Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Why Do We Crave What's Bad For Us? Part 2.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." - James

In my last post I looked at the vexing problem of why we crave what's bad for us. I gave a few examples and wondered about our weakness as human beings. I also said that I would give a few strategies for beating our desires. Here are a few:

1. Remove yourself from the temptation. This one's easy, if you know you have a problem indulging in something, remove it from your house, work, car, life, etc. Ex/ Binging on fatty foods is a lot harder if you don't have them in your house.
2. Flee like Joseph. Occasionally we are surprised by our temptations when we least expect it. Get up and leave, drive away, turn off the TV/computer. Don't justify being tempted, get out of there!
3. Stay close to others who are wise in the area you are weak in/far from those who share your weakness. Misery loves company - hang around those who will bring you up not down.
4. Ask someone to keep you accountable. "Ask me about _______." Give them permission to call you on stuff. When tempted (and it's possible), call them and talk stuff through. AA has a useful model for accountability I think.
5. Figure out what you really want. Whether on your own or with the help of skilled listener, ask yourself the tough questions. What do I get out of doing this? Why am I attracted to this thing that is so bad for me? What do I really want? What function does _____ do for me? Though sometimes painful, this self examination may yield much fruit when it comes to desires which war against us. It may also give us clues to victory and substituting better alternatives.
6. Recognize both your weaknesses and your strength and act accordingly. Yes, you are stronger than you realize, but don't test it too much. Reveling in a newfound ability to abstain from something is the sure path to failure.
7. If it's "not that bad" a craving, plan to give in every now and then. This is of course for non-sinful actions (eating bad food, sleeping in, being lazy, time wasting, etc). Planning to do these things robs them of their power. Caution: should only be done when some control has been established and only with strict guidelines on time/amount/etc. spent.
8. Pray. Not just "for" control but "about," sharing one's experience with God.
9. Focus your attention and time on desires and passions that are good for you. Substitution! What do you really enjoy/gets you hyped that's good for you? Start doing that instead. The key is that substituting should be done with something you enjoy. Philippians 4:8 applies here.
10. Be gracious with yourself and others. Be strong, but when you fail, forgive yourself and look positively to the future. To be gracious with yourself, you'll also have to be gracious with others - these things go hand in hand. Don't beat yourself up, take responsibility and then move forward in wisdom and discipline.

The truth is that its terribly hard work to battle against anything that we strongly desire but we know is bad for us. The above ideas will help if applied consistently, but don't expect the desires to just disappear (though hopefully they will diminish). Instead, hope and pray for the strength to say no to acting on them . . . again and again and again. Never give up.

May Light increase!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Really good stuff Mark. Practical.
I like it.

Jacquie

Mark said...

Thanks Jacquie. I find that its not hard to figure out how to resist desires that aren't good for us, its the finding the right amount of motivation that's tough. Motivation is everything!