Thursday, October 8, 2009

Bromantically Speaking

bromance - the complicated love and affection shown by two straight males.
(Urban Dictionary)

Recently I went out for lunch with someone who I used to minister with. We hadn't seen each other for several years but out of the blue he had emailed me and asked me if we wanted to do lunch. We went to Tony Roma's and basically caught up on each others lives. It was good. At the end, he had to run and then he said "Hey, it was great talking to you again . . . you know I'd really like to be friends. I don't know if you are looking for friends . . . but I'm new to the city . . . you know, maybe we could go to a Bomber game or see a movie?" Suddenly I realized what had happened - I was on a guy date and I hadn't even realized it. Now I was getting an invitation - was I interested in taking this to the next level? I told him I would like that. Then, just like that, he was gone.

I sat there pondering this amusingly. A little while ago Jobina and I rented the movie I Love You Man which is a movie about "bromances" or "man crushes" and the seldom discussed area of intimate (important: non-gay) male friendship. Although the movie is in my opinion way too crude (crude enough for me that I almost didn't get through it and certainly wouldn't rent it again), it did make me think about how one goes about the often awkward process of finding good same-gender friends. Occasionally you meet someone and you are naturally just become inseparable (I had this happen to me a few times in my life) but often it is more like dating - sometime you like the other person more then they like you (and vice versa). You fear rejection and sometimes get nervous. And of course sometimes you just don't know where you stand with your friends - do they really like me or not? And if so, how much? The idea of men going out on dates with each other offends my masculine spirit but I think it is the reality of what often happens.

Anyway, I find the whole subject interesting. . .

1 comment:

The Duecks said...

we should hang out sometime too