Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Stop Making Yourself Unhappy

Think about this, what makes you stressed, unhappy, or miserable? Besides basic life circumstances, William Glasser suggests 4 possible reasons. See if any of these apply to your current misery:

1. You wanted someone else to do what he or she refused to do. Usually, in a variety of ways, some blatant, some devious, you were trying to force him or her to do what you wanted.

2. Someone else was trying to make you do something you didn't want to do.

3. Both you and someone else were trying to make each other do what neither wanted to do.

4. You were trying to force yourself to do something you found very painful or even impossible to do.

When we try to control someone else, or we try to control others we are experiencing what Glasser calls external control psychology. Jesus said to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." The Golden rule is the antidote for external control psychology. No one wants to be controlled, thus we should not try and control others. If you have a difficult relationship issue right now I encourage you to try to stop all of your controlling behaviors and instead focus on controlling yourself. Stop nagging, manipulating, pressuring, moralizing, etc and just accept that you can't control the other person. It's the only decent way to live . . .


Moxymama said...

Very timely for me right now.

Elayne said...

Your post coupled with Scripture, a book I was reading, and some meditation brought me to a place (once again!) where God needed me to be so He could remind me that He does not need me to defend Him. It's a relationship issue where I felt God is being mocked but He says He can not be mocked! I forgot again! It takes all the pressure off me and frees me up completely to just nurture the relationship and let God do what He wants to do! YEA! It's NOT about me after all!!!! :)

Lindsey Dueck said...

I have a #5~

Someone tells you to do something that you were already planning to do.

ARGH. So aggravating.