If you were to be open and vulnerable with someone, what would it be more difficult to discuss: your sex life or your finances? Amazingly (to me) finances are sometimes the more difficult topic for many people. Being honest about what you make, your debts, your spending habits, your financial planning, your tax honesty (or lack thereof) can be pretty uncomfortable for a lot of folks out there.
When I became a youth pastor/camp director I was put in the curious position of having my wages put up on an overhead once a year at each organization's annual meeting. Thus, everyone knew exactly how much I was being payed. This was quite unsettling the first time, but later I got used to it, and eventually found it kind of liberating. I was forced to be open about my finances. When I do premarital counseling, I often give the couples a copy of our monthly budget (to aid them in coming up with their own budget). Sometimes when I show it to them, they get embarrassed - like they shouldn't be seeing this kind of personal stuff from their counselor (also they may be shocked to see how little a student makes)! I try to reassure them that's it OK, we've chosen to be vulnerable in this area as it can be helpful and instructive to others. Somewhere we North Americans have got this idea that our finances are our own business and should never be shared with others. Choosing to be open about it does have some benefits though.
For instance, being open about where you're at means that others can offer you assistance. Too many people get into terrible financial positions because they don't know what to do and they don't tell anyone about their situation until it's too late. Secondly, you're financial situation might be able to help someone by being instructive. For instance I tell alot of people about real estate investing because when done right its an excellent investment that can help people improve their financial situations, save for retirement, or even get out of debt. Some people have listened to me and have started investing in real estate themselves - way to go people! Thirdly, hearing about how other people handle their money can keep us accountable to how we handle ours. I need to be reminded to give, to save, and to spend less than I make. Maybe you do too. I don't think you should be transparent about your finances with everyone, but if you aren't with anyone, maybe you should. Find someone you trust and open up to a little bit. Test the waters. It won't be as bad as you think.
Church service at Holy Church near Rescue 1
4 weeks ago
1 comment:
I don't have a problem talking about it although it's less than a handful of people that I share the information with; my boss for obvious reasons, my Dad, one of my best friends, and my boyfriend. With my friend, information flows both ways--we trust each other and talk about almost everything. We're in similar situations in life and we also learn from each other. Same with my boyfriend who also happens to give great financial advice. Dad's my Dad... he asks. And I have no problem telling him for the most part. However I just got a raise and he was so proud he told some people the figure. I'm not sure how I felt about that one even though they were family. He was just being proud of his "baby girl" and I'm sure he'll be that way until I'm 90 :) Other then that... I hold that information close. It's still something that feels private as most people don't go around offering their financial information for whatever their reasons are. It would entirely depend on the situation. I have noticed society as a whole is becoming much more open about it; even in some reason articles I've read. I think that's a good thing but it's still hard. I guess the old thinking is some things are better left private: finances & sex being two of them!
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