May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love.
- (Proverbs 5:18-19)
Warning: Reality-Based Discussion of Sexual Ethics below
Today I was listening to one of our 16/17 year old bussers describing a problem she had. Her 18 year old boyfriend was going to a strip club with some of his friends. The girl was upset. I thought it was because, well. . . he'd be seeing naked women. Actually this wasn't the case at all. She was upset because sometimes the strippers (who sometimes come in contact with the men) can pass on certain sexual diseases/infection (I don't want to get into the specific of how she believed this could happen) and she was worried he could pick it up. "So you're OK with the fact that he's going to watch naked women?" I asked. She said she didn't care, she just didn't want him "getting" anything. Another waitress walked by and said, "I wouldn't care if my boyfriend went to a strip club. As long as he wouldn't have sex with anyone. After all he watches porn." "You're OK with your boyfriend watching porn?" I asked incredulously. "Sure, why not?"
Apparently both of these girls were OK with their boyfriends watching porn! I didn't get a chance to ask them more about this, but if occurred to me that maybe this is a lot more common then I thought. Some women have just accepted the fact (and say they are OK with) their men watching this. Do they accept this because they are just giving up the battle (he's going to do it anyway, why fight it?) Are they afraid that they lose the guy if she says something? Or is it because they think so little of themselves that they don't believe that they are worth enough to say "No, you can't do that"? Or maybe, based on their ethics, they really believe it: "Hey, as long as he remains faithful to me (sexually), what's the harm?" Perhaps they believe this is something that men just "do"?
This is really scary stuff on so many different levels. I wasn't sure what to say to these girls (and we were pretty busy) but the conversation made me very sad.
Church service at Holy Church near Rescue 1
4 weeks ago
5 comments:
I have heard the excuse that porn enhances the sex for the couple. It creates the fantasy, creativity and excitement element of sex. Aside from the abuse of women, abuse of drugs and alcohol (disease, lack of self worth, the list could go on) and the carefree attitude about sex that porn portrays, it is invariably something that will break up a relationship because of the insecurities it creates between the couple. This arguement does not even factor God and sin in the equation.
HETL
The "sex enhancing" excuse has been around for along time. I'm guessing this is literally a man-made line of arguement. My guess is that for some couples it truly might provide some short term excitement/enhancement but would certainly lead to relational and sexual difficulties down the road. Dr. Phil (not that he's the final word on this of course) believes pornography (and especially pornography addiction) is extremely bad for any romantic relationship.
Man, I want to comment on this so badly but every time I write something, I up and erase it right away. I just don't want to offend. This is a major problem though and so many people don't take it seriously. I do. I'm worth more than that. I want to cherish my husband by guarding my mind and heart against lusting after other people. And I want him to do the same for me. You won't hear the word's, "It's ok" come out of my mouth on this topic, that's for sure!
The best sex I've had with my hubby is when we're totally there together, not off in some fantasy. It's sad, it's sad that sex is nothing more than another form of entertainment.
I'm with you Jobina...want to be careful with words here, but there is no "OK" in my books. God help us!
Post a Comment