Reflections from Calgary: Spiritual Abuse

"If I were asked for a yardstick to discern good from bad spirituality, I would suggest three criteria to be detached from; material gain, self-importance, and the urge to dominate others. Unfortunately, much of what is labeled spirituality in America today moves in the opposite direction. It means using the names of God and Christ to promote one's own importance, material gain, and right to oppress others."
- Rosemary Radford Reuther, Professor of Theology

During my time in Calgary I heard lots of stories about spiritual abuse or what Arterburn and Felton refer to as "toxic faith." Ever heard of it? Spiritual abuse has been defined as "a kind of abuse which damages the central core of who we are. It leaves us spiritually discouraged and emotionally cut off from the healing love of God." Another definition of spiritual abuse is "the mistreatment of a person who is in need of help, support or greater spiritual empowerment, with the result of weakening, undermining, or decreasing that person's spiritual empowerment." Here is a good introductory article on it. Also, check out Toxic Faith, a great book resource.

For some reason I happened to run into 3 or 4 people over the weekend who with tears, told me stories of oppression by their churches. Many of them were wounded severely. Others can not even bring themselves to attend a church of any kind. The sad fact is that there are a lot of churches who have leaders in them who are not there to humbly serve the faithful. Instead of being a servant, they are become cruel masters who wield their authority like a club. When they are challenged they attack. They are legalistic, deceptive, enforcers, etc. I have never been under the authority of such a leader or leaders, but I have heard way too many stories of those who have. Even in the land of milk and honey (or oil), these stories still came to me.

May God help these abusive men and women and the people they have wounded. One thing that caught my attention in these stories is that wounding happened wether the person fought the system or not (many spiritually abuse people are cowed or manipulated into being silent "to protect the church"). If you find yourself in this position, I say fight it! Secrecy and silence are the hallmarks of the abusive system. Stop enabling the abuse to continue is my line of thinking. Maybe you making a ruckus will help others to break free before they get hurt as badly as you.

May Light increase!