Grieving The Deleted

Thanks Terry and Jacquie for your posts this past week. It's nice to get a change of viewpoint, style, and pace by having other people post sometimes . If anyone reading is interested in being a guest poster for Random Enlightenment, please let me know. The less experienced a blogger you are, the more authentic (and probably better) you will be!

As a side blogger note, let me tell you about a sad moment I had. Several months ago, I clicked onto one of my favorite blogs called The Red Pill, written by my good friend Jay. However when I clicked on it, it wasn't there! At first I didn't believe it. A blog just can't disappear can it? It was like if you have your car stolen at the mall - you come outside and just stand there awhile, trying to figure out what could have happened. Your mind plays tricks on you. Are you in the wrong spot? Did it get towed? Slowly the cold, hard realization hits you like a load of bricks. It's gone, baby! Like when the Millennium Falcon comes out of hyperspace in Star Wars Episode IV:

HAN SOLO
What the...? Aw, we've come out of hyperspace into a meteor shower. Some kind of asteroid collision. It's not on any of the charts. (The Wookiee flips off several controls and seems very cool in the emergency. Luke makes his way into the bouncing cockpit.)

LUKE
What's going on?

HAN SOLO
Our position is correct, except... no, Alderaan!

LUKE
What do you mean? Where is it?

HAN SOLO
Thats what I'm trying to tell you, kid. It ain't there. It's been totally blown away. . .

That's how I felt when I went to Jay's blog - that it had been blown away. (Sniff.)

Usually when a blogger decides not to blog anymore they just let their blog sit there for eternity (some of you readers know exactly what I'm talking about). But this was different, the blog was not just abandoned, it was deleted. Quite dramatic and without any warning. I sensed myself going through the stages of grief:

1. Denial. "No, this can't be happening! It hasn't happened! It's still there, I just can't see it!"
2. Anger. "What, he can't do this! I loved that blog! Who does he think he is?!"
3. Bargaining. "Maybe if I beg him, he'll reconsider . . ."
4. Depression. ""I'm so sad, why bother with anything . . . What's the point? I miss that blog, why go on blogging myself?"
5. Acceptance. "It's gone. I can survive this. I will go on."

It took me awhile, but I think I'm onto stage five. I will be OK. And I will always have the memories.