I was talking to long lost friend at a wedding this past weekend. This guy was extremely authentic and though we don't know each other super well, was pretty real with me about how he was feeling towards God, people, and life in general. One of the things he said was that when it comes to friends he used to make the mistake of looking for quantity instead of quality. Now, he is looking for really good friends. Currently he's unsuccessful. I was touched by his open statement of longing for something good, but something that he doesn't have. It reminded me of talking to single people who have a real desire to find that special someone. They are ready and willing but that person hasn't appeared yet. It's beautiful and sad at the same time.
Anyway, this got me thinking about friendship. What is a truly good friend? When I say someone is my friend, what do I mean? At Olive Garden I hear people throw that term around quite a bit. But I wonder if there is huge lack of real friendship out there. Lots of acquaintances (quantity) but few people who you really know/let them know you (quality). Ask yourself (honestly) this questions: What is a true friend and do I have any? I think this a truly vulnerable place to go with oneself, it takes a lot of courage I think.
May Light increase!
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2 weeks ago
5 comments:
Quality is definitely better than quantity. I don't have a very long list of people to call up on a Friday night to do something, but the core group I do have are the kind of people who would drop whatever they were doing if I called from the side of the road stuck somewhere or needed help.
JBO
Hey Jay, I hear you. That reliability and loyalty is very important. Jobina and I were talking this evening and she mentioned a friend of hers who she could "just be totally real with" and then described her as a good friend. This being real I think is important as well. Or do we all prize different attributes in our friends? And if we do, do we look for things that we found missing in our earlier friendships? Hmmm . . .
It's interesting - we have been in a small group with people for years now and this past year especially had been questioning whether or not all the people were actually our friends, or just acquaintances. Sad, huh?
On the other hand, the ladies in my mom's group are ones that I feel I can be real with and love to spend time with.
Quality is definitely better than quantity. We don't have time to cultivate relationships that don't give us anything.
That's totally the question: are your "friends" really friends? What makes a friend? Obviously friendship is a two way street. I think that a lot of it has to do with choice; you choose to offer and/or accept friendship with someone. What causes you to make that decision (being real, loyalty, care for, etc) is just the gravy.
It's funny that you should talk about friends because I was just having this conversation with someone recently. My one and only true blue friend is someone I've known many years. She and I have the same beliefs, the same fears, wants and needs, and we are in similar home situations. We would drop everything to be with eachother when things get tough. We are totally honest with eachother and completely loyal. I have learned tons from her and I hope she from me as well. For me, quality is everything and I have become very choosy about who is considered a real friend.
Thanks for the post!
Love, Michele
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