Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Not In The Club?

We live in a townhouse on a bay. It is almost like it's own little village and all the kids on the bay get to know each other. The other day, some of them built a fort (and a club) which both our kids were invited to join. All was bliss - for about a day.

Yesterday I found out that both my kids had been kicked out of the club. Ouch! Both had come crying to our door, hoping Mom would make it better. The reasons for the expulsion from the club weren't really important. The fact is when you have a club it seems infinitely more fun if some people aren't allowed in it. It is our human nature and sometimes that nature takes something positive (a group of people getting together) and wrecks it (denying people access, kicking them out, blackmailing them, etc). This is the lesson about human nature that my kids learnt. We all want to belong and when we get the message that we don't . . .ouch.

I was intrigued with Trinity's reaction though. She came crying to the house but when Jobina started to reassure her that is was OK, Trinity interrupted her and said "I don't really want to be in their club anyway." Then she grabbed a friend and went and did her own thing. I think she was wise to see that the rewards for belonging to that particular group weren't worth it for all the pain it would cause. She chose to let it go.

Sound familiar? We may all be older, but I think we still have the tendency to want to belong to our exclusive clubs. What group are you trying to get in to (or trying to stop from being kicked out of)? Even churches and ministries can get like this, which is ironic. I was thinking about how at my church I have sometimes felt like for the past two years I have not been in on any "clubs" (mostly my own fault) and how that felt. Now suddenly I feel like I am in some clubs, and I'm worried that I'll start unconsciously keeping people out. Why would I do this? Because it's our human nature - even in the church. I challenge you - are you at a place where you are someone who is letting people in or keeping them out? Or maybe you need to say "I don't really want to be in their club anyway" and go find other friends to play with. If this resonates with you, do something about it.

May Light increase!


Jobina said...

I was getting so frustrated because I was trying to explain to Trinity what she could say to the kids to work it out and she just wasn't listening. Finally she just said, "I don't care. I don't want to be in their club anyway." It wasn't in a snarky voice or anything, just very matter-of-fact.
I remember being the same way. If I couldn't break in to a group, I'd make my own. I'm not sure if I'm still like that or not. Hmmm...

Elayne said...

I'm in quite a few "clubs". Some of my clubs are geared to entice new people to join us. In fact, most of my "clubs" have what some would deem an open chair policy. I was in a group that decided to not include anyone new and though it was a good thing for awhile, it didn't last. However, I do think there may room in our lives for a "club" where we can go to let our hair down, relax, rejuvenate, and enjoy the kind of intimacy that comes from knowing a group of people really well. A place where trust and confidentiality has been established. There's rest in that and I think we need that. No?