Good Monday to all of you out in cyberspace! Today is a momentous day indeed, one that is marked on many a calendar. One that is dreaded by some yet frantically anticipated by others. Truly, the very heavens themselves will shake and the firmament below will shudder!
The kids are back in school!
What, did you think I was going to use that build-up to herald my first "official" post (if you don't count my intro)? Please, I'm more humble than that; I just felt like warming up with a little hyperbole. And with the hyperbole out of the way, let's move into the segue way; today, we're going to talk about parents in children's sports.
First, a little background on why you should even be bothered to pay attention to me on this topic. I started playing sports at the tender age of 5, and all through school I played nearly every sport that was available to me; soccer, badminton, curling, volleyball, basketball, and track (though admittedly I joined the track and field team to get out of school for a day) are all sports that I've competed in. These days I'm down to playing golf and curling regularly, but now I probably coach more than I play.
I started coaching when I was in Grade 7; my mother volunteered to coach my youngest brother's soccer team, then promptly turned to me and told me that I was running practices. Since then I've coached soccer, volleyball, badminton, and curling, and boy do I love it. I am also certified as a youth soccer and volleyball official (I've tried to repress the one time I was asked to referee basketball *shudder*).
Now, I may not be a parent, but as an athlete, coach, and referee I've seen lots of parents in action at a game. As an official and a coach I like to see parents out at games, supporting their kids (and in the event their child is injured they can take care of it instead of me!). To those parents that stretch out on and under blankets on the side of the field on a chilly day, who brought a cooler full of cold drinks for the whole team, who bravely volunteer their mini-van as a mini-bus, I salute you! To those that holler obscenities at the official, who berate the coach, and most disgustingly hound their children to attain the pinnacle of success they could never achieve, I'd ask you to sit down, be quiet, and listen up. Please.
First, let's start with the officials. Do you really think screaming your head off at the poor guy or gal with the whistle is going to help anything? Just because your omniscient, faultless vision spotted some infraction that the official didn't doesn't give you the right to scream it out to the heavens. A person in a black and white striped shirt is still a person. Picture this, if you will.
Boss: Johnson!
Johnson: Yes sir?
Boss: This memo you sent out has a typo! A TYPO! What kind of moron are you?!
Johnson: I'm sorry sir, what was the typo?
Boss: You spelt "colour" wrong! Where did this @#^$ "u" come from?!
Johnson: Actually sir, only Americans spell it without the "u".
Boss: Who are you to tell me how to spell Johnson?!
Johnson: I did minor in English Lit...
My point is this. Do you want someone to come into your office and scream at you for every perceived mistake you may or may not have made? I think not. And also remember, in most cases an official will have had to taken a training course to even be allowed to oversee a game. Unless you've had some sort of training, who are you to talk? I wouldn't try to tell my mechanic how to fix my car just because I have experience watching cars on the road.
Another practical reason for not screaming at an official is this; is it really going to help your team by angering the sole arbiter of the rules? Would you lecture the judge at a trial when your fate rests solely in her hands? I think not. With an inexperienced referee, sure, you might rattle them into serving your purpose, but with an experienced official they might just get annoyed and take it out on the team you're rooting for. If you're lucky they'll just eject you and continue to call the game impartially.
Did you know that there is a shortage of sports officials? Ever wonder why? This is purely my opinion, but I'm pretty sure the abuse officials take is a prime reason. Why should that kid reffing a Novice hockey game want to keep his whistle when the adults in the stand are screaming at him?
It basically boils down to this; if it's not acceptable off the ice/field/gym, why is it acceptable on?
Please understand, I'm not saying that everyone is cut out to be a good referee. There are some bad ones out there. But simply seeing how loudly you can correct them is not going to make them any better.
Wow, this is running long. I guess we're going to have to go ahead and make this puppy a 2-parter! Next time on Random Enlightenment, "JBo Knows: Acceptable Behaviour in Sports Part 2"!
Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel!
--JBo
--PS, if you want to know the answer to Sunday's question, highlight between here Perhaps most famous for playing both professional baseball and football, "JBo Knows" is derived from "Bo Knows" as associated with Bo Jackson! Growing up watching the Pro Stars cartoon, there was always an information segment entitled "Bo Knows". and here to see!
8 comments:
And THAT is exactly why Riker doesn't play sports! Just kidding, although that is a fear of mine, that I would become that kind of parent no matter how much I'd like to be the one with the drinks and mini-van!
Well, I'm hoping to offer some insights that might help change such behaviour in Part 2 (provided this doesn't spin into a 3-parter; maybe I shouldn't have picked a subject I'm so passionate about to start since I only get a week!). Maybe that'll help!
Jay
Still haven't decided what/if we will be putting Rhys in organised sports. Part of me doesn't want to have to deal with other parents doing these things. I also think that it is embarrassing and less fun for the kid when their parent is so vocal.
I have really enjoyed having Declan in sports. In Alberta parents have to sign a form stating that they will remain silent at all games and practises unless they are saying something positive such as, "good defense!", or "way to go!" and things like that. Any infractions result in automatic suspension of the parent for the rest of the season. There is no tolerance for verbal abuse to the official or the kids. I like that they are so tough about that and happily sign the form anytime Declan is in any sport.
Michele
Michelle: Wow! That is awesome! Here in Manitoba there are signs up in all the arenas but that's about it.
I'm curious, who enforces the rule? The coach, the team, the league...?
Jay
The rules are enforced through the leagues. Every sport in Alberta has the same rules. I have signed those forms for soccer, karate, t-ball, and swimming!!! I know other Mom's who have signed the same form for hockey, baseball, basketball, volleyball, and football. The rules are in force until the child reaches age 18 and is in adult sports. It takes the pressure off the kids and makes it more fun for everyone!
Michele
Hi Jay, I appreciate your comments on this topic. I have coached fastpitch softball for 4 years now. Every single year I have had to deal with at least on nutty parent who has made my job most unpleasant. I have recently implemented a rule for my parents. I have a parent rep who does not have a child on the team and parents must take all concerns to them. I no longer deal with parents any more and if parents violate the rule their child is suspended from the team or in more serious cases cut from the team. The abuse that I have incurred from "crazy" parents over the last 4 years has been unbelievable and I had the choice of implementing this rule or quitting coaching.
Maybe I will better understand these parents once I myself am a parent, but it blows my mind how often they miss an opportunity to teach their child resiliance and determination when they rush in to control the situation.
Haylee
Haylee: Thanks for reading and commenting!
That's interesting about the parent rep. I think I'd be hard-pressed to find a parent without a child to volunteer for such a job, but in truth I personally have rarely had problem parents (probably because I don't coach hockey!). I will be responsible for all the soccer teams in town come springtime (7-10 teams) and a rule like the one you mentioned where parents with complaints would come to me instead of the coach might be a good idea. Thanks for the inspiration!
Jay
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