Monday, December 29, 2008

Choosing Your Sucessor

Whilst hanging out with my in-laws family I overheard Mom updating Jobina on one of their old pastors. "Did you hear about Pastor ______? He's remarried. His new wife is nothing like his old wife (who had passed away). I didn't hear it from him but apparently his wife told him before she died that this woman would be a good match for him."

My ears perked up at this. Dying spouses making suggestions on their successor? Interesting.

Apparently this was not an isolated incident, my Mother in law had heard of this several times before. She wasn't sure if she could do such a thing. It made me think, if I was in my last few months of life, would I (could I) see myself making such a suggestion?

I know that I have told Jobina before that if I died I would want her to remarry (and soon). Once I am gone I have no problem with her doing that - in fact I would want her to. I want her to be happy. But to go so far as to say "Hey, I think this guy would be a good choice for you?" Not sure. I think for me it might be a control thing. For some people though, especially those who would find it difficult to move on it might be helpful. What would you look for in your successor? For me it would be integrity, character, kindness, intelligence, financial security, and faith. Oh, and maybe someone more attractive (that might be difficult for her to find, but hey, we're hypothesizing here). Anyway, this post has no real point except to let you know that some people are doing this. Would you?


Moxymama said...

My husband and I have talked about this exact thing in the past. He doesn't think he could recommend a specific person to me although he said he would like to me to remarry. I also don't know if I could name someone specifically but there would certainly be characteristics that I'd make sure he looked for, especially since we have young children and his wife would become their mother. I would want someone for my husband who is a Christian, kind, compassionate, selfless, giving, patient, loves children and is good with them. I'd also want him to find someone who balances and challenges him, much like the relationship he and I have with each other.

Rayna said...

I like Moxymamas response. Is exactly what I was going to say. I would want Michael to remarry and have a mom for my kids, but couldnt pick a specific person for him. That would just be weird to me. I might feel differently about it if I were dying and the prospect of him remarrying was close at hand though. Who knows, we could know someone then who I would love to see him marry and raise my kids.
Hows that for a straight answer. LOL