Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Going Solo

I saw this video on ysmarko, and it reminded me of some of my solo times - times spent alone seeking God. I've shared with a few people about how I've gone on solos (the longest was for 5 days) and how they impacted me. The thing a lot of people don't like to hear is that part of that time spent seeking God can be tough. Very tough. I find that much of that time is often spent in battle: battle against distractions, temptation, doubt, fear, and self. I think that when I first started doing these solos that I believed God would reward me instantly for taking time off to be with him. Saint Mark, modern day Desert Father! Not quite. Just like making a date with your spouse does not guarantee a night of bliss, neither does setting time aside for God. You still bring yourself to the equation, with all your issues, hangups, and foibles. And most of the time you still need to put work into the encounter (don't all relationships require work of some kind?). Although I don't want to put God into a box and sometimes our time spent with him can be effortless and blissful, often it requires hard work. For me that work is battle and though I wish it were otherwise, that is what it is.

So maybe that's why I can identify with this video so much. Although Jesus' battle in the wilderness was very different from mine (ex/ battling Satan directly vs. me battling my sin and weaknesses), I did feel some solidarity with Him. And like the video, I too find wonder in the simple beauties of the wilderness. This video is not a literal rendition, some artistic license has been taken, but perhaps it may connect with you. Enjoy:

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