Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Philosophy of Valentine's Day

Ever heard this from someone: "I don't believe in Valentine's Day." I have, several times actually. Usually it's a guy and they are railing against the tyranny of Valentine's. "Why should I have to act romantic just because it's Valentine's Day? Shouldn't I be romantic all year round? Why should I suddenly start doing it on February 14th? I'm fighting the system! Too much pressure - it's not right! I hate flowers and chocolates - I'm going to rebel! Valentine's is a commercial holiday, nothing more." I've heard these and many more.

There are lots of guys out there who absolutely despise Valentine's Day (probably there are girls who do as well, but I can't thing of any right now). For the guy who is spoken for, Valentine's can be stressful! There is pressure to perform and in a "Valentines-ish" way pervades the day. No wonder some rebel. Viva la revolution!

So some guys just don't "do" it. They ignore the holiday and usually sit down and explain to their woman in a rational way why they aren't going to celebrate it. Occasionally some women agree. Most however don't. I find that for every 1 woman who is OK with her man not celebrating Valentine's, there are 9 who are disappointed. Big time.

My opinion is that it's a cultural thing and it's very difficult to fight or reject culture because culture is shared ideas. You might reject a mainstream idea but that doesn't mean the woman in your life will! Like tipping, you pretty much look like a jerk if you don't do it (no matter what your excellent argument against it is). Like most men, I struggled with this manufactured day of commercial excess and impossible to live up to expectations. I even briefly rebelled against it myself. One day though I noticed that when I talked about it how sad and disappointed my wife looked and I realized I was deluding myself. Whether my reasons were good or not, I could tell that my wife thought it was special and by rejecting it she kind of felt like I was rejecting her. So finally I just gave up my ideals and embraced what little of Valentine's day I could find that was good (and there is good in it) . . . for her. I celebrate Valentines wholeheartedly . . . because I love her. Romance is all what you make of it.

Have a great Valentine's Day!


Jobina said...

And you make romance good! I love you!

Jay Boaz said...

Sarah and I are going on our Valentine's date when we're in Winnipeg later this month. It's just not the same going out on a "date" at Jessie's Grill! :) (no offense meant to Jessie's, I think thir food is excellent!)

Last year Sarah told me she didn't care about Valentine's, so I was like, "Sweet, I don't have to do anything!" She admits she kinda shot herself in the foot last year. :)

(Keep in mind I was in Winnipeg and she was in Mennville so it's not like I even saw her on Valentine's Day)


Mark said...

Many a woman will say they don't care about Valentine's. Occasionally one will even mean it!