Boundaries, Dating, and "We have very few differences"

I'm preparing for our Boundaries Group Course at Riverbend (starting next week Thursday) and came across this great quote from the book:

1. Setting Limits in Romance Is Necessary. Individuals with mature boundaries sometimes suspend them in the initial stages of a dating relationship in order to please the other person. However truth-telling in romance helps define the relationship. It helps each person to know where he starts and the other person stops. Ignorance of one another's boundaries is one of the most blatant red flags of the poor health of a dating relationship. We'll ask a couple in premarital counseling, "Where do you disagree? Where do you lock horns?" When the answer is, "It so amazing, we're so compatible, we have very few differences," we'll give the couple homework: Find out what you've been lying about to each other. If the relationship has any hope, that assignment will generally help.

I love it, "Find out what you've been lying about to each other." I so often hear couples tell me how they have little conflict and agree about almost everything - they are so deluded! Difference of opinion and the ability to strongly disagree with each other does not show compatibility weakness; it shows the level of truth telling, honesty, and "realness" of a relationship. Yet so often in dating one person will ignore there own boundaries "for the sake of the relationship" and then get burned in the end. I did this with my first few dating experiences. This boundaries stuff is genius . . .

May Light increase!