The Ballad of Ratface

"Judge not that ye be not judged . . ."
- Jesus, Matthew 7:1

It's been awhile since I shared a waitering story so here goes. First a little prologue thought; if you tip poorly, treat servers ignorantly, or do illogical things in a restaurant . . . servers will notice. And they will tell others. And if you return to the restaurant a few more times (sometimes only more time) the servers will give you a nickname. Trust me, you don't want this.

I remember serving a lady known as "the seafood lady." Her trick was to always come in with a friend, let the server know she was severely allergic to seafood, and then her friend would order seafood. Seriously, this happened every time. So of course the kitchen would go to great lengths to make sure that everything that cooked the seafood lady's meal was uncontaminated with anything fishy. Great lengths. Eventually when the food was brought out (on separate tray's) the two ladies would begin to eat. The server would check in and everything seemed well. A little later the seafood lady would excuse herself and go to the ladies room. When she got back she always had a rash on her neck - an allergic reaction to seafood. Apparently she did this by scratching her neck while in the washroom. She almost always got her meal for free!

Another guy was know as "the chicken marsala guy." He was a man of Indian origin and although he was a nice man his accent was so thick that no one could understand him. Imagine trying to take a man's elaborate order (as he always customized his entire meal) and asking him to repeat it over and over again until you get so sick of asking him so you just "guess" what he wants. Every server's nightmare.

One regular at our restaurant caused anger just by showing up at the front door. Dubbed "Twoonie Terry," this gentleman only tipped $2, no matter how big his bill was or how good his service was. I have never seen servers as rude to a person as they were to this man. Knowing how much exactly (and it's usually way less the standard) a tip you are going to get is an instant way to get servers testy. I don't like to admit it but I have seen this man come in and prayed that God would let him get seated in my section. These days the hostesses usually give him to the newer servers who don't yet know him. It's sad to see the crushed look on their face when they go check the table after a meal - but you are so glad it wasn't you!

Anyway, fast forward to tonight. I had just started serving a two top and went to punch in their drink orders when Johnny came up to me grinning. "Do you know who you're serving? You got 'Ratface.'" Johnny snickered at me. "I served him a little while ago. I gave him amazing service. No problems at all, the food was great, service was perfect. He didn't even give me 10%!" I won't go into the details on how his nickname came about - kids can be so cruel. Now Johnny is a really, really good server. He always makes a lot of money. Not a good sign for me. Another server Lisa also chimed in that she too had served the ratman. Ratface had apparently put a hair in his food and pretended it had been there all along. Even after the kitchen had made him a new one he had still wanted it for free! He then tipped her poorly. Lisa and Johnny both laughed at me and wished me "luck." Johnny outright said that if he couldn't even make 10 percent there was no hope for me. I thanked them for their encouragment.

What to do? Some servers would give up at this point and give these people terrible service because they don't expect a tip. Other might just do the opposite - suck up like crazy and try to give the best service they've ever given. I thought about both of these strategies. The pressure to go along with the judgment against him was very strong, but I steeled myself and decided to do something different. Trying to erase the words about this man from my mind, I decided to give good service, not react to anything ignorant, and try to be my authentic self (in other words not do anything out of the ordinary). Good, but not over the top service. "I will not prejudge you! I will not write you off Ratface!" I whispered to myself.

The meal went off without a hitch. The couple was actually quite nice and even laughed at some of my conservative jokes near the end of the meal. The only thing out of the ordinary was that I gave them double the amount of mints I usually do. Later when I went back to the table to pick up their credit card slip I was shocked: they'd left me almost 20%. Yes! Usually I don't discuss my tips with anyone, but of course I had to show this off to Johnny and Lisa. They were suitably impressed and a little annoyed. I explained to them that it was because "I had skills." Mostly though I think it was a combination of chemistry, luck, decent service, and the refusal to give into a label. Ratface had been tamed! But more importantly, so had my mind, which was much more important.

Moral of this story; Don't judge people or listen to other people's judgments - it's social and moral laziness - you need to figure people out for yourself. Treat them based not on their appearances, descriptions, or actions. Treat them as they ought to be treated. If you're not sure about what that would look like, read the Gospels.

May Light increase!