Sunday, June 29, 2008

"The Loving Thing To Do" & "Pre-Nups"

The other morning at Olive Garden it was very slow so all the "front of the house" staff were hanging out and discussing life. As often happens talk turned to relationships. First we talked about about committed dating ethics. Is it OK to seriously date someone if you are sure (or almost sure) that you would never marry them? There was quite a bit of discussion on this one. Most of the younger staff (16-22) thought that it was OK to be going out with someone (even if you didn't see the relationship going anywhere) because (1). It's better then being alone and (2.) It's better then being bored. The older staff disagreed: better not to "waste" your time and possibly break the other person's heart. If you really care about the person you won't live a lie and you'll break up with them as soon as possible to spare them the increased pain which will result when you eventually break up with them in the future anyway. It's the loving thing to do. Of course it's wiser not to start dating anyone who can't see yourself marrying but sometimes it isn't until we are seriously dating them that we realize "Nope, not gonna happen."

We also talked about pre-nuptual agreements: should people getting married get them? Many people though no - why marry someone if you don't trust them? Some disagreed though; you have to protect yourself they argued. As we talked it came to light that the people who thought pre nups were terrible were those who had never been cheated on! Anyone who was in a serious relationship and had been cheated on thought that a pre-nuptual agreement was necessary as you never know if your relationship is secure or not. This made me sad but I could understand it - once bitten, twice shy. I think there are probably some valid reasons for pre-nups, for instance if you are part of business and a divorce would jeopardize the business or your partners. It's a personal decision that I personally would never make, but I can't say it always the wrong thing for others.

Of course everyone agreed that if you were marrying a much richer person, pre-nups are definitely a bad idea! Restaurant staff are practical people after all.

May Light increase!

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