Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Transparency

When I was 11 or 12 I remember feeling a strong desire to go and explore the forest and bush (on our quarter section of land) but also feeling great fear and trepidation about doing so. I can vividly remember standing behind our house and looking longingly into the distance towards the trees but finding myself frozen with fear. I literally couldn't take a step. What was I afraid of? Wild animals mostly (wolves, bears, cougars, etc.). Yet my heart wanted to know what lay in the woods. My instinct and my fear duelled for supremacy.

Eventually my heart won out over my fear and I explored the bush. It was exciting, terrifying, and deeply satisfying - all at the same time. I found that the wilderness was a place where God and I could have fellowship. I have never regretted my choice.

This relates to my subject of the day. It seems to me that we wear a lot of masks. The masks protect us from being real with people, of showing them who we truly are. Transparency - the act of being ourselves with others- is frightening and unnatural. We desire it - we crave it in fact - but we fear it at the same time. "What will people think of me?" "What if they knew about my past?" The fears and doubts swirl in our heads. Eventually most of us will take a chance and reveal ourselves to someone. Scary and unsafe it is and sometimes we will get hurt. But really, its the only decent way to live.

1 comment:

RLE said...

Have I ever felt this - one many occasions! Yet when you are transparent and vulnerable, I find that is when I make the closest friendships. Makes it worth it.