and this can be challenging to understand and accept.

Everyone goes through periods of dry spells, doubt, and putting God on the shelf. I'm sorry but it's true. If you haven't experienced it yet you will. Life's challenges, changes, and adjustments often are shown in the fragility of our faith. And this fragility affects the marriage in powerful ways which can certainly includes spiritual loneliness.

For better or for worse includes spiritual loneliness. How to cope with it? Some try to shame their spouse, guilt them, or manipulate them. Others depress or become anxious. And some manage to persevere. Any thoughts on this topic? I want to do a speak on it someday and I'd appreciate hearing from anyone on their experiences or advice.

A Sweet Moment

Today I dropped off my 8 year old Riker off at his very first week of camp at Beaver Creek Bible Camp. This is momentous enough but he is also staying in the very same cabin that I first stayed in when I first came to my first week of camp - how cool is that? Not to mention the fact that he was almost born at this camp (Jobina's water broke while we we were up at camp and he was born a few hours later after a terrifying drive to Winnipeg). I guess you could say that our family has a lot of history at this place.

Dropping him off today I tried to think about what it must have been like for my parents to drop me off to that very same cabin 26 years ago. Were they as excited for me as Jobina and I are for him? Were they nervous? I think about how that first camp experience changed my life - feeling the dedication and joy of not just my counselor but a whole camp staff dedicated to showing Christ's love. I remember the feelings of awe and mystery that surrounded me that first week of camp. Camp fires, exploring the bush, canoeing on the creek, listening to Bible stories before bed in my bunk. It was there that I first remember feeling a hunger to know and serve God. I had stayed as a camper in this cabin, then I was a counselor in it, later I was a camp director who walked by it and prayed for and occasionally disciplined those inside it, and now I was coming back to it again to drop off my eldest son. A sweet moment indeed. All these thoughts and memories ran through my mind as we walked up to "River Bend Pad" this morning. I felt like I was walking on holy ground.

Riker seems a lot more confident and a lot less shy then I was (I remember feeling so nervous that I almost wanted to throw up) but when I asked him how he slept the night before he told me "I woke up a few times worrying if the other kids would like me." Ah, my son, I know how you feel! My prayer for him is that he will be safe, have fun, and most off that God would get ahold of him in a powerful way. It is a bit of a harrowing thing to surrender your children to a camp for a week - even if you know the camp as intimately as I do. But I know he is in good hands.

Invited

I was reading Luke 14 yesterday and for some reason these verses stuck with me:

"Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous."
-Luke 14-12-14 (NIV)

The idea of inviting a whole bunch of people over to my house who I don't know and who are poor, crippled, lame, or blind is both appealing and scary to me. Where would you find such people? How would you get them to come? What would happen to your house?

I realize that Jesus was probably not literally saying we should do this, but I started to think a lot what this might look like and what it might feel like. I'm guessing that putting on a banquet in ancient times could be (like today) alot about what you get out of it; connection with people, the gratitude and admiration of others, feeling impressive in your own eyes, etc. It must have shocked the pharisees who were with Jesus for him to suggest such a radical new way of throwing a banquet. I wonder how I would have reacted to Jesus if I was there with them.

Anyway, I'm not sure if Jobina would support me having a banquet at our place for such people - but who knows? I'm also not sure - perhaps someone else has tried this - or you know of someone who has tried it? If so, I'd love to hear about it. I can't quite shake this scripture from my mind . . .

That Crazy Sennacherib

This past Sunday morning I was laying in bed reading my son Riker a Bible story. It was from 2 Chronicles 32, the account of how God saved Judah from Sennacherib of Assyria and his army. In the story Sennarcherib taunts the city of Jerusalem and it's king (Hezekiah) as he prepares to lay siege to the city. It's a great story, God vs the huge ego (and army) of Sennacherib. I love the author's commentary in verse 19 "These officers (the Assyrians who were taunting the people on the walls) talked about the God of Jerusalem as though he were one of the pagan gods, made by human hands." Subtle foreshadowing and theological commentary!

God of course protects his people. "King Hezekiah and the prophet Isaiah son of Amoz cried out in prayer to heaven about this. And the Lord sent an angel, who annihilated all the fighting men and the leaders and officers in the camp of the Assyrian king. So he (Sennarchib) withdrew to his own land in disgrace. And when he went into the temple of his god, some of his sons cut him down with the sword."

I explained to my son what the word annihilated meant. Then I asked Riker if he knew what that last part meant, "some of his sons cut him down with the sword." He was unsure. I said that Sennacherib's own sons killed him! I speculated about some of the reasons - maybe the sons were embarrassed by their father's defeat in Jerusalem or maybe they were impatient to get to the throne.

After a very long pause pause, Riker looked at me and said "Dad, don't worry, I won't kill you." I told him thank you and felt reassured. My throne (and life) are safe.

As amusing as this was Jobina told me that later on Riker was looking up and reading the story again his own Bible and for that I am grateful and encouraged. I may end up being a disaster as a father, but hopefully some day he'll tell his friend "Well, at least I remember him reading Bible stories to me." That wouldn't be the worst legacy to have.

(By the way, if you want to have fun with people during a sword drill, call out "Hezekiah 3:32." I tell you I never get tired of that one.)

On Guard

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
-Proverbs 4:23

A few weeks ago in my church John Neufeld, a former counselor and pastor, spoke on this verse. Solomon (the wisest man who ever lived) believed that the most important thing above all else was to guard your heart. I remember in Seminary being taught that in the Jewish understanding of things, the heart wasn't separate from the soul and mind - they are all one entity. As followers of God guarding our hearts is one of the most important things we can do.

So how do we do this? John had a fairly simple sermon which suggested three ways to guard our hearts:

1. Read the words of God.
2. Memorize the words of God.
3. Meditate on the words of God.

Disappointed? I was a bit. But as he explained how powerful these practices were I was very moved. He shared about how in his decades of counselling he has never counselled a couple in trouble where both people read the Word on a daily basis! Of course he admitted this was possible, he has just never seen it. He also talked about how if you know how to worry, you can meditate. So for the last week and half I have been memorizing Proverbs 4:23 (I'm a fast reader and slow memorizer) and reading/meditating on Psalm 119. I'm trying to get into the habit of guarding my heart, above all else.

There was something about this simple, almost old-fashioned sermon that touched me very deeply. I fought back tears - something I don't do a lot in church and a sign to me that God was saying something important to me. I need to start guarding my heart and reading his Word more consistently, making it a higher priority again. And already I have noticed a difference. I feel more sensitive to sin and my own predisposition to it. I'm becoming more careful, more on guard of things that could hurt my heart. Thanks John for a sermon I needed to hear . . .

Cussing

This morning as I was driving to work and listening to the radio (CJOB - "The Superstation!") I listened with interest about how in California, the first week in March is going to be "No Cussing Week"). Apparently this reaction against foul language was started by a young lady who began a group on Facebook that now has many thousands of members. Interesting.

How do you feel about swearing? I have always been a "no swearer" - never had a problem or issue with it. It's honestly never been attractive to me. I have many vices but swearing isn't one of them. When I was in full time ministry I noticed that "swearing" was one of those things that many ministers, youth pastors, counselors and elders would sometimes let slip. It became that as I got closer to someone I would wait for it - it was almost a sign of how much they trusted me and liked me that they could swear in front of me! So many ministry people feel the constraints of their profession and enjoy the freedom to occasionally let loose an f-bomb or the like to express their frustration or hurt.

Although I don't like it, I don't judge people for it and certainly in my office I hear lots of foul language. When I was young I was very sensitive to it, but now due to my profession I am mostly desensitized. It doesn't matter if a person is Christian or non, most people at some point will go there. So is it really a big deal? And what constitutes cussing to you? I'm amused by my friends and family members who giggle or laugh when others swear, it's like a guilty little pleasure. Perhaps a small act of rebellion? I guess for myself every week is no cussing week. How about for you?

The Day After . . .

Well, it's the day after, how was your V-Day? Mine was pretty good. Our house is the den of sickness right now so we were happy to just have a brief reprieve from vomiting (that came back today) but Jobina and I spent some nice time just hanging out together. I have blogged in the past about the unique ways that we react to Valentine's Day, but hopefully you observed the day in one way or another. Maybe a date, a card, flowers, some kind words, or some time spent together. I will assume that if you are married that you probably did something.

Aside from the pressure, commercialization, and general madness that is Valentine's day, I really like the idea of either a special occasion or a reminder to woo that special someone. What is natural in the beginning of a relationship gets tougher as person moves out of the "in-love" stage that is the hallmark of all romantic relationships. This "in-love" experience has been studied and is a chemical/emotional high that accompanies all romantic beginnings. It is the true manifestation of eros love - a love that desires and is captivated by the beauty of another. Studies show that is accompanied by obsessive thinking. Because the person is always on your mind, romantic acts are as natural as breathing. It's a great stage, but it doesn't last forever - research pegs it lasting to a max of about 2 years (slightly more if the romance is a secret -as in an affair).

The thing about eros love (erotic love?) is that is is very centered on . . . oneself. "I love you . . . because of what I get from you." We never say this of course, and we may protest it, but it's true. I'm starting to realize that while this love is not necessarily inferior, it is certainly not it's highest form. It is merely a beginning . . . hot, passionate, and exciting, but only a beginning. Feeling in love is not the same as being loving.

Which brings me to my thought today: What would it be like if we pretended that everyday was Valentine's Day? What if we made a choice to love our spouses in extraordinary ways, every day? One of the Greek's words for love is agape, which is a sacrificial kind of love that is very different from eros. Instead of focusing on what we get out of the other person, it focuses on loving the other person. It says that love is patient, kind, not envying, not boasting, never proud. It is not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered. Amazingly, this kind of love keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Pretty radical stuff.

In 1 Corinthians 13 (the passage I've been contemplating lately and where the above description comes from) it says that nothing matters if it isn't done with this kind of love. I am still trying to wrap my head around it but for me it is deeply humbling because I don't know if I have ever lived even remotely like this. My friend Andrew challenged me to speak on this passage at my youth speak in Teulon and now I'm finding this old, familiar passage is overwhelming me. All of this is simply to say that for Christ-followers, every day is Valentine's Day, a day to show our spouse that they are loved, not because of what they will do for us, but because this kind of love is the only way to live a life worthwhile. It doesn't mean that we can't still enjoy eros (after all, it is a wonderful gift from God), but lavishing agape love on our mate is the greatest thing we can do on this Earth, for God and for each other. I only wish I had realized it earlier.

Faith's Shadow

From Naked Pastor's Dave Hayward:


Something about this felt profound . . .

Disquieting Effect

On Sunday evening Jobina and I picked up our kids from my parent's house (we occasionally drop them off there) and we were hanging out before making the long drive home. My Dad mentioned that the sermon in his church that morning was on contentment. As he started telling us about it, he mentioned that the pastor asked the church to answer the question "Are you content?" For some reason when my Dad said that, I noticed that it had a disquieting effect on me. Ever had that happen to you? Someone mentions something and internally it kind of throws you a bit. Maybe some discomfort. Or the hint of fear. Emotionally you react to it and the overall effect is somewhat unsettling. "Hmmm . . . that's interesting," I thought, trying to be the professional counselor and being self-aware of the effect it was having on me.

Then my Dad mentioned that the pastor said that it was up to us to "choose to be content." That's when the disquieting effect really kicked in. I found myself questioning this out loud. "How is that possible, " I asked, "and what does it look like?" My parents must have noticed the slightly different edge to my voice and looked at me curiously. Later on the ride home I told Jobina about my internal reaction to the conversation. I think that the idea of contentment is something that has always mystified me. How can you be content without being complacent? How can one be content in the moment yet still fervently pursue worthwhile accomplishments and vision? What is the secret to this. I think that I experience moments of contentment but my Dad's comments stirred something deeper in me, a knowledge that my desire to experience contentment is not being adequately met. I have been thinking about it for the past few days and the thinking has been good. Sometimes a disquieting effect is just what the doctor ordered. . .